How do I teach my baby to self soothe?

[Mamabear04]

My LO finds it really hard to fall asleep and will only drift off if she is being bounced or rocked. She is only 3.5mo which is know is still super young but she is getting really heavy and I don't think my back can take it anymore. I would love to be able to help her to self soothe and I know that this is every parents dream and doesn't easily happen but I'd like to try to help her to do it. Does anyone have any advice as to how to start doing this or had success in doing this? Because she finds it so hard to fall asleep I worry that she will fall behind on sleep and get overtired. It has taken me a lot of effort to get on top of her naps already and I don't want to ruin this....

You can't teach a baby to self soothe, it's a developmental milestone they all reach at different points.

At this age the best thing to do is set up a consistent bedtime routine which you follow every night (same order but doesn't have to be at the exact same time). Follow her sleep cues and make sure she isn't under or overtired when you try to put her to bed.

The four month sleep regression will hit soon, and consistency is the best way through it.

As PP said, it isn’t something that you can teach them. One day it’ll just happen but it might be a long while yet. For my DS, I had to rock or feed him to sleep until he was 6 months old and he randomly started self settling. I put him in his cot while I went to make him a bottle and when I came back he had dozed off, he is now 11 months old and has self settled ever since then apart from when he’s unwell, overtired or teething (which feels like a LOT of the time at the moment!). My friends little girl started self settling at around 12 months. They all develop at their own pace.

My DS is now 4.5 months old and he only self soothes once a day. This is when he wakes up in the early hours (usually around 4am) for a bottle, he's always awake when I put him down and he falls asleep no problem. However, if I were to try this during the day he'll scream the house down. So rocking it is!! I know they say you should persevere but I very much take the easy route!! It's either a cranky baby all day because he hasn't slept properly or just give him what he wants by rocking him to sleep ha.

I have had four babies, two have self soothed (one boy and one girl), two have not (one boy and one girl).
So on my small sample I would say it’s entirely down to luck if they can do it themselves or learn to do it later.