Putting two to bed

[MerryDeath]

How the fuck am i supposed to do this?

does everyone rely on having another parent on hand to divide and conquer? my DH works away and I'm trying to do my first bedtime with DS (2.5 - normally excellent at bedtime) and DS2 (2 weeks - quite sleepy generally) and having some story with both of them i then put the lights out and tried to sing for DS1.. baby brother just screamed. so i had to tell DS1 id come back once i'd put the baby to bed (expecting him to go to sleep once i left the room as usual) but instead he's screaming his head off and baby brother seems to have settled in for a super long BF session

FUCK. bedtimes are normally such a chilled happy time with DS1. what have i done

I have a 3 year old and a newborn. DC1 demands I’m in the room (in bed if possible) until falls asleep. If the baby isn’t napping at the time (still on late bedtime) I take the baby in with me and feed in a chair until DC1 falls asleep.

Mine are a bit older than yours but same age gap. Probably terrible parenting on my part but the only way I cope now is by giving the older one the tv/ipad to keep them busy while I get the youngest to sleep. In the early days I would BF the baby to sleep on my bed before then moving them into the moses basket, with the 2.5 year old quietly sat beside me so they didn't feel left out - them either reading a book or quietly watching something on my phone.
It's tricky though, you have my sympathies!

This is something I'm dreading as my DC1 likes to be cuddled to sleep. His brother or sister is due any day now.

I'd not bother with putting the 2 week old to be tbh.

My husband works evenings bedtime left to me. When youngest was a newborn my toddler had same bedtime routine as always, bath, story, kiss and cuddle and bed. The baby just came with me. A few times my toddler kind or complained when i took the baby out the room, as if to say why isn't he going to bed? I used to just say he is going to bed in the other room and toddler would settle. Think the key is to keep everything the same for the oldest one and the baby just comes with

@Kelsoooo not really putting him to bed rather more telling the 2.5 yo I'm putting him to bed then just taking him around with me. I'm hoping if he joins in with bedtime routine though it will be an easier (although very successful!) battle than it was with his brother!

@Strangerthingshere that's what i was planning but if they are both going to freak out about it all order goes out the window 😰

At that age I'd put DD1 to bed in our bed and sit next to her feeding DD2. Or feed DD2 in the rocking chair in dd1's room. Either way, all in the same room until the eldest is asleep then sort out the baby.

I have an 18 month gap between my two so when my newborn came along. I put newborn on my chest and toddler cuddled next to me until he fell asleep. My DH is away a lot so I do all bedtimes on my own. Now my children are 2.5 and 1 and I still lie on bed with both and they both fall asleep. 😊 It gets easy after a while. We read a book then have s snuggle then I transfer 1 year old to cot.

I get that, sorry my response probably wasnt particularly helpful. 2 weeks is early days, just keep persevering. I had a couple of tougher evenings in the beginning but we soon settled into the routine and your toddler will adjust. I did keep my toddler up later a few times or went to bed earlier to make sure I avoided feeding time for the baby

It's tough! I tried to get baby to sleep in the baby carrier then did toddler bath and into bed and sat on the bed until she fell asleep. If baby wasn't ready to sleep I would try to time a breastfeed whilst settling toddler in bed.

There were a few times when it all went tits up though and we all somehow ended up asleep in my bed at 9pm

I usually ended up putting newborn in the wrap to get her to sleep then I could do bath and bed for her big brother.

It's very early days TBH. I had 13 months between my two, but the baby slept with us until she was about 10 months. She was not an easy baby understatement of the decade Is it possible to put a nice comfy chair in your DS1s room where the three of you could wind down for bed and do storytime/cuddles/whatever your routine? Where's there's enough room for DS1 to be "babied" alongside DS2? Part of it is he doesn't get you all to himself anymore, so he's out of sorts because of that. DH was away a lot when they were little, it's tough with a newborn, but it does get better.

"camping" worked for me when my then-18month-old would lose her shit whilst newborn wanted to cluster feed at bed time. I would make a bed or tent (think sheet over washing rack etc) in the living room. She would nod off knowing we were in the room and I could transfer her to bed once the cluster feed was done..

I've got a 3 year old and 12 week old. They both get bathed together and I dry and dress baby on a mat on the bathroom floor whilst toddler gets to play in the bath a bit longer and I can supervise him. 3 year old gets story in his bed whilst I'm perched feeding/holding baby and then it's lights out. If baby gets unsettled I use the dummy briefly to buy me some time.