8 month old sleep problems!

[GeorgesMama91]

Hi all,

I'm new here but feel I'm at the end of my tether. My baby boy is 8 months old, up until about 6 weeks ago he was sleeping fairly well and sometimes all the night through in his next to me crib beside my bed. He's a big boy and very long so hes outgrown that and he was Waking himself up rustling the sides if it. Just before Christmas my husband had a car accident so slept on the sofa as it was more comfortable for him. For sake of ease I let my boy sleep in bed with me. Bam - he slept the whole night through with no feed and minimal stirring. I had weeks of uninterrupted sleep and it was great.

Fast forward to now and hubby is back in bed, tried to cosleep with the 3 of us but it just doesn't work as we are paranoid about him being in the bed. His cot is in his own room so I've been trying to get him to sleep in there. At first he was waking within half an hour but that's now stopped. I put him down around 730 after feeding him in his rocking chair and he goes in the cot once asleep. Tends to wake about 1030 I go in and give him his dummy and he normally goes back to sleep. It's the 2nd waking between 12 and 2 that's killing me. He will not settle back in his cot at this time. I pat and ssshhhh him first to try to avoid taking him out but that doesn't work so I take him out for a cuddle but each time I try to put him back he has none of it. I normally try to put him back about 5 or 6 times. He will be fast asleep on me but as soon as he hits that cot he just knows it!

It normally results in ms bringing him downstairs and then he falls asleep on the sofa but I'm wide awake and my day has begun from 2am again!

What am I doing wrong? Is he just too young to be in his cot in a separate room? My bedroom isn't really big enough to have the cot in there. It doesn't help that hubby has to be up early for work so I'm paranoid about him waking when the baby does.

I feel like a failure when other mums say their babies were great going into their cots and the whole family slept better for it. I have tried a few times leaving him to cry but if just doesn't feel right!!

I work from home so although I can do this in PJS if needed the lack of sleep affects my day and mood! I also can't just go back to sleep from 5 til 8 either with him as I could if I wasn't working and I did whilst on mat leave.

I'm hoping someone here can help, sorry for the long post but wanted you all to understand the situation fully.

Thanks! Tired Mama x

I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong!

Sounds totally normal and also probably linked to the 8 month sleep regression.

I found it all really stressful with dd.... every time I thought we’d cracked sleep, her routine would change again!

Ds is 8 months now and waking twice a night again (minimum) and it’s tiring. But I’m going with the flow this time and telling myself “it’s just a phase”.

Hi OP, my baby boy is also just over 8 months. Up until Christmas we mostly co-Slept and he rarely slept in his next to me (total waste of money!) But he was feeding all through the night and absolutely could not settle himself to sleep.
However he became very mobile and co-sleeping stopped working for us altogether so we took the plunge and made the switch to the big cot in his own room. At first it was awful and he cried and would not settle, also multiple wake ups through the night.

Fast forward 2 weeks and now he goes down with no issues, goes to sleep himself and mostly sleeps through the night, with possibly one wake up for a feed, but then straight back down and stays till morning.
This is what we did (after reading Lucy Wolfe Sleep Solution):

1: feeding: make sure he eats plenty of food during the day, dinner at 5pm with lots of meat protein (I blend chicken). Then play. Then last milk feed at 6pm (I breastfeed). It's important that the last feed is at least 45 mins before bedtime so there are no sleep associations.

2: bedtime routine. After last milk feed he plays for another 10 mins then we do a bath for 5-10 mins. Change for bed and some nursery rhymes and a quick book. Then I do lots of kisses and gently lay him down and pat/rub for a few minutes. From getting in bath to putting down is about 30 mins total.

As I said it used to be awful, at first it took lots of shh-pats. We had to resist picking him up. He would sometimes get hysterical and I would hug him in cot. Very occasionally I would pick up. But then put back down awake. It was tough. But they have to learn to self settle and this means minimal input from you.

It's crucial that you be extremely consistent. You have to do this all night. Yes give him a feed if it's needed but keep him awake and put him back in cot awake. Even if he cries just do the same settling techniques. He WILL get the hang of it. Don't give up.

Read Lucy Wolfe. Her book totally worked for us. Good luck!

He is still quite little, are you sure his not just hungry? Have you tried feeding him?

P.s. it will probably get worse before it gets better. Don't be discouraged. That means it's working.

I would make sure you stick to a bedtime routine. Bath, book, feed. I normally do this in my bedroom then carry baby into own room.

Then between you and husband decide on a consistent sleep training method for when he wakes (pick up put down/ gradual retreat).

Also make sure naps in the day are happening in the cot using the same sleep training method. Highly recommend a black out curtain and a white noise machine too so you are setting the scene for sleep.

My DS is the same age and we have just moved from co-sleeping to his own cot in own room and the transition for us has been quite easy (I was running on empty before with wakes every two hours) I believe it's because we had a sleep training plan and have been consistent.

Are you actually ready for him to be in his own room? If you were enjoying the co sleeping and felt you were getting quality sleep why not ask husband to continue sleeping in spare room/ sofa for a little while longer (if he doesn't mind). Then get round to the transition when you feel comfortable.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I was so tired over the weekend and feeling guilty we moved his.cot into our ro but left one side off so now it's like a larger version of a next to me and basically am extension to our bed. I felt really hopeful that he would sleep well but now he seems to be extremely clingy. During the day he always wants to be on you and gets a little irritable if he can't be. Then during the night I'm noticing he rolls onto his side and reaches out for me. I leave a comforter there for him so he has something's Ng to grab onto but once I'm in bed he really does still try and grab for me and seems to be stirring alot more now. I have no idea what to do! It makes me feel so upset seeing h so desperate to be bear to be near to me as it's just natural to want to cuddle him close. Is this normal for his age? Xx

PS I also thought I was feeding.him enough food during the day. Can anyone share how much food they're giving their little ones at this age and what types of meals they are please for comparison. Currently downstairs with him clinging onto me like a koala.bear sleeping 🙈 thanks all xx

Currently up with my 8 and a half monther for the 3rd time isn't it fun! You're not alone xx

Completely normal. My 8mo has done this every single night since he was born. Never slept through or for longer than about 3 hours. It won't last that long.

@gemwhitt, sorry to hijack, but does the Lucy Wolfe book deal with babies with reflux at all? My DD has mostly silent reflux and really struggles at night, I'd like to start putting in place some methods to help her sleep better (mostly because she's shattered, never mind the rest of us!) but obviously some of the usual techniques just don't work on a distressed refluxy baby.

Breakfast: milk feed (bf) on wake up then porridge with mashed banana.

Mid morn: formula

Lunch cucumber, raspberries, blueberries, greek yoghurt and toast with Philly. Milk feed after.

Tea: pasta with tomato sauce and veggies. Formula.

After bath: milk feed before bed.

Baby will naturally drop milk feeds as food takes over, I'm sure he would give you the signal if still hungry.

I think if you are not ready to commit him to a cot in his own room that is okay, you have to be ready too but if you want the sleep you have to stand by the move.

He will know his mummy is still there for him as long as you go to fetch him for a feed or cuddle in the night if he cries. A bit of sleep training or being put in his own room is not going to have any negative impact on him at all I promise. Also make sure you have a good quality monitor and you can always glance across to check him when you wake and will always hear him.

I hope it's getting better for you.

@GeorgesMama91 Hi OP - I know this was like 2 years ago lmao but did you ever find a solution? Your post sounds exactly like my nearly 8 month old right now! I appreciate it was yonks ago but if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel I’d love to know 😊