Controlled Crying - any negative experiences?

[ImBarryScott]

I am currently thinking a little bit about CC, though I'm far from sure that it's right for us. I've enjoyed reading posts from those who have found that it has worked for them - thanks for posting! But as I want to know as much as possible about cc before I decide whether I want to try it, I'm wondering whether anyone's had a negative experience? Thanks.

Crossed posts...sorry again Thankyou Q.

Makes more sense now Well done...!

but you DON'T Just leave them to it! If you just leave them to it then it's CIO and not CC

Desperation I suppose FA. It was that with me I must admit. I thought that it was an unbearable situation. But in the end I found CC more unbearable. And with the second and third I didn't bother even trying. They all slept through by about 2.5.

What is CIO?

exactly - that's what i'm trying to weigh up
ie the horrors of an imminent return to work despite still getting woken up umpteen times a night
vs
the horrors of cc

i don't think it's an easy choice either way

thankfully I did't have to to repeat CC with DS2....he slept through of his own accord from 3 weeks old .

I don't think we'll have to repeat with DS3 eitehr - he's 14 weeks now and most nights goes from 8pm until anywhere between 1-4.30am again of his own doing.

CIO = crying it out.
it isn't a straight balance like that though, there are many other methods of encouraging your baby to sleep longer and getting more sleep yourself.
cc isn't the only show in town

We did controlled comforting with ds when he was a couple of months old which is a modified form of controlled crying - a compromise method. Here is a link to a webpage which describes the method... I suspect it was much easier on both of us at the time.

controlled comforting

BTW I'm very lucky in not having to go out to work or have a partner who needs sleep! So situation different. I can see now why it would seem worth trying for a lot of people...I do remember being quite desperate with ds1. Second time you know eventually they'll grow out of it!

I thought before you meant leaving them howling for 3 hrs.. but going in and out doesn't sound too bad at all.

CIO - Cry it Out - when you just leave them to cry without going back to reassure. Which I would never do for long periods of time - I do sort of do CIO with DS3 sometimes - occasionaly he "needs" 2-3 minutes of crying before he just drops of to sleep (most times I'll put him down he'll gurgle and chat to himself and drop off peacefully).

Oh I do that too...interpreting the 'tired cry' is a useful skill isn't it!

anyhow - DS3 now grumbling to himself downstairs so better go and sort him out (probably wants feeding........again )

Thanks for explaining and not getting too pissed off with me...!

yes it's quite funny he'll usually "screech" (sounds quite horrendous if you don't know him lol) for 2-3 minutes - sometimes a minute or so more and then it dies down to a waaaaaaaaaaah, waaaaaaah,waaaah, wah, wa....... as he falls to sleep mid moan

It's very hard, and I think you have to be at end of tether and full of determination to see it through. But I'm with QoQ. DS wouldn't sleep during the day and waking 5 or more times a night. I was exhausted, resentful and DS was clearly unhappy for much of the day. CC changed us both into human beings. Key is total consistency: saying and doing the same things at the same intervals for EVERY sleep situation (naps, bedtime, night waking). I also combined with a very strict routine pre-nap/bed and the two together worked really well.

pmsl QoQ!

But you need to discuss and agree it with your other half. It still causes problems now that dh will pick him up and cuddle him pretty much immediately. Quite interesting to see ds playing to an audience until I get involved...

I'm making myself sound like the mother from hell, aren't I??

Hi IBS

No experience with CC, but would mention that I find days at work after a broken night easier than days with DS after the same (apart from the naps). But it prob depends on your job.

Hijack over

worked brilliantly with DD1. She responded to it very quickly, and was always happiest in a strict routine, hated it if we went out and upset sleep time etc, so it was pretty limiting socially. DD2 had real problems settling, tried CC for ages, DH found it really hard to leave her for even two minutes, so i practically had to hold him back. Tried the opposite with her, went to her when she needed comfort, eventually she just needed less and less comfort, mostly just had to go in cuddle her then put her down. But I was hard because I NEVER took her out of her room at night, all she wanted was to come into us. She soon worked out she wasn't getting let out and gave up and slept, mind you that was when she was one! Try it but don't become a slave to it, just be firm with your boundaries, even tiny babies respond to boundaries.

Hi - I tried for my DD when she was 11 months, after surviving for 4 months with 5-7 times a night wake-ups. It took 3 nights, just as the books said, and yes it was horrible - BUT IT WORKED! On the 4th nigt she slept through a full 12 hours and we never looked back. I think it takes some courage to follow this approach - line yourself up with the Toddler Taming book, be prepared to feel like a monster and perhaps most importantly make sure you and your partner commit and stick to it.