3yo won’t sleep, just plays in his room till midnight!

[user1467296110]

Hi, I’m at a loss with my three year old. He’s always been a great sleeper; 12 hours every night plus naps and we didn’t mind when he was in a cot that we could hear him chatting to himself etc for a bit after bedtime.. but now he can get out of his cot we moved him into a bed and he just won’t stay in there. The room is literally destroyed every night and other than books there’s not really any toys in his room but he still manages to entertain himself to literally midnight! He has dropped naps and goes to bed at 7 every night and is up at 7ish every day. He is driving me mad and keeping his poor younger brother (20 months) awake too..
I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to tackle it. We have a calm bedtime, they both sit on my knee with in the night garden and we go upstairs at ten to 7 every night, brush teeth etc and get pjs on, pick books to read and do all that. He’ll get in his bed and appears tired but once I leave I can hear him messing about and getting up, switching lights on etc. I can hear him laughing and playing with his brother which I don’t mind for a little while but even when his little bro falls asleep his party carries on. He is super active in the day, doesn’t really nap anymore unless he’s been really active outside or not well and should be tired, but apparently isn’t. When I go back in to put him back into bed and tell him to go to sleep he thinks it’s hilarious which sometimes winds me up but being calm or angry seems to make no difference to his reaction. It would make me laugh if it wasn’t stressing me out so much! Please help!! Any magic wands or potions would be hugely appreciated

Following - my dd is 4 and the same. Doesn't trash her room, but it does get messy. I thought when she started school she'd be more tired, but nope, just doesn't need so much sleep.

I'd try and set reasonable boundaries - e.g a small lamp by bedside or nightlight, but must not switch the main light on. Or, doesnt have to go to sleep, but must sit in bed and do something quietly like look at a book or similar? So you're allowing him to be awake but with your ground rules, and have consequences for breaking those.

I'm not too worried about my dd as she doesn't share a room, and does always get into bed and sleep when she's ready - but it's an ongoing negotiation!

Could you try and separate their bed times? I realise they share a room but maybe let the younger one go to bed and your 3 yr old remains downstairs. He could play an active game with you, then a story with you all by himself, and then bed about 8? It maybe just enough to draw that remaining energy out of him plus give him a big boys bed time. He’ll feel as though he’s winning.