How to do bedtime if baby has to sleep in same room?

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I have a 16 week old DS who has no real routine and is very attached to me. Currently in the evenings he feeds and sleeps on me while I watch tv with DP, and then whenever he has been awake for 1.5-2 hours and it's late enough for me to go to bed, I take him upstairs and we feed to sleep and then co-sleep as he won't sleep in his snuzpod. E.g if he last napped 6-7 we will go up around 8:30, or if he napped 7-8 we will go up around 9:30.

My question is: for those that put their baby to bed at say 7pm and they are under 6 months, are they sleeping in a separate room already or do they sleep in the same room as you for the first part after their bedtime? I feel like any sleep my DS has before I go to bed is just another nap as he stays downstairs with us, but if I try to move bedtime earlier we would have to come upstairs at 7pm to be with him, and then eat dinner in our room as well presumably?! Maybe I'm being a bit thick but everyone at baby groups seems to say 'he/she goes to bed at 7/7:30' but how are they doing this without going against the SIDS advice?

My 20 week old usually has her last feed around 7ish and will either feed to sleep or be rocked to sleep after it. We tuck her up on the armchair in the living room for the rest of the evening then bring her up to bed when we go around 10. She's a pretty good sleeper and would probably be fine in the snuzpod from 7 but I still feel like I don't want her so far away right now. And has saved on not having to buy a baby monitor. No idea whether it's the 'right' thing to do but works for us! There isn't any other routine (bath or book or anything) for now, should probably start that

I would say at 16 weeks it’s normal that they still insist on sleeping on you for the first part of the evening. It’s exhausting but they do grow out of this.
If you take her up and feed her to sleep can you transfer after a while into the snuzpod? If that doesn’t work I’d just carry on for another month and then try again.
I have three kids and all this co-sleeping, feeding and rocking to sleep is normal til about 15 months in my experience. It does get better I promise!!

People talk shit about how their babies sleep. I would just nod and smile whenever anyone at a baby group says something like that. DS is nearly 6 months and we've just started putting him down about 9pm and then going to bed at our normal time (11ish). Before that, he was just in the sitting room with us. Some nights he slept pretty much the whole evening in his Moses basket and we just ignored him, other nights he was awake most of the time. I had no desire to either go to bed early or break SIDS guidelines (especially between 2 and 4 months) so it worked for us. Plus DS seems to like a 9pm bedtime and when we once tried to put him down at 7pm, he screamed bloody murder!

The ticking up downstairs in a Moses basket etc is also a good idea.. then take baby up when you go to bed.
But it’s all a phase, don’t worry about
Making a rod for your own back

And yes I agree, a 7pm bedtime is totally unrealistic for a four month old baby!

I kept both of mine downstairs with us until they were 6 months. Ds would settle in his moses basket , dd needed to be held.

Thank you all, it is reassuring to know I'm not the only one with this situation, and I agree that people don't always tell the truth about how their babies sleep!

I can sometimes transfer him to the snuzpod when asleep but he then wakes up after anywhere between 5-40 minutes, and I'm lazy so I find bed sharing gives me more sleep! I don't mind it for now as I like the closeness, but I do get cramp from lying on my side all the time so will work on getting him to sleep alone for at least part of the night after 6 months, just so I can stretch out a bit!

Thank you OP and everyone else, I am glad I have read this today.

My son is 3.5 months old and is currently in no evening routine whatsoever. He sometimes sleeps from about 7 or 8pm in the sling and then I get him out and feed him back to sleep when we go up to bed, but sometimes he has an awake period during the evening so it’s like he’s napped something like 7-9 then goes to bed at 11.

I have chatted this afternoon to some other mums of babies his age and younger whose babies are sleeping from 7pm (not sure if downstairs or upstairs) and felt a bit like I was the only one not in some sort of routine.

He is my second baby, I can’t remember exactly what we did and when with my first, but I think we had some sort of bath and in the Moses basket downstairs routine by this point.

We put our little one to bed at 730 after bath and feed. He is 17 weeks old. We have a video monitor so that we can then come back downstairs to have tea etc.
He doesn’t stay asleep by any means 🤣 wakes every 60-90 mins but at least we get some time downstairs to unwind x

With both of mine they slept in their Moses basket in a quiet, darker corner of the living room in the evening while I watched TV quietly. Then when I went to bed I took the Moses basket up with the first, with my second I transferred him into the next to me crib