Hubby goes back to work, when can I sleep!

[tollyfeeder]

Our baby girl is 13 days old.
She hasn’t yet spent a night in her Moses basket or next to me crib. She hates being put down.

She will settle if being held and will now also settle for a nap in her bouncy chair.

Whilst hubby has been off of work we have developed a schedule for us both to sleep, one of us stays up with the baby whilst the other sleeps.

I’m breastfeeding so my sleep is usually broken but I at least am getting some.

However, hubby is going back to work tomorrow which means I can no longer expect him to stay up with the baby.

I really don’t know what I’m going to do or when I will be able to sleep :(

People have suggested co sleeping but it’s not something I feel comfortable with.

I have been trying to get her to settle in either of her cribs but so far nothing has worked.

I’m feeling quite anxious about it as I genuinely can’t see how I’m going to be able to go to sleep.

For the first couple of months dh did any wakings up to 1am when he was back at work.It gave me more of a rest and he wasnt too tired for work (manual job)

Co sleeping was the only way I managed. Sent husband into spare bed, baby in gro bag in middle of bed, me wearing clothes. Dont worry about rods for your back, baby went into her cot happily around 3 months when she learned how to roll.

*wearing clothes because I had no duvet/blankets

We were in the same situation as you OP and I've ended up cosleeping now - everyone gets lots of sleep, it's great! Also said I'd never do it, but I was getting so tired I fell asleep holding him on the sofa a couple of times which is obviously much more dangerous.

If you're not happy to give it a go (which I totally understand) then maybe go to sleep 7pm-midnight? Depending on what time DH gets up you could go to bed for another hour before he leaves for work as well.

You could also try propping up one end of the Moses basket/crib a little so she isn't totally flat.

What @ItWillBeBetterInAugust said is what’s jumping out at me too. I haven’t had a reflux baby, but it does kind of fit what you’re saying. Try propping up the head end of her crib on a couple of books or similar, it might make a difference. The other thing that might be worth a try is popping a top you’ve worn in beside her so she can smell you too

Taking it in shifts is probably the best way to go, one night each. Whoevers 'night' it is to take a shift, gets to go up at say 9pm and have a sleep until 11pm then their shift starts so from then it's broken sleep and the one that isn't on shift gets to go to bed at 11pm and sleep all night. It won't be forever, maybe just for a few weeks/a month or two until she will settle in her next to me. It means each of you is at least getting a 2 hour nap then broken sleep one night then the next a full nights sleep. I know your DH is going to work but you're taking care of your DD all day so it's important that you also get half the week of decent sleep too or you'll never have any motivation for anything

Persevere with putting her down awake, maybe warm the cot up beforehand, it will pay dividends in the long run.

@tollyfeeder if you haven't already tried it I would definitely recommend trying white noise. If you put her down and she starts to cry, start the white noise and turn the volume up, then reduce it slowly as she settles. It worked so well for me!

I have also never tried co-sleeping, as I had the same concerns as you!

You could also try warming the Moses basket slightly with a hot water bottle before putting her down, as it could be the change in temperature.

Friends of mine have used the Zen Sleepwear, lightly weighted sleep suits and have said they helped.

A good point has been made about reflux, as that could be making her uncomfortable lying completely flat. Try keeping her relatively upright for at least half an hour after each feed if possible.

My DD never settled in a Moses basket either, but I put her in a cot next to my bed but then also co-slept once she woke up in the night. Went into her own room at about 14 months when I stopped night feeds.

Nap while she is in the bouncer. Mine used to map in a car seat for ages won't use to set an alarm to get some shut-eye. Forget about this sleeping at night malarkey that society has us doing and sleep here and there. Half an hour shut-eye here and there makes a world of difference. I've had 4 and been a single parent. It's a killer BUT I survived.

Tips would be:
Don't look at the clock at night. Just don't.
Sleep in day even 20mins while LO is in bouncer. Don't do anything else but sleep.
White noise
Swaddle.
Mine also always had a good nap after being in sling.
In the end I co slept.

White noise is definitely worth a try. Swaddling can be good for some babies, my first didn't like it but my second does. Next to me crib so you can reach out to them, but aren't worried about bed sharing.

We sleep in shifts. I go to bed around 8 once my toddler is asleep and my partner looks after her til about 1am then we swap.

I had exactly these worries too! My baby was exactly the same for the first 10 weeks of his life, wouldn't be put down or sleep alone at all. I felt the same about co-sleeping, but I looked up lullaby trust and UNICEF advice for safe co-sleeping and did it in the end - otherwise I wouldnt have got any rest. I would rather co-sleep safely than accidentally fall asleep holding the baby in an unsafe way.

My husband used to take the baby downstairs at about 6am and give me two hours to sleep alone before he left for work, and then at night he would take him from 9-midnight while i got an early night. Made things a bit more bearable.

Anyway if it reassures you at around 10 weeks my son could be put down for naps and moved into his crib! Fourth trimester is real! I'm definitely glad gave him what he needed for those early weeks - it doesn't last forever.