How to stop bouncing to sleep?

[Mamabear04]

My HV said that I need to find another way of getting my 3 month old to sleep other than rocking or bouncing on an exercise ball but this is the ONLY way I know how to get her to nap during the day and as a result she will only sleep for 30-40 mins at a time. She's over tired and I feel broken. Please can someone tell me other ways to get her to sleep?!

Absolutely no practical advice from me as I’m currently sat rocking my almost 15 week old baby to sleep so you are not alone!
Think the ‘put them down to sleep drowsy but not asleep’ nonsense must only work for a handful of babies!
I know some friends who use white noise, dummies etc but most new mums (like me) that I know do rocking and cuddling!

Here's what worked with mine, for what it's worth:

Milk before nap time- sleepy effect
White noise (quiet radio 4 or quiet static/ wave noises/ rain noises from YouTube or an app)
Swaddle when tiny, zipped into sleeping bag when bigger to stop them sticking legs through cot bars and freaking out
Push them around in the pram til they doze off then park up the pram and leave them asleep in it
When really tiny/ poorly let them fall asleep on you and you watch Netflix

Good luck

I did the whole yoga ball thing with my first. Ridiculous, looking back, it hurt my back so much. Ended up just holding him sitting on the bed jiggling my knee side to side so there was some movement, it's what I did with my second too, still am at 2yrs. They will probably cry when there is a change but as long as you're comforting them you'll find something that works.
Hate that you feel your HV has told you you must change this. Way to knock a new mother's confidence. You change it if you want to, it's your baby.

What’s wrong with rocking to sleep? I’ve done it with all 3 of
Mine until they were 12-14 months. Then I’ve laid down with them til they fall asleep. All brilliant sleepers now.
Rocking/cuddling/feeding babies to sleep is all normal until they are older in my experience. I’d ignore the health visitor personally! There’s a reason people rock babies - it works!!

Only change it if you feel it’s a problem - what’s the night sleeping like? For what it’s worth, we did some gentle sleep training with the help of a sleep consultant when DS1 was 7 months old, as he would only be bounced or fed to sleep (and would then wake up 45 minutes later day and night...). Over the course of around 3 weeks, we went from vigorous bouncing, to gentle bouncing, to holding him in arms but not moving, to lying down with him in our arms, to him in his cot but with a hand on his back, to sitting by the side of the cot. There was a bit of crying at each stage, but nothing unmanageable and by the end of three weeks or so we had totally transformed how he went to sleep. But that was at 6 months so obviously a bit older than your DC, and we did that at the same time as moving him into his own room etc.

What a ridiculous thing for your HV to say. You don't see 18 year olds being bounced to sleep! Babies grow out of it. Unless DS (nearly 6 months) naps in his pram, we bounce him to sleep for all of his naps. He's happy and it makes our life easier.

Thanks for all your tips/encouragement/sympathy -really appreciate it!

My HV said that the reason my DD will wake up after 30-40 mins is because she wakes up when she realises she's not being rocked or bounced. Today I had to drive 2.5 hours and on the way back LO still woke up after 30 minutes even with the motion of the car so I don't understand why she suggested this. If I'm honest I would like to stop having to bounce her on the exercise because my back is killing me and my core strength has not returned and I'm still a bit sore from the c-section. It just doesn't seem possible and it sounds like it's what most people do anyway!

God, HVs talk rubbish sometimes don't they? 30-40 mins is entirely normal for a nap; I think that's the length of a sleep cycle at that age. Very rarely, my baby will string two together but you can pretty much set your watch by him waking up at a certain point whether he's still being bounced or not.

I moved to a poing armchair and bounced him to sleep for months with my back supported. The only other way he would nap was if we both lay on the double bed (duvet folded away) and I kept a gentle hand on him . Babies get overtired and cry, then they grow up.

I would get my book, a snack and a bottle of water next to the chair before naptime and let him nap on my shoulder a lot of the time. It worked. We were both happy.

FWIW my DS now 5mo has only just got out of the habit of being rocked to sleep whilst standing for final sleep at night. He knows when you sit down!! Have started laying him down next to me, holding his hand and he falls asleep.
Day time has to be rocked/patted to sleep.

Only just started in the last week or so getting hour long naps out of him.

Do what works for you and your baby. They won't be babies forever, enjoy it whilst they still want cuddles.

Currently still bouncing my 5 month old to sleep with the yoga ball for all naps and in the evening for sleep - unless we are out and she falls asleep in the pram. Your HV probably hasn’t had a high needs sleep fighting baby, or she definitely wouldn’t give that advice.... I was about to try and “wean” from the ball but baby’s just had 2 teeth pop through so going to leave it a few weeks now and try a really slow regression of gently bouncing until she’s sleepy then stopping, and repeating the process until she sleeps - am expecting tears though!

Ok so I'm going to disregard what the HV said for now! It seems like the best thing is to do what works and slowly phase it out. I'm so glad to hear all your experiences because I felt totally deflated with the HV's advice and it just seems impossible not to rock or bounce her!!!

Is 30 minute napping very normal for 3mo? It's such hard work getting her to nap during the day. Today I managed to get her to sleep on me in the morning but then walked her in the pram for the next 3 naps because my back couldn't take it - all of which only lasted 30 minutes. It's driving me nuts trying to get her enough sleep. She's pretty good at sleeping during the night - between 4 and 6 hour stretches and is in her cot for 12 hours. It doesn't make sense that she can't sleep during the day! Any advice?

Your HV is talking bollocks. Next she'll be telling you to "teach them to self settle" "leave to them cry".

Mine was crap at naps in the day at first but always slept well at night... All depends on the child.

@2020vision10 she has already said this to me!!! It's so frustrating with advice like that!!! How did you encouragement your LO to nap better?

Have you got a sling or baby carrier? I use mine loads to get my 8mo to sleep if feeding her doesn't work. I have to go upstairs and have curtains/doors closed so it's a bit dark then walk around in a bouncy sort of way, patting her bum. She usually drops off in 5-10 mins, then I can go and enjoy some catch-up TV til she wakes up (naps usually 45 mins but sometimes 20-something mins, 1hr or 1hr30).

I do need to work on putting her down when she's asleep because she has to go to nursery in a few months, but for now I just enjoy the snuggles and a bit of chill out time for me - housework can wait!

My LO naps longer in the day now, but only if he's held. I have a poddle pod which if I am lucky he will sleep in for around 30 mins max. I still have to hold him, rock him to sleep for his nap.

I haven't seen my HV since baby was 6wo. She was nice enough. Just eager to push me to contact HV team if I needed anything.

Just follow your instincts, you know your baby best. I am trying now to get baby back in his cot at night time as opposed to cosleeping. But truthfully, I enjoy cosleeping so much. Only downside is my DH is in a separate room.

We had an amby nest hammock thing for dd and it was amazing for this.
She was swaddled up and then I would gently rock her off to sleep and then if she woke up, the wiggling just would rock her back off to sleep again.
It was a life saver.

Oh dear... She certainly shouldn't be advising that at all, especially that young! Your child is still in the 4th trimester. Sorry that she's given you such poor advice.

Unfortunately I haven't got an easy answer, it's a case of finding what works for you all.

With mine I sort of started a relaxed routine, at that age I tried to make sure she wasn't awake for more than a few hours so she didn't get overtired, would often feed to sleep, rubbing gently between her eyes and nose seemed to help settle her. Sometimes we rocked, sshed etc whatever she needed at the time. White noise also helped a lot as it's calming. She would often fight naps as she didn't want to miss out, was certainly an alert baby lol

It gradually got better and easier as we found what worked for her... Nap times became a lot less stressful, we went with the flow, especially as she got older and had to nap less. She's 21 months now and rarely naps now but that's just her. Still sleeps great at night thankfully.

I think one of the main things is, to try not to stress about it (easier said than done), and don't be afraid of doing whatever they need at the time... I was so afraid of "making a rod for your own back" but realised that it's not the case, your just doing what your child needs at the time.

If you're on Facebook I highly recommend The Beyond Sleep Training Project group... Full of supportive Mums with loads of tips and advice.

I haven’t RTFT but for mine, I rocked/bounced to sleep all the way until he was about 16 weeks (maybe a bit longer). He was also napping on me this whole time too

So what I did was:

Bounced/rocked in our room, then let him sleep on me while I lay on our bed
Then
Bounced/rocked in our room, he’d fall asleep and I’d then roll him off me onto our bed but stayed with him
Then
Let him fall asleep next to me on our bed

This got him used to sleeping near me but not on me for naps (he never needed any of this for nights, only ever naps)

And then when he was over 6ms, I put him in his cot in his room and rubbed his back while he went to sleep