12 month old 4:30 wake ups

[DizzyR]

My 12 month old has been getting up anywhere between 4:30-5:30 for the past 2.5 months now and I’m completely desperate and don’t know what to do.

At around 10.5 months, we thought he might be dropping naps as he was fighting the afternoon nap so we would put him to sleep at about 11:30 and he’d sleep for 2-3hrs. This worked and gave us 6:30 wake ups for about a week but stopped working. Also, he was getting really tired by about 10/11am so we would put down for a nap between then and he would sleep for around 2-3hrs.

A typical day is like this:

4:30-5:30 wake up

Between 10-11 am down for first nap

Between 12:50-2pm wake up then lunch

Between 6-7pm bed.

Anywhere Between 12:30am - 2am wake for a feed then go back to sleep (roughly 20 mins)

He is ebf and puts himself to sleep at night and for naps but I feed him to drowsy when he wakes in the middle of the night.

Bed time will depend on when he wakes from his Mid morning nap so if he wakes early we will put him to bed as close to 6 as possible.

Last night he was asleep by 6:15pm and woke up at 12:30, fed him for 20mins then he woke at 4:40 and wouldn’t go back to sleep. I tried feeding him then leaving him but he Screamed hysterically.

Yesterday he woke up at 5:30am but I left him babbling in his cot until 6:30am. I will do this if he isn’t screaming/distressed but this happens very rarely.

His room is pitch black, the house is warm at 21 degrees, no noise disturbance. He has a massive dinner (usually pasta and meat or fish) before bed and milk.

He’s been so grumpy these past 2.5 months it’s almost unbearable and I’m really looking forward to having a break at work when I go back.

Is he overtired? I can’t get him to nap x2 a day anymore. A friend suggested a 15 min nap at 9am but he just won’t sleep at this time in his cot or buggy or sling (both used to work) and will only sleepy roughly 5hrs after wAke up. He has only slept in until 7am when he had a cold.

I have tried to stop feeding in the middle of the night but every time I have tried to attempt this he has either had a cold or fever from the jabs etc. He’s started settling with the childminder and I feel bad for stopping feeding in the middle of the night.

How do I fix this? Any advice would be much appreciated as I just can’t cope anymore. He’s got a settling in session at the Childminder’s today and I am really looking forward to getting Some rest.

Ps a tooth popped out last week but we’ve been giving neurofen and teething gel

Update - got him to nap for 30 mins at 8am in the buggy. Will see if this makes a difference to the rest of the day.

Just have zero idea how to make things better for him and us

Didn't want to read and run but also can't offer much help as my DC is only 5.5m

BUT I know there is a big sleep regression at 12m so perhaps it is this? It sounds like you're doing all the 'right' things in terms of food and nap times too.

It sounds horrible so for you and I really hope it passes quickly

Thank you for your kind words @Biscuitsandteaplease hopefully the early wake ups will pass soon!

That's quite a long nap - if he's getting 2/3 hours in the day and then going to bed at 6/7 then by 4.30 he's potentially had 13 hours of sleep, which isn't far off the average of 14 hours for a 12 month old. I would try waking him from his nap after 90 minutes maximum, he will probably be grumpy about it but it's worth a try...

My 15 month old is the same, he has always been a bad sleeper but he likes to wake at 5 every morning. Recently though he has been waking at 2-3 as well. Only has one nap between 1-2 hours at about 10am. Exhausted. You're not alone x

My dd did this from 8 months for a whole year. I tried everything and nothing worked until I put her in a bed. Stopped overnight, she never woke before 6 again. Wonder if she wasn't cosy enough in the sleeping bag and cot. I used the foam barriers to stop her falling out.

@superking thank you will give this a go over the weekend but I’m not sure this is it as on Wednesday he only slept for 30 mins at the Childminder’s and was up at 5am, and same on Thursday when he woke at 5:30am. He slept for 2.45hrs yesterday, went to bed at 7am and woke up at 5:18am this morning arggghhh. Slightly better than 4am I guess.

@binkyblinky oh it’s so tough isn’t it. Don’t know how I’m going to cope at work with the early wake ups.

@zombielady did you put your LO in a bed at 20
Months? Did you try sleep training?

Morning 👋

My ds1 did something similar for a few months around the same age.

I mixed up his routine and then went full sleep training mode with him, I know it's not for everyone, but it really helped us. I need a template to work to or it can all get a bit overwhelming!

Any way, our day was as follows...

7/7:30 Wake/breakfast
09:00 - 10:30 nap
11:30/12:00 lunch
14:00 - 15:30 nap
07:00 bed

In the beginning it was difficult to enforce the naps and I would give him a little bottle and sit with him before putting him in his room, same conditions as bedtime, dark, quiet etc. but he gradually got used to it and now tries to climb in to his cot at those times!

There were also tears but remember it's for the greater good. A well rested child can enjoy the time when they're awake!

Not sure exactly, but it was around 20 months. Sleep training was difficult as she shared a room with her autistic brother. I thought she might be too little but after reading many threads about moving from cot to bed I gave it a go. Could've just been coincidence. God, it was a tough year, you have my sympathies.

It's the sleep regression Trust me we've just been through it. Absolutely awful. Feel for you. Hang on in there it'll get better.

Thanks guys, the 4am wake ups are still going strong. Today it was 4:40 I waited for 5 mins before going in and trying to feed him to sleep. I fed him for 20 mins the put him back down but he immediately started crying. I just left him in his cot in the end and he cried for about 12 mins before lying down. I don’t think he was asleep during this period. He stood back up again at about 5:50 so had about 20 mins of lying down. I’m just going to leave him in the cot to see if he’ll go back to sleep as he keeps rubbing his eyes.

@SamHems this sounds ideal but DS is now at the Childminder’s 3 days a week so I don’t think we’ll be able to achieve any consistency with the routine now. Also, he just doesn’t seem to want the second nap, even when we take him out in the buggy.

This is just torture, especially now I’m back at work. I just don’t know where he gets the energy from to get through the day.

Part of me is tempted to stop feeding when he wakes and wait until 6am to feed him but I just feel so bad because I think what if he is hungry or thirsty?

It is so tough knowing what to do and I feel like I’m a bit all over the place with my response to him.

Really hoping this regression stops soon. I do feel like the past year has been a massive sleep regression (mainly for me ha!)

We found that bed before 7pm gave us too early wake ups. Plus if the nap is rubbish (nursery is usually under an hour - one nap) we're in for a bad night or early wake! My little girl is a little older at 14 months, but at 12 months we dropped to one nap, it roughly looks like:
6.30-7am wake (recently this has been 5.30-6am though!)
Nap 11.30/12 until 1.30ish
Bed 7-7.30.

Even if she's up before 1 we don't do bed earlier than 7.

When she was younger I read Precious little sleep - it was useful! I don't particularly like any sleep books as we just kind of winged it with feeding to sleep etc, but we're lucky to have a child that isn't bad at sleeping. My sister used the book like a bible and swore by it!

I wouldn't worry about feeding to sleep in the night, I try not to feed to sleep for naps and the initial sleep for bed but I still do in the night as it's a way of getting her back to sleep quicker! She does settle fine for her dad too though!

My 13 month old is the same, but I can’t say it’s the regression as he’s been doing it for months.
We have a different daytime routine to you. He’s up at 5, naps 9.30-10 then naps 1-2.30. Have tried moving first nap/dropping first nap/shortening first nap/shortening second nap/earlier bedtime/later bedtime. He still gets up at 5am.
Actually one day he woke at 7.30am, but that was because he was awake from 1am and didn’t go back to sleep until 6.30am so don’t fancy making a habit of that!

My oldest two always had a 7-7 routine (with night wakings, but their natural ‘up for the day’ time was 7am) so it’s a bit of a shock to the system.