8 month old still feeds to sleep.

[Mumsybear1]

I need some help/advice on getting my DD to sleep, the health visitor said she shouldn't be feeding to sleep and I should be putting her to sleep awake so she can self sooth. I have tried this a couple of times and when I do she starts off very sleepy, eyes closing, yawning etc and when I put her down its like poof wide awake! She will then be wide awake for hours until she gets tired again. I think she can self sooth because sometimes she will awaken from nap but I usually wait until she cries before I go to her, occasionally she will just lie there and eventually falls back to sleep. She also falls asleep in the pram and car if she's tired but she will not go down for a nap or bedtime without feeding. She also is on three meals day so I don't think she's hungry. Do I need to keep trying putting her to sleep without feeding or just go with it for an easy life?

I would personally ignore the health visitor. She will grow out of it when she’s ready and until then why make life any harder.

I really stressed with dd about feeding to sleep and putting down drowsy but awake.... it was a nightmare and bedtime took 3 times as long! We were both miserable.

With ds I’m just following his lead and doing whatever works and it’s far less stressful and more enjoyable.

My daughter is 18 months and still has a bottle at night to get her to sleep don't see anything wrong with it🤷🏻‍♀️

Agree with ignore health visitor.

Mine all fed to sleep. One kept it up til 2.5yrs but then was easy to reason with, and stopped over night and has never mucked around at bedtime - just happily accepted that milk was no longer an option and lay down to sleep.
My shortest feeder yet stopped feeding to sleep about 13 months old, and needs a bit more in terms of patting/ cuddles, but doesn't and never did scream or fuss at bedtime. And now we can share the job, as boobs aren't vital to the routine..! He decided himself to stop feeding to sleep. Just shook his head and lay his head on my chest one night.
Youngest still sustained and put to sleep by me (!), so will be interested to see what they do.

It works, it's easy, it's pretty normal (unless you ask a health visitor...), and I'm frankly too lazy to fight with my kids over something so easy. I get to sit in a dark room and read mumsnet as part of bedtime routine - why would anyone not choose that?! ;)

I think your health visitor's advice borders on inappropriate because there is no "should" around things like feeding to sleep. It's perfectly normal and there's nothing wrong with it. Of course you are also free to try and change it if that would suit you. But the health visitor role is really to support you in your choices, not be prescrptive. (Except with a few obvious things like tooth brushing!)

Totally ignore the hv. It's fine!

I had this problem with health visitors - they tried to make me feel bad for just doing what cane naturally.

I learnt to ignore them in the end and 'still' breastfed my baby to sleep well beyond one. He is a very happy and independent little guy who is a great sleeper and is capable of self-soothing should the need arise e.g if he wakes up in the middle of the night (although if he cries I go straight in every time) - something health visitors promised me would be 'impossible' if I continued to feed to sleep!

Follow your instincts

I would not worry at 8months. I had to change our routine from breastfeeding to sleep very reluctantly because I started giving a formula bottle in the evening and my sons teeth came through..and I needed to start brushing his teeth. Ideally you need to leave 40mins between food/drink and teeth brushing so I had to bring milk forward. Right pain in the arse.
I got very stressed about my son learning to nap by himself at 7months so I get the pressure. But looking back I wonder why I cared... he was a tiny baby.

I spent a week or so teaching baby to self settle without a feed, thinking that it would encourage him to wake less at night. It made absolutely no difference to night wakings and I wonder why I bothered!

I wouldn’t worry about it for now. She’s still very tiny, and I’m a big fan of doing whatever works for you as long as it works for you. I was still feeding my DD to sleep until very recently, and often still do for naps. I like it. I like the cuddles and enforced quiet time. It happens that her overnight sleep was becoming very difficult and my husband suggested I have a night in a hotel so I could get some rest. He had to put her to bed for the first time at 12.5 months and it went really well, so we’ve now swapped roles in the evenings. It also means he’s more able to settle her overnight, which means I’m getting a little more rest. But we only did this because what we had been doing wasn’t working for us anymore. Don’t worry about what the HV says: do what is right for you and your DD until it isn’t right for you anymore.

Last week a HV told me I SHOULD feed my baby to sleep. There is no right or wrong answer to this. If it’s working for you both for the time being I wouldn’t worry.

Another one saying ignore your hv on this occasion. My DD bf to sleep until she was 22 months 🤷‍♀️ one day she will fall asleep cuddling you and that will be your new routine. DD is 3 now and goes to sleep in her own bed with a story.

We were the same (till very recently 15 months) the best way we found was my husband rocking him to sleep to stop taking the boob as the only way to fall asleep. Now he isn’t that interested in the boob and I can now rock him to sleep and then put him down. Will move onto self settling soon as for now he is going 7.30-5.30. Do whatever is right for you as a family and ignore HV

Go for whatever works for you. The baby will do better if you feel balanced so follow your instincts. In time and she will get more active and it will probably be less of a problem.

Thank you! Hearing all of your comments makes me feel a lot better! I really thought I was going wrong by feeding to sleep but I do enjoy it and she settles a lot better.

Feeding to sleep is absolutely fine. It's completely natural and a lovely bedtime routine.

I remember when mine grew out of feeding to sleep. I was quite sad about that. We moved on to other bedtime routines but the feeding to sleep had been so easy and cuddly that I missed it. Enjoy this time with your baby and do what works best for you.

My daughter is just 15 months and still feeds to sleep. Honestly, I'm pleased that she does as bedtimes aren't a fight. I love that we get to say goodnight by cuddling and her feeling secure and full. I had huge mum guilt about it for months and even posted on here around 8months and got the same resounding "it's ok" message.
Easy to say, I know, but it won't last forever so enjoy while you can I guess!

What's wrong with feeding to sleep? My daughter did until she was nearly 2. We had a few tricky nights when we did the transition but quite quickly she got the idea and now goes off to sleep by herself with absolutely no problem.

Another vote for ignore the health visitor! Have kids and all fed to sleep/no longer feed to sleep now. No issues, just happier bedtime, happier babies/mum!

Lord knows what your health visitor would think of me. Still feeding to sleep here at 11.5 months and did again every time she woke last night (which was pretty much every hour 🙄)

My first was about 18 months before we stopped feeding to sleep. And still going strong at 11 months with the second.

Agree to ignore HV. My 10 month old still feeds to sleep, I attempted self settling one night & gave up. I figure she will stop when she is ready :-)

I’m having the same worry but with my 12 week old. Someone has scared the living day light out of me with the 4 month regression saying I will end up being up all night again having to feed through the awakenings.
I have found feeding her to sleep is the only way at night and using the pram to encourage sleep in the day. I’m having to do it for my own sanity and her health as otherwise she gets overtired.

the health visitor said she shouldn't be feeding to sleep and I should be putting her to sleep awake so she can self sooth
Your HV lives in La La land
Ignore her

I also did it until he was 2 and now he self soothes and it is a dream.
Looking back I am happy I did it before he grew too old to want mummy cuddles all the time.

Lets be realistic here. Of course there is no right and wrong so maybe the HV didnt put it very well. The issues are not whether you breast feed to sleep, but whether that creates a problem. If all is hunky dory thats fine and is unlikely to be mentioned to the HV. It only is an issue if, and it often does, create sleep difficulties and night wakings. All babies disturb in the night and if they cannot nod off again without a breast feed, the up you get. Here is the nub, is it a problem or not?
If you have asked the HV about frequent night wakings and broken nights at 8 months, she will quite rightly ask you about your settling , and breast feeding to sleep. You decide. It is only a bad idea to breast feed to sleep if there are sleep difficulties. This should be the basis of your converstaion. A good health visitor wants a working relationship with you, not just telling you what to do. You wont help this by following the "ignore the health visitor" advice, more people telling you what to do! I mean this lightly. Talk to your HV if you have concerns, and tell her if you do not. Work together and you will get more out of the relationship. The HV does not live in La La land that is very rude. It is evidenced based sleep knowledge. If you baby is sleeping, no problem, carry on