3 year old getting up early but complaining about being tired all day

[Thewalker75]

Our just turned 3 ds has had a few issues with sleep since we stupidly moved him into a bed before he was ready (ive had a couple of threads on this in the last few months and mn has really helped so hoping this is something you can help with too).

He gets up at 5.30 and comes into our room. At first we let him because it was nice having him get into bed with us whilst we had coffee and before his brother woke up.

However within an hour hes saying how tired he is, and this continues throughout the day and whilst he does join in activities at childcare when hes home he just collapses on the sofa and doesnt want to do anything.

If i tell him he has to stay in his room he just says hes finished with hed now. Im worried that by letting him into our bed its turned getting into a treat for him - he gets to watch tractor ted sometimes - but how can i encourage him to sleep for longer?

We have a gro- clock, and rule that you have to stay in bed til the sun comes up. Rewards in early days for complying. We are a bit flexible- if she’s poorly etc it’s fine to come for a cuddle.
We talk about you don’t have to sleep, but it’s night time so you need to stay in bed.

However, she is often awake very early, and tired in the day. We try to stick to no nap, plenty exercise/ outdoors, plus lots brain stuff. It’s not 100% effective, but she spends more time lying quietly in her bedroom, getting more rest.

The gro clock doesn lt work - he just ignores it.

Ive told him he has books and some toys in his room but he just comes straight out again.

The noise he makes wakes up his brother up as well.

have you tried combining the Gro Clock with rewards? if you stay quietly in bed till the sun shines here you are allowed (prize eg watching Tractor Ted) otherwise you aren't allowed that treat today). start off with sun time being only 15 minutes later than he normally gets up until he has learned the cause and effect, and then start moving it later by 5 minutes at a time.

Yes, if you stay in bed til it’s yellow, you can watch tractor ted in bed with us.

Having been up since 5.24am with almost 3yo DS I feel your pain! He totally ignores the groclock as well. I tried very hard to get him to at least stay in his room but a gigantic screaming tantrum ensued and DH is working late today and needs his sleep. It was so loud I was also v concerned he would wake up next door’s little girl. I don’t know what to suggest as I’ve never found anything works for him, he’s just a really poor sleeper and I’m hoping he grows out of it at some point. In the mean time....have a on me

Any chance he would go back to sleep if he snuggled up in your bed . My DS is 4 and he wakes up as soon as he hears ten month old DD stirring but sometimes he will fall back asleep in our bed . If he doesn't then he gets up for the day already tired and cranky so I feel your pain

I wish the clock would work but any rules or treats we set he just forgets. Weve tried settling him in our bed but as far as hes concerned hes up for the day.

This morning we didnt let him in our bed just said if you want to be up then you get dressed and go downstairs. Maybe if he realises he doesnt get to do what he wants he will stay in bed for longer.

Hes complained of being tired 3 times already i said if he says that one more time hes going back to bed. He started to say it again then checked himself and replaced tired with happy!

I have an earlier riser 3 year old. I let him up to pee but its before 6am theres no chatting, no tv, no getting up. He has a bigger bed so I would go in with him. Sometimes he just wriggles and annoys me but most time he is compliant (as there is nothing to entertain him!). After 6 (usually around 6.30ish he is always up as DH getting ready for work so they play together then.

We had a big issue because we gave him the ipad to keep him quiet so we could sleep and then for ages he would wake up asking for it. Total nightmare. Took months of being strict and very grumpy wake ups from us to get him out of that routine! Also the earlier we put him to bed the later he sleeps for some reason, I guess he is not so overtired at settling.

Hmm maybe a bigger bed would help. Hes still in a toddler bed and hes been saying for ages that its too small (its not but we take it in turns to lie with him before he goes to sleep so its a bit of a squash). If he had a bigger bed one of us could just get in with him.

Have you tried putting him back in his room each morning to enforce the groclock rules? At 3 he's old enough for gentle discipline.

Yes, id try as above, take him back to bed. His own bed, until 6 (set the clock for then). Do it for several weeks. It will obviously mean you getting up though.

What methods are you using to teach him to acknowledge the gro clock? You need to teach him to use it, it’s no good just telling a 3year old and expecting him to immediately understand and have the skills. You need to support him to learn to use it.

When he get up before it’s yellow redirect him to bed, show him the clock and tell him he needs to wait until it’s yellow. If he keeps coming into you room keep redirecting him back to his bed. Make sure the gro clock is initially set to an achievable time (Eg: if he wakes usually at 5:30 set it for 5:35 the first day and then change it to 5 minutes later every day or two until it reaches the time you’d like, the he’s not having to wait for long periods until he’s got used to doing it. Finally you need a motivating reward scheme so that he has an incentive, so for example he gets a sticker every time he stays in bed til it’s yellow and once he has 5 stickers he can get a special treat (Eg: a new toy, a cinema treat, a favourite snack etc)

Yes thank you i know.how to use the.gro clock including using rewards and taking him back to bed each time. It isnt working.

Stick with it, or he'll learn he doesnt need to listen to you when it doesnt suit him. I know its tempting to go for an easy life and let him into bed with you, but it doesnt fix the problem and will ultimately land you with the potential for more serious issues. He's 3, he's not in charge.

Ok maybe we werent strict enough, im at a loss as to what else to do. Ive dug out the clock and reward charts again so lets see what tomorrow brings. We had to let him have a nap today he was so tired.

OP, I think I'd commit to a month of being really firm with it. Set the clock, use the reward chart if you think it will help, but return him to bed every time. Calm, "It's still bedtime, you can get up when the sum comes up".

He might wake his brother if He complains but I'd really push through it. Good luck!

P.s I know exactly How you feel. Ds1 is 4, and uses the grow clock. Almost 3yr old ds2 gets up and gets in bed with me. But , crucially, he goes back to sleep. And its just me so there's plenty of room.

Honestly, who are these 3 year olds who get put back in bed and stay there? I know it’s the right thing to do but mine just has a head flinging tantrum and gets straight back up. He is far too big for me to manhandle him anywhere. I have had mornings where I have told him to get back in bed, physically put him there for 30+ minutes again and again and we get nowhere. Tantrums and hysterical crying, plus running here there and everywhere and flinging himself around. It’s not always as simple as “put them back to bed”. Sorry OP I’m hijacking but I really can’t see what to do with mine. He understands the clock and is perfectly happy to tell you the sun is still asleep. He’s not bothered by the concept of stickers and rewards, unless the reward is immediate. I don’t think I’ll get anywhere with that unless I’m literally handing him a lovely treat as he is lying in bed. So frustrating!

Have you taken him to the doctors and said he's always tired and laying about. 5.30 isn't an abnormally early time for a 3 year old to get up and he certainly shouldn't be laying around most of the day because he's tired.
Saying it may become a habit but he should still have plenty of energy

What time does he go to bed OP? Although I did suggest returning him to bed, as the piste above said, some 3 yr olds just won't. My almost 3, and 4.5 yr olds, go to bed 7.30 - 8. Can sometimes be awake up to 8.30 depending on the day.

They get up between 6.30 and 7.30. The 3 yr old wakes up before that and gets in with me but generally goes back to sleep.

Can you not let him nap , and push though to a later bedtime? Again, stick at it for a couple of weeks at least. If it were me if plan things to do that will distract from the tired grumpiness that you'll get.

Did he sleep later over Christmas at all? My 2 did by the second week, having had a few later nights and generally half an hour later most days.

We dropped his naps a few weeks ago because he wasnt going to sleep until 8.30 but still getting up at around 6am so admittedly slightly later but still not great. He now refuses to nap unless we make him when he is really tired like we did the other day.

Going to bed is fine now and, as i say, i dont mind him getting up early its just the complaining that hes tired.

He gets lots of exercise and running around, hes active at nursery and plays with his brother at home so im not sure theres anything wrong that needs the gp but then, walking to childminders this morning he said he was tired and got in the pram. Is that normal??

Oh and the rewards are working better thsn the last time we used them so maybe he was a bit young before, last couple of mornings hes waited until his sun came up on the clock.

Sorry i know this is all a bit rambly but i just feel like we are getting lots of things wrong at the moment.

Forgot to say hes in bed around 7 and asleep by 7.30pm