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Sleep

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Original poster

My 3 week old baby can't fall asleep

22 replies

dinny · 01/10/2004 20:58

without my boob in his mouth. Even then it's a struggle to settle him. Any ideas? He gets so upset as is tired but can't drop off.

OP posts:

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prettycandles · 04/10/2004 14:48

At this age, just let him do that. He's barely got used to being outside you. You might want to try using a dummy to help him settle (you'll have to hold it in his mouth for him, as he won't be able to do so for himself yet) and then taking it out when he relaxes.

You could try soothing him to sleep a little earlier. For example, if you see that he is getting miserable 2h after he last woke, then try settling him to sleep 1.5h after he wakes.

Don't worry about bad habits - it's early days yet.

Hayls · 04/10/2004 15:13

My dd did this as well and is now 8 months- I think she stopped it after a few months (but gradually before that IYSWIM) If you've got the time and pateince go with it as much as you can. ALso second the advice about dummy- it took my dd a while to get the hang of it but then she stopped comfort sucking from me.
Have you tried cranial osteopathy? It really did wonders for my dd when she was snacking all the time and hard to settle/stay asleep.

bakedpotato · 04/10/2004 15:25

nice firm swaddling? that made a big diff i vaguely remember

yingers74 · 04/10/2004 15:39

i agree with swaddling, this worked wonders on my dd when she was this age.

JoolsToo · 04/10/2004 15:43

just by chance this morning I was talking to a colleague who said her dd wouldn't drink formula milk and ended up bf till she was two .

I recommend you get a dummy for dropping off time! swaddling helps too!

dinosaur · 04/10/2004 16:05

Dinny, DS3 will drop off on me if I hold him on my chest so that he is next to my heart while wrapping him in a cellular blanket. He is getting a bit better at settling himself now (he is two months now) but for the first few weeks this was the only way he could get off to sleep.

Rhythmic patting on the back also helps.

Pidge · 04/10/2004 16:11

dinny - don't worry about it at this stage, it's totally normal. My dd would put herself to sleep by feeding, then we found other ways like rocking her in our arms or over a shoulder, or lying her on our chest. At about 2-3 months she would sometimes put herself to sleep if I got her into a drowsy state first (usually by feeding!). Since feeds are so frequent at that age I found it was the best way of getting her to drop off. It didn't result in bad habits - she later learned to go to sleep from being awake, with a bit of help from us!

muddaofsuburbia · 04/10/2004 16:22

JoolsToo - breastfeeding til age 2 is the current World Health Organisation's recommendations, so your colleague did brilliantly!

JoolsToo · 04/10/2004 16:25

mudda - thats as maybe - seems a bit excessive IMO!

Lonelymum · 04/10/2004 16:33

Don't stimulate him too much when you know he is tired. Swaddling works wonders (did the midwives do this when you were in hospital? It certainly made me realise my babies didn't need to be sucking to go to sleep) and putting him down in a quiet room also helps. But, basically, I agree with everyone else who says it is early days yet. Do whatever you have to to get him asleep as it is only then that you can rest (or go to the toilet, etc!)

Original poster

dinny · 04/10/2004 21:46

This is the first night ds is actually in his moses basket asleep at this time. Still fell asleep feeding but I had half swaddled him before feed (thank you!) and then put him down when asleep. He is just so alert and easily startled, bless him. If he's not feeding he is not happy. Have been carrying him in sling every time he needed a nap today. Just worried am going to have probs later on if he can't settle away from me but I suppose it is early days. I'd love to just have him on me all the time, sleeping/feeding/snuggling but just can't with a toddler around.

OP posts:

Flik · 04/10/2004 21:58

When I had dd2 I used to keep her with me all the time and take up to bed when I went justas I had done with dd1. I also had problems settling her, swadling wrap and dummy helped but still has most nights with hours of screaming. One night in frustation I put her upstairs in our room with lights off just so could eat dinner in peace and within 5 minutes she was asleep. It's been that way ever since. All the poor babe wanted was to go to bed proper!

dejags · 06/10/2004 08:46

Dinny - sorry haven't managed to post - been pretty busy

Tate is the same - he was awake for hours at night, there was no structure and he woke really easily.

I decided to take matters in hand on Sunday night. I fully swaddled him really tightly (DS1 says he looks like one of the early worms from Nick Jr ). He goes in his crib in a darkened room and is sleep MUCH MUCH better. He has stayed in his crib all night for two nights in a row and gone straight back to sleep after feeds. I am also making sure that he does the same bedtime routine as ds1 i.e. no sleep for 2 hours before bed, bath, massage, bottle and into boed. Seems to be working... might be worth a try?

Original poster

dinny · 08/10/2004 16:15

have tried to have bedtime routine and put him into bed swaddled but he goes mad. have let him cry for longer than am happy with (30 mins, going to him after 10, 20) - he gets louder and louder. finding it really hard to deal with him and dd. don't really know what to do next.
ps on a happy note, ds has started smiling - did it at the doctor today!!

OP posts:

zebra · 08/10/2004 16:59

Dinny -- we just settled our DSs into a bouncy chair or rocking car seat at night when they were this little, and then eased them into sleeping in a cot when a few months older. It's so early now, you still need to make you getting your sleep & rest a high priority, I wouldn't (personally) worry about long term, just go with a short term effective solution.

OT, but Personally, I'd be really proud if I ever could say I had breastfed one of mine for 2 yrs.

alfiebetty · 08/10/2004 17:15

Hi Dinny my DD is 10 weeks and has just started to fall asleep by self. Swaddling really worked for me, she used to fall asleep at breast but settles herself now, with her thumb actually. All babies are different, mine doesn't like to be in darkened room she needs a little light. As Zebra says its early days yet.

whatstheproblem · 08/10/2004 17:44

Apologies in advance for thread hijack dinny. Have changed my name.

I am so fed up with negative attitudes towards prolonged bf. Why? Why is it acceptable to feed cows milk through a bottle or cup to a 2 year old but not to bf them? Why is it anyone else's business what a 2 year old drinks before they go to bed?

I truly can't understand what's excessive about it.

hermykne · 08/10/2004 20:43

dinny my ds is now 10wks and was great at nodding off for his nights sleep, but over the past few days its been terrible with him, he starts his "tea" at 5 more at 6.30 (b/f) and then bath and more again and again,,,....
dh on hols so its ok as he can look after dd 2, but i am not looking forward to his return next week and i am on my own, i know what you mean about not being able to give him that snuggly time.
tongiht from 7pm to just now i hae been in to him 3 times and at 7.40 there was no milk left so dh went in 2 and both times hes out cold on his shoulder, heavy breathing, into his cot and bingo startles himself andawake again,
just let him cry this last put down out and he seems to have nodded off.
this is after a day of ,max, 1 hrs sleep broken up. so i have to get him back into a routine of going to sleep

jammydodger · 09/10/2004 03:49

Dinny,
thought I'd post some of the top tips i got from my hv re getting babies to sleep - i have a 10 week ds who until I got advice from the hv was feeding constantly (and consequently off the scale on the weight chart!) and not sleeping as he was overtired; my problem was i just couldn't bear to hear him cry or leave him to settle himself, so he needed my help with boob, etc..it was a nightmare, completely brought on myself! Anyway, the advice (which i think is suitable from any age) was:

feed, awake, sleep is a good routine! on a three hour cycle (roughly)
During the day, when ds has fed and then been awake for about 1.5 hrs altogether,look out for tired signs - these include grizzling, crying, jerky arm and leg movementsd, rubbing eyes, yawning, losing eye contact, ..when you see these, take baby to his room, awake, let him see you draw the blinds, then wrap him firmly and put him in his cot -
lie him on his side, put one hand on his shoulder/arm, and with the other pat his bum in a pulse-like rhythm. (Don't make eye-contact, otherwise this doesn't work) He will probably wail for while but as long as there are pauses in his crying for a few seconds, it's ok to just keep patting and holding - the pauses will gradually increase and before long his eyes will shut...
When his breathing is quiet and even, gradually take your hands away and leave the room. You may have to repeat this a few times, but it does work, feels much kinder than just leaving him to scream on his own, and the more you do it, the quicker he falls asleep. only works if he's tired though, so you have to watch carefully for tired signs and listen for pauses in crying... oh yeah, and you can turn him gently onto his back when he's asleep if you want, although this startles my ds awake, so hv recommended side sleeping, with a rolled up towel on each side to prevent rolling over. hope this helps, sorry is so long It just changed my life completely!

jammydodger · 09/10/2004 05:15

Actually, maybe three weeks is a bit young, possibly this could start from around 6 weeks??

Also, obviously during the night you don't do the awake bit! You can just feed and resettle straightaway, I was amazed how well this worked..

Sorry to go on about it (and probably isn't new to lots of people) but you know when you're sleep deprived and don't have a clue (like me a week ago) and then suddenly work it out (thanks to the HV), you want to tell the whole world!!!!

Original poster

dinny · 10/10/2004 10:13

thanks, jammydodger...am really going to try and put ds down for naps this`week. will definitely try your suggestions. thanks.

OP posts:

kbaby · 11/10/2004 11:46

its the baby whisperers method. might be worth you getting the book as there is loads of helpful things in there

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