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Baby has stopped self settling

3 replies

Moonshine160 · 15/02/2020 16:06

Hi, I posted a thread on here a few days ago and got no reply, I really need some advice, things are worse and I’m at my wits end. My DS is 11 months old next week and has always been a fairly good sleeper. He learnt to self settle when he was around 6 months old if he had a muslin to snuggle up to, he just randomly did it one day and has done ever since. I would put him in his cot in the dark when he was tired and he would eventually drift off. Around two weeks ago he stopped self settling both for his naps and if he woke up in the night (although yesterday he randomly self settled for both of his naps). I put this down to him having a cold and his two front teeth coming through. He’s fine now in himself other than when it comes to nap time or during the night, he is hysterical. I have no problem at all in cuddling him to sleep or whatever else he needs, but to give an example last night he was awake crying from 1:30am-5am. The only thing that gets him back to sleep is having him over my shoulder and pacing the room and rocking him. I have tried just cuddling or rocking him and being sat down but it just does not work. I give him milk in case he’s hungry and change his nappy but this doesn’t help. When he’s very sleepy or I think he’s dozed off I put him down and he suddenly wakes and is hysterical again, then the pacing/rocking process begins again. My back is in bits, he is 21lb and I’m quite physically weak and it’s killing me. I don’t know what to do. My DH tries to help but DS won’t settle for him and I’m awake anyway because of all the crying. It’s the same for his day naps, he can’t self settle and will cry if put down so I have to rock him to a deep sleep. I know it’s only been two weeks but I am mentally and physically exhausted and feel like this won’t end. Is it possible for babies to forget how to self settle? What can I do to help him? I don’t want to do controlled crying or CIO.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Jojo2wyatr · 16/02/2020 05:31

@Moonshine160
I just read your post and am feeling very sympathetic for you...I probably won't be able to help much, but I wanted you to know that someone out here cares...I wonder if it is possible that he now realizes that you aren't around while he is sleeping so he is somewhat afraid to go to sleep and let you out of his sight...poor little guy and poor mummy and daddy. My grandson all of a sudden started doing this and would grab on to two of my fingers as he drifted off so that when I tried to leave him he would know it..I was amazed at his little trick...if he felt me trying to sneak away when I thought he was fully asleep he would hold on tighter! It does sound like he may just be a bit uncomfortable with the cold and teething, too. Also seems like I read somewhere that it may be time to start transitioning to only one nap a day...maybe see if you can find any info on the internet about that.
Hang in there. Hug him tight and breathe in every speck of his little baby essence...they grow up too fast.Flowers
Please excuse typos

Moonshine160 · 16/02/2020 11:19

@Jojo2wyatr thank you, that brought a tear to my eye. I think we just need to try and ride it out. We’ve tried co sleeping but he is still so upset unless being over my shoulder but he is such a heavy boy that I’m really struggling. You’re right though, they grow far too fast and as hard as these moments are now I’m sure I’ll eventually miss them x

OP posts:
Jojo2wyatr · 16/02/2020 22:36

😘 You and DP are very unselfish, caring parents.

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