Bedtime/napping solo?

[ReallyLilyReally]

I had the absolute fear of god put into me (and several hours of sobbing, lets be honest) by MNers when i asked if it would be OK to put my baby in her own room as she can sleep through but we all wake each other up breathing/shuffling etc... so she's still in with us.

The issue I'm now having is that she naps for 1-2 hours twice a day, and goes down to sleep 8-8, all in her cot in our room. I'd like to be able to get things done in that time/have an evening with my husband, but if she needs us breathing to regulate her breathing, should i be staying in the room with her while she sleeps?

How old is she? My kids slept in their own rooms from day one, as we didn't have this six months sleep in the same room recommendation, so I would say it's fine. Maybe ask your health visitor (I never had one due to chronic shortages but went to the local clinic).

How old is she OP? Answer is that she should nap where you are, it can be difficult I know. I’ve got one that only Naps on me anyway, so not something I’ve had to decide!

She's 12 weeks, and only really sleeps in her crib or on me, doesnt like the moses basket at all.

I used to leave mine in the pram in the garden for daytime naps and popped out every 5 minutes to check, it was summer. He had a dummy, was full term and a big baby. I was happy with him napping outside but not in the car seat or alone at all night. I think you just have to decide what level of risk you are comfortable with.
He's still in my room at 2 at night !

It’s up you what level of risk you are happy to take with your child. Alternatives include getting her to nap in the buggy in the hall way or travel cot while you potter around. The same for evenings and you can just take her up to bed when you go to bed.

@selfsettling3 I'd do that but surely she can't hear me breathing if im doing the washing up or hoovering or if the TV is on? Should i just be sitting by her?

Just writing this out makes me feel like I'm a paranoid lunatic but when i asked about letting her sleep in her own room i was basically told i shouldnt have had children if i was just going to risk her dying for my own convenience and now im really scared to leave her by herself.

The guidelines state that babies shouldn't be left to sleep alone before the age of 6 months. This includes napping. This is to guard against baby falling into a very deep sleep where (the thinking is) they may suffer apnoea (basically forget to breathe).

Whether you follow the guidelines is up to you and how much risk you're happy with.

@lumpy76 what constitutes "alone"?

In a different room from a caregiver/adult/human = alone

With mine, at that age I used to have them nap downstairs with me doing jobs in the same room during the day and evening and then take them to bed when I went up.

So it doesn't matter if she can't hear me breathing?

We used to put DD in the carrycot of the pram in the living room for naps and until we went up to bed when she was little. That's honestly fine. You can't be sat next to them 24/7 so don't feel bad. Stick to sleeping in the same room overnight and keeping them downstairs with you until you go to bed but if they're in the moses basket in the living room at 8pm you're allowed to do the washing up in the kitchen. If you've got lots of worries speak to your health visitor about the evidence behind SIDS prevention and the rationale but honestly leaving them alone for half an hour in the other room is fine. You're doing great x

Your baby sleeps great! You are blessed! Shame on all the terrible people who judge other people’s parenting and think they are better than everyone else!

You have to do what rests well with you. I personally always put my baby down for naps, since birth and would often be in the same room but other times not, checking on baby regularly. I loved having baby sleeping in same room but we reached the problem at just over 3 months baby didn’t have any room left in Moses basket and cot had been pre built baby’s room and wouldn’t fit out door. After much deliberation and guilt I decided to try baby in cot in own room. Spent the first few nights barely sleeping, stuck to baby monitor but unlike me baby slept well. It’s entirely your decision. Do what’s best for you x