2 year old just won't sleep through the night

[Anon8253]

I have a two year old who has never slept through the night. Both of my other children slept fantastically and maybe this is karma but it's really having a negative impact on my life.

The problem is, its not that he wakes up, it's the fact he stays awake for hours. It's 4am and he's been awake since 11pm. I'm exhausted, I struggle with mental health illnesses and lack of sleep makes it so much worse. I also sleep constantly throughout the day as I'm so tired from being awake which is ruining my own sleep pattern. We've had a sleep specialist give us some tips but they didn't work. I need him to sleep 😭

Oh wow that sounds so difficult what are the things that you've tried?

Strict bedtime routines, Bath, brush teeth, book and bed. Sitting with him till he sleeps, sitting with him just outside of the door so he knows I'm there. Leaving him but going back every two minutes I honestly can't remember everything now, it's been so much of it. I've kind of given up all hope and decided he just won't ever sleep but tonight or this morning I shall say, I've been really upset over it all x

I think we have the same DS!! (He just woke up again whilst I was writing this) I obviously don't have any suggestions as I can't make it work!
We've had a sleep consultant, tried everything you've said and the rest. I've ended up taking a demotion at work as I can't do everything on 2-4 hours sleep a night! Sympathy.

My two year old is like this I just shove him in my bed with my phone and sleep while he watches cartoons for an hour then I try bedtime again or we get up for the day. How is his napping? Ds sleeps better when he dosent nap at all.

@NotSoThinLizzy

I know not great is it? I have a newborn too so it's just temporary fix atm. Seems to reset the toddler so to say most of the time he'll then go back to sleep.

Ment to say @june706

That's a concern that he's not getting tired and up until all hours. And it's just terrible for you. You must feel sub-human. I've had terrible sleepers, but they would at least go to bed at 7:30pm but be up and down in the night (which is a killer, but in your case, you're just up until dawn practically).
Are you in London? If so, you can get your GP to refer you to paediatrics and paediatrics will refer you onto the paediatric sleep medicine clinic at Evelina Children's Hospital. Unfortunately, the referral has to come through paediatrics, not your GP. So, you have to get plugged into paeds. It's worth it though, to be honest. If you're not in London, then find out if there is a local paediatric sleep clinic.
I would actually get plugged into paeds for this though. Becuase your LO has a sleep disorder (which will resolve over time). Lots of kids do! And yes, it's really common at this age. But you don't have to struggle through this and wait it out until he's say, four years old.
Your GP is your first port of call. Really, try and get a referral to the above. I really, really truly sympathise.

www.evelinalondon.nhs.uk/our-services/hospital/sleep-medicine-department/overview.aspx

Here's some information, OP.

If you're sleeping through the day is he as well?

My 2 YO is a terrible sleeper, we might get one night in three where he sleeps through at this point, and it's been a long slog to get here. He doesn't sleep through, obviously, as no-one really does, but he only grumbles for a few minutes before dropping off again. If he wakes up properly it can be 2 hours before he decides it's sleepy time again, usually just as the alarm is about to go off. Good job I love him.

Anyway, I've found that change can help. If you've got into a crappy routine do you have any option of mixing it up completely. Staying in a different place (friends or family away somewhere?), having someone else do bed time, different room? Anything that says 'tonight is not the same as other nights' and then also making sure he's properly tired by going swimming or something active during the day.

But as PP said, if it's more a disorder than bad habits better to get professional help. Sorry, it's rotten, I do feel for you.

VeniVidiVoxi

That's such good advice!

I wonder too OP if you're both sleeping during the day (and goodness, why wouldn't you?! It's bone-soakingly exhausting what you're going through). If this is the case though, you could turn this around easily by just forcing a restart (this would involve several knackering days of not sleeping during the day but waking up at 8 or 9 and plowing through- no nap- until 6 or 7 in the evening. He'd probably drop off around 7 or so, wake up a couple of times in the night. Swimming is a good one. Playground.
I know, I really really really know how much the idea of daytime activity and going to a playground must seem worse than eating straight out of the foodwaste. I used to get sooo annoyed when people would suggest this because I was just too tired. But you really could reset things by forcing an early wake-up and having an hour of activity outside of the home in the afternoon.

DS cut out his nap at just gone 2. If he had even 10-15 mins during the day he was up til 10ish at night.
Not sure how but you need to really cut down on him napping during the day. Could someone else have him while you nap? Keep him busy/awake? Does he maybe go to nursery? Could you afford some sort of childcare while you rest?

Ah sorry to confuse you all, my son doesn't nap. His dad looks after him whilst I sleep. Sometimes we try to put him down for a nap but it doesn't work 😔

He goes to nursery three times a week and I try and take him out but I do struggle with getting out. He quite happily plays in the garden though and runs around all day.

I'm worried if I go to the Dr's they will just laugh at me as he's still young