DS5 sneaking into my bed at night

[Legallybleachblonde]

I'm not sure how to tackle this or if it's even really a problem but my DS5 sneaks into my bed every night - he's with me 5 nights out of 7. When he stays with his Dad, he sleeps right round in his own bed. When he's at home with me, he sneaks in. I say 'sneak' as mostly I don't hear him come in and I wake up and he's there! I have a king size bed and still sleep on 'my side' so there's plenty of room. He has a lovely bed and bedroom and we faffed about with the lighting so it's how he likes it. When I ask him how come he's in my bed, he says 'I just wanted to cuddle you'. He goes off to sleep in his own bed no problem and we have a good routine. So, should I just accept this (it wont last forever) or should I try and get him to stay put in his own bed? I have to admit some of the problem is in my own head i.e. why does he sleep perfectly at his Dad's and not mine; makes me feel like I'm failing as a parent. Anyway, would appreciate some advice or helpful comments oh wise mumsnetters 😊

why does he sleep perfectly at his Dad's and not mine

I would see it as a compliment, that he feels safe and comfortable with you.

My DD gets in my double bed, so less room!

When did you seperate? Maybe he is scared of losing you?

I just go with it, I start DD off in her own bed without any probkens and she wanders into mine about 03.00.

We separated over three years ago so DS had only just turned 2. He doesnt actually remember his Dad living with us.

My kids all come into my bed, older ones are never in their fathers. It’s not a failing, it’s them wanting to be close to you because you’re their mum

Mine don't come in but I wouldn't mind if they did during the night. He misses you. I think it's something he will grow out of.

I don't think there's any deep reason for him doing this with you, but not his dad. He just likes to come into your bed and he's only five.

DS2 used to do this around that age and a bit older if I remember rightly - he's now 38 and relatively normal!

If it's not a problem for you then I'd just go with it for now. He'll stop of his own accord or you can deal with it later if it becomes a problem.

My 9 year old still sleeps with me, if he’s still doing it at 15 I’ll see it as a problem.

My four year old gets in bed with me every night, if you’re both happy about it then don’t worry. I’ll be gutted when he decides he’s too old to for his nightly snuggle.

Cute.
I don't think it's a problem either, he just fancies being close to you.
If you're both getting plenty of sleep, happy days!

He probably doesn't feel comfortable enough to do that at his dads, personally I've never minded it and miss it now dd7 has stopped

My 11 dd sleeps with me most nights. She would come in on the odd occasion when my her dad was still living with us but since he left in January she is in most nights.
It's just not an issue.