Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

Original poster

How /if to do CC again with a 2 year old???

14 replies

CountessDracula · 30/09/2004 22:41

My dd has been a fab. sleeper since she was about 8 months and we did cc. She is now 2 and nearly 1 month and has started waking once only in the night asking for a bottle and a kiss and cuddle (ahhhh bless her!) Now I don't mind getting up once really, she always goes straight back to sleep and so do I but I feel that she should really be sleeping through. Some nights when v tired I do get fed up with it too, and dh always has a problem going back to sleep when he gets up so it is bothering him too.

CC was pretty easy really when she was little, worked really quickly. Now however I have tried leaving her and wailing and screeching and lots of "where's my mummy, where's my daddy" ensue and we crack!

If we try really hard again and just ignore her do you think it would work agai? I did have a serious talk with her tonight and told her that I thought she should go back to sleep on her own if she woke in the night, I think she understood but doubt she will do it.

Any advice gratefully received

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Thomcat · 30/09/2004 22:46

Ohhh blimey, no advice but my gut instinct would be to try and be firm, as hard as that will be. Esp if no 2 will be along in 10 months or so!!!!
Not an easy one CD but she's testing you isn't she, seeing if she can get you to come and get her and have a nice time. If it were me I would proably have to go in to see she was okay, explain that she had to go back to sleep becasue it was dark and she had to sleep now so you could have fun tomorrow and say now I'm not coming back until it's light and then just try my hardest to not go back in and see how that went.

MeanBean · 30/09/2004 22:46

My DD is doing exactly the same and it is a nightmare. She gets up about 3 times pretending she needs to do a weewee, and then screams that she wants to be tucked up and have a big hug.

I'm trying to do the not making eye contact, being very businesslike when I tuck her up, and telling her she's already had a hug. Tonight she accepted it, but only because she had a major tantrum yesterday and about an hour before bedtime tonight, both of which I won, because I kept my cool and didn't give her any attention. So I'm hoping she's getting the message that I'm not going to give in to her. It is very tough though. I'd behave according to the principle that no reward for her getting up is going to be forthcoming - good luck.

prufrock · 01/10/2004 08:43

We get this too CD. You don't have to not go in at all - just don't make it fun - so no bottle, and just a perfunctory kiss and cuddle, then tell her to go back to sleep. We find that it takes maybe a couple of hours of going in every 20 minutes or do the first night, but she is OK the next night, and then until we have a problem, like a cold, or gparents looking after her. After we have given in with milk once, we have to do the "cc" again.

Hulababy · 01/10/2004 09:07

We did CC at 20 months CD, and it did work for us. Although it wasn't really crying ywe had top listen too - more complaining and whinging, and then the "but I need you mummy" type phrases. First night it took a good 20 minutes or so, but not hours. It reduces the next night and really by day 3 or 4 it was fine, even during the night. She still (at 2.5yo) on occassions wakes in the night - I hear her. Sometimes she goes back to sleep, others she will come into our room - but I just take her back, kiss and cuddle and then she more often than nots goes back to sleep alone.

elliott · 01/10/2004 09:40

CD, yes it will work at this age, and it may well not be horrendous. The thing you need to do is decide in advance what your programme is going to be to get from where you are now to where you want to be, explain it to dd and then stick to it.
Ds1 (2yr 10m) keeps having difficult sleep patches (usually related to going away when we have to respond to him in the night) and every so often we decide enough is enough and get tough. I can honestly say it is never as bad as I fear, always improves things and I end up wondering what on earth I was doing pandering to him in the middle of the night! Now he's older I also explain a lot in the day and give lots of praise and stickers if he sleeps well.
This last time we had got to a situation of 2 or 3 night wakings every night, where he would cry out until we went in and responded to his random requests ('I need my blanket' 'I need my nose blown' 'I want a song' etc etc). Our 'programme' was: first night: wait 5 mins; go in and briefly settle; then leave. Second night: wait 5 mins, talk from the door without going in, then leave. Next nights no intervention. I think we had a max of 5-10 mins crying on any single occasion. I've heard him briefly since then but resist the urge to go immediately and he generally settles in a couple of minutes. I think though you can choose a 'tough' or a 'soft' programme as long as you are completely consistent and in control, and gradually withdraw the attention she is getting when she wakes.

The trick is to really mean it - I find that once I am resolved, things improve almost without me doing anything else! And re-reading sleep training books helps as I then always recognise that it is my response which has created a habit, and that is the thing I need to change.

Hulababy · 01/10/2004 09:42

Star charts and things will maybe work at this age too. Oh, and if you are into bribery [wink} M&S do a chocolate star chart - looks like an advent calender!

mrsflowerpot · 01/10/2004 09:45

we did cc with ds four or five times between the ages of 8months and about 2.5 yrs. We had a few occasions where he got unsettled from his routine (after holidays a couple of times, and when dh went away on business for a period) and we used it to get him back on track once things had settled down again. It actually got easier as he got older (in that it took fewer nights each time). So yes, I would give it a go, if you think there's nothing underlying it and she doesn't actually need anything.

Mum2Ela · 01/10/2004 09:46

CD we had this a couple of weeks ago too with DD (same age as your DD). For 2 nights it took a couple of hours of leaving her cry, she would come into our room, we would put her back, and so on (don't know if your DD is in a cot or bed?).

Don't know why she had a couple of nights like this but she soon got the idea and is no problem again now. She shouts in her sleep sometimes, I think she has nightmares, and perhaps this woke her up?

If your DD is waking up I would leave her for a while until you can really stand it no more, then go in, kiss her etc, tell her its not time to get up yet etc, and leave her. I'm sure it'll only last a couple of nights. Don't give in to lots of cuddles, DH does this sometimes much to my annoyance, and usually finishes up with DH in DD's bed with her, which doesn't help!

Papillon · 01/10/2004 09:55

If you can hack CC then it is the fastest method

Repition of the subject to her and a teddy bear or similar which also goes to bed at night can help.

Can she have her own bottle in the bed?

prefernot · 01/10/2004 11:33

I've been going through something very similar with dd who's almost 2 (got a thread on it called 'weird night waking problem) who was also a very good sleeper until lately. We did cc when she was about 15 months and it worked quickly and well but I've been reluctant to do it this time as she's not crying as such and if I go in briefly give her a beaker of water and quick kiss she goes straight back to sleep now. The way I figure it is that she's in a cot still and to expect her to go for 11 hours or so without needing a drink of any kind is maybe a bit much. I wake a few times in the night and have a sip of water or two. If she was in a bed and I could put her some water on a table by the side then I would but at the moment I don't think she'd find it. Anyway, unless it turns into a big horrible waking problem I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. But I guess I would resist giving her milk in the night ...

florenceuk · 01/10/2004 14:53

Prefernot, DS has had a beaker of water in his cot/bed since he was about 18mths (last summer actually when it was boiling hot). Something to try? Personally I find that being woken regularly even just for 10min is very tiring and I would want to try and stop it - close to 2 they might respond to bribes/star chart?

Original poster

CountessDracula · 02/10/2004 00:05

Thanks everyone - I will re read my sleep training stuff, very good idea elliott. I think you are all right, as soon as I decide to do it, it will all get easier!

Now a very odd thing - I had that talk with her the night before last, said that if she woke in the night she shouldn't scream but find her bear and dummy and go back to sleep. Last night - not a sound.

Tonight when I was putting her in her jimjams, she looked up at me and said (verbatim) "If I wake up in the night I mustn't scream - find bear and dum dum and go to sleep like a big grown-up girl"!! Then she grinned with delight. I nearly fell over - she must have taken it all in! It remains to see whether she will continue to stick to it....

OP posts:

polly28 · 02/10/2004 00:21

wow her speech is relly advanced cd!!

They really try it on at this age and can quickly learn bad habits.Hope it owrks out for you

elliott · 04/10/2004 09:35

CD, sounds like she's getting the idea - we very deliberately started using a few simple phrases just before bedtime to help ds1 understand what he needed to do when he woke up in the night. I'm sure its helpful and reassuring to them to know that its ok to wake up and that they CAN cope with it on their own most of the time....good luck, hope things continue to improve.

Flip