Baby sleep - how to wean off the breast

[STTar30fish]

Hello,

Our little girl is almost three months old. At night she sleeps a good 5 to 7 hour chunk in one go. The problem though is getting her to sleep...

At night the only way I can get her to sleep is through breastfeeding. But it takes her a long time - sometimes an hour and half or even 2 straight hours, to fall asleep on the breast. Then I gently lay her, asleep in the next to me.

I’ve tried adding a bottle of expressed milk, and then giving her the breast in case she wasn’t getting enough, but that just means she overfeeds and vomited.

If we give her just the bottle, she cries once it’s finished, and then gets overtired and is beside herself. Rocking doesn’t seem to work - or if it does it takes about an hour to rock her off, and even then it’s a light sleep and she tends to wake up pretty quickly.

The books talk about putting your baby down sleepy but awake. All this does for us is she lies awake for a bit, before then screaming the house down.

We have a bedtime routine - bath, baby massage, pjs on, then feed and sleep. I love breastfeeding her, but the long hours before she sleeps makes it a bit unsustainable. And in any case I have to go back to work in a couple of months and my job requires me to work into the evening often, so my partner will likely be getting her to bed.

We have to find a solution! I’ve been reading about sleep training. Not really up for the cry it out method, because she is still so little. Might be worth trying another one of the methods but i’m not sure which.

How did you wean your baby off the boob and get her to fall asleep without suckling?

Very grateful for any tips and tricks!

Ruth

Try a dummy?

Ah sorry, I should have mentioned - we tried that. Two different types (cherry end and orthodontist’s) but she rejects them over and over.

Putting down awake is made up bollocks for most people. Babies are supposed to be in same room as you for all sleep until at least 6mo and lots of feeding through the evening is very normal

Haha ok great. Glad to hear it! It does seem quite a high bar just now.

Curious to know how others managed to transition their little ones away from needing the boob to fall asleep?

I’m unfortunately going to be working some evenings so my partner will need to get her to sleep. He can give her expressed milk in a bottle but while this fills her it doesn’t get her to sleep!

Your baby is three months old and needs you to help them fall asleep. If the breast does that then that's what it's for. I would ignore any advice surrounding putting down when awake- I always thought that was made up by someone who hadn't had babies! Bollocks. Feed to sleep, hold the baby TIL asleep then put down in the cot. I used to use a hot water bottle to warm the cot before baby went in. I also gave up on the bottle- more bollocks advice!!!!
Really only thing that worked was co sleeping. Good luck.

Partner will need to find his own way. Do you have a sling he could wear her in?

Honestly, she's tiny. And a lot can change in a couple of months. You can tie yourself up in knots worrying about this or go with the flow and you will end up in the same place but a lot less stressed.

I do hear you. I've had three. And none of them could ever be put down drowsy. It works for some but they are a minority I'd say.

If you have to start working evenings in a couple of months, your partner will as Pp said, find a way, the sling, rocking to sleep, singing. You'll probably find that will help with the sleep associations anyway. But loads can happen at this age in 2 months, including the dreaded 4 months sleep regression (sorry!)

In a nutshell, if having three kids has taught me anything it's that they do everything when they are ready. And it all works out in the end. Be kind to yourself.

Thank you so much all. This is very helpful! You’re helping me have strength in my own intuition which has been telling me that breastfeeding her to sleep can’t be so wrong, when it’s so peaceful.

I think i’ve been fretting because my return to work means a country move for all of us. We have to go to Lebanon in a couple of months. And then I start work there when she is six months. It’s all such a huge change for her that I wanted to try to have the sleeping thing as locked down as we can do that she’s comforted by a routine that works even when i’m Back at work and can’t always be the one that puts her to sleep.

But that’s ambitious because, as you point out, so much can change in this time! And, partner will find his way when it’s necessary.

Thanks!

I'm going to go a bit against the grain here, and say keep trying to put her down sleepy. If she screams, pick her up. But unless you keep trying, how is she supposed to get used to it? I would start with day time naps, try feeding when she wakes rather than to sleep and move on from there as she gets it. Try taking her to her crib in a darkened room as she's giving sleepy cues, and cuddle/rock/shush/pat. If that works, then try putting her down and doing it while she's laid down. If it doesn't work, get her to sleep how you can, and try again next time/ tomorrow.