Co-sleeping question, help please!

[Secretlifeofme]

Can anyone give me some advice? My 3 month old co-sleeps with me and is a pretty good sleeper. She will go down at about 8.30pm and sleep until 8.30am with wake-ups at about 2 and 5.30. However, in between her wake-up times (when she actually needs settling back to sleep) she kind of 'snacks' at my breast in her sleep, sometimes multiple times a night. For example, tonight she went down at 8.30 but fed in her sleep from 9.30-9.45 and is already doing it again now. My question is, is this normal and should I try to get her out of the habit? I'm worried that it may mean she will become a terrible sleeper when she eventually sleeps on her own, as she's used to being able to latch on whenever she wants. Any advice appreciated, thanks!

Sorry, forgot to mention it's 10.45pm here

I would say its pretty normal, my daughter did this when we co-slept. Both my babies were terrible sleepers, I don't think that co sleeping made it worse, but who knows. Dd would not settle in a cot at all but was sleeping in her own bed at about 18 months.

Thanks @wonderstuff, can I ask how you got her into her own bed then? Had you stopped breastfeeding by then?

I'm very much of the school of thought that you can never over do breastfeeding/ cuddles / closeness but then again I'm no expert!

I didn't bed share with my ds but he breastfed loads and was very much always with me. He's 17 months now and sleeps on his own great.

Listen to your mummy instinct.

Exactly what mine did, by 3 months they basically helped themselves! I fed mine until 18 months and they would trot in from their room to be fed.

Also remembered that when I'd decided I'd had enough of night feeding and was happy she didn't need it I started pushing back her night feeds, so initially not feeding until 12, then pushing it later by 15 minutes or so and this did eventually stop her feeding at night. By 12 months I was down to a morning and evening feed only. She self weaned at about 20 months when I fell pregnant again.

Mine all did the same until they went into their own beds at 1.5-2yo.

Thanks @firsttimemamma and @okiedokieme! That's kind of reassuring but I was hoping to be able to get her into her cot soon! I haven't even got her into the next2me yet do you think it will be a disaster if I try?

Yes my dc did this. It's like having a meal trolley by the bed, they might just have a midnight nibble because it's there!

Co sleeping is great until it's not, do it until the cons outweigh the pros, but not longer.

We did have to force the move to her own bed, we would put her back in her own bed every time she got up. First night was horrific, but she was sleeping through by the 4th night. I never wanted to leave her to cry it out, we went to her every time, but I think we put her back to bed about 30 times that first night. Don't really remember what we did with my second, but it must have been easier. He wasn't as attached to my boobs, they're 12 and 9 now and she's still a much better eater!

"I haven't even got her into the next2me yet do you think it will be a disaster if I try?"

I couldn't really answer this as I don't know your individual baby, sorry. Maybe you could give it a go? I personally liked the next to me.

The thing is that I like co-sleeping but I'm going back to work soon (maternity leave here is not like the UK!) and I'm worried that my sleep is being broken a lot even if I'm not necessarily fully awake when she snacks. I'm pretty tired in the daytime

It’s so tough isn’t it but sounds like you’re doing a fab job. It might be worth keeping in mind that you might get more sleep at night if you continue to co-sleep for a bit longer through starting work. You and baby will be coping with a big change and the night time closeness might help you both with the transition. Then when you’re used to new working life start the move to own cot. Only you know you and your baby though so trust your instincts and stop co-sleeping when it feels right.

You might find work is easier as you're do busy you don't feel the tiredness so much. My DD woke every 2 hours until she was 3 and I just got used to it, and I work 50 hour weeks.

If you want to stop the baby latching on like that you can try the pantley pull off method as a gentle way to stop the suckling but I'd give it a few months before bothering as she's still so little

You will get a LOT more sleep if you carry on co-sleeping. That's why I did it. All the times she wakes now, she latches on then falls back to sleep again without much effort on your part. She'll still wake up that many times in the cot, if not more, but instead of helping herself and going back to sleep, she'll properly wake up and cry and you'll have to get out of bed and stay out while you settle her to sleep and put her down again. No thank you!