Losing patience with toddler

[frillseeking]

I'm finding bed time really difficult at the moment as my toddler is pulling my hair really hard and hitting me round the face but she thinks it's funny. I've snapped a few times and really told her off but it doesn't stop it. She also puts her fingers up my nose, fingers in mouth which I can live with but the hair pulling is really getting to me as it hurts. Any advice welcomed, thank you

I would tie my hair back or if it's short, put a beanie on

I used to put my hair up in a towel so DS couldn't grab it. Is she doing it when feeding or just getting her ready?

I'd go with one firm warning, and if she does it again tell her its not ok, walk away for 5 minutes, then come back, remind her what she shouldn't be doing and get back to the bedtime routine

When is this happening? Is it while feeding or are you lying with her to go to sleep?

If it's either of these two things then it needs to become non-negotiable that she doesn't harass you and is probably a sign that this way of doing bedtime is phasing out.

It is amazing the number of injuries you get from small children isn’t it! And how much such tiny people can hurt you. You’ve maybe tried this, but I’d plan to firmly say ‘no, we don’t pull hair/ put fingers there’ etc, repeatedly, and show her what ‘gentle’ means, by taking her hand and stroking your face or hair instead. If she persists beyond a few times, I’d move away a little physically and say something like ‘I can’t cuddle if you hurt me’. These messages will need repeated many times, with patience, to have a lasting effect.

She quite often falls to sleep while having her bottle but if not, this seems to happen when I'm the one putting her down. Usually DH does bedtime but he's away this week. I do tell her no but she laughs so in the end tonight I put her in the cot and went into the bathroom for a few minutes. She went absolutely nuts but when I picked her back up, she didn't do it so as much as I felt bad hearing her cry, maybe that's what was needed. I think she was overtired by bedtime today so maybe that doesn't help? She's never normally like that at any other time, she's very gentle and loving

If she only does it at bedtime then i think you can be fairly confident that she's doing it on purpose to try her luck. Developmentally that's a really good sign, and what she needs from you is exactly what you gave her, a firm boundary. She'll cry because its new to her and it doesn't feel good, but that's what teaches her going forward. You're doing great, even if it's tough, and you're giving her the skills and boundaries she needs, alongside all the love and support that comes naturally to you, and it's the foundation of moulding her into a kind, considerate adult. Keep it up, you're doing her a huge favour even if she doesn't think so.