4 month old in crib

[Jjjjjjs]

Hi
We are trying to get our baby to sleep in her crib. She is 4 1/2 months. If she is asleep and you put her down she wakes and screams. So we are trying to put her in awake and getting her to sleep. But she gets so irate. We manage to get her to sleep but she wakes after anywhere between 5 to 30mins.
She is sleeping in our bed but she sleeps so poorly as she wakes when I move around.
We desperately want her in her crib but I feel so bad when she gets so irate. Has anyone had any success in this matter? Everything I read just says put your hand on their chest... anyone that has worked for does not really have a baby that won't sleep in a crib!! Talking to her and using hands to comfort does not work.

Just a few suggestions as don't know what you have tried!

• putting something that smells familiar into the crib with her, for example a Muslin so she has the scent (obviously you will have to take it away once asleep)
• half swaddling?
• a sleep bag?

Have you got a pod you use that you could put in the crib? I know that the transition from arms to a crib is a lot for them as it seems like a wide space so the pod makes them feel more enclosed. Keep going and don't give up, I know it's difficult x

Hi, thanks for your suggestions. We have tried all of those (apart from the pod, we are not keen on using one as the lullaby trust says not to), we have also tried making the crib warm before putting her in there.
But most of the time she just screams from the moment you put her in to when you take her out, apart for the few times she falls asleep for 30mins.

@Jjjjjjs that is completely understandable.
What about getting a next to me crib? That attaches to the side of the bed? X

That is what we are using, that extra 20cm away from me might as well be a mile! She even wakes up in our bed if she can't touch me.
I have tried sleeping with an arm in her crib as a transition but that doesn't seem to be enough for her!

I have no suggestions for your current sitution but I feel your pain.

My soon to be 16wk old is currently sleeping with his head on my shoulder. If I even lean towards the crib (a next to me) his spider senses kick in and he wakes up.😭

What I do know though, is that this won't be forever. My other two children are much older and have happily slept in their own beds, in their own rooms for many years now.
Also, 4 months is a very tricky time for babies. Sleep habits (if you've been lucky enough to have a baby who has any) go to pot for a while and they are learning so much that everything else does too. There's also a big growth spurt around this time too.

So I'd not worry too much about not being able to help her self settle, it will come. We keep up with the same night time routine even though it's doing bugger all for sleep at the moment because it will in time.

Sorry no advice but interested too for tips so keeping an eye on this. I feel your pain op! Coming up to 3 months and exact same situation including the next to me crib.
So far much much research suggests: you either get a sleeper baby or you don’t.

It is just getting so frustrating, I have to go to bed when she does, get up when she does, i can't even refill my drink in the night without her waking or screaming if she is awake already, I have to hold her for hours whilst she naps, we both sleep terribly, I just need 30mins to myself whilst she is asleep! 4 1/2 months of sleep deprivation and being constantly with a baby 24/7 is taking it's toll, but I have no idea how I can make things better!

My sanity is being saved by DH taking DS downstairs for a couple of hours occasionally. He'll sit and cuddle him and it means I can have a little bit of baby free sleep.

Is that something that you could try? Honestly, it's incredible what two hours of deep sleep can do.

Hi there, my baby is now 13 months but I remember this so vividly! Your post really resonates with me - I remember the RAGE I used to feel when people said to put them down 'drowsy but awake' and 'just pat them gently til they drop off.' You don't know how ludicrous this is until you have a stubborn non-sleeper! I'm sure those techniques work for lots of people but our baby would just scream the house down until her face was purple and she was choking. In desperation we tried a sleep consultant during the four month sleep regression but our baby would scream for an hour and a half non-stop, then eventually crash for half an hour, rinse and repeat. We gave up after a day (worst day of my life and definitely of the baby's) and I'm ashamed we kept going that long.

We found the only things that helped were: firstly, just popping her straight in the next to me was a complete no go, even with hot water bottles/tshirts etc. So I sent my husband downstairs and coslept - each time she came off the boob I would retreat backwards one millimetre once she had been asleep a few mins. Then gradually increased the distance one tentative millimetre at a time, then gradually shimmied her backwards one mm at a time towards the next to me (this was each time she fed not all on one occasion and waiting til she was thoroughly asleep) - oh and she was on her side so she didn't realise she had come off the boob (feeding in side lying) - I know I know, but she was in such a state from lack of sleep we did what we had to do. Over a couple of weeks I could push her backwards right into the next to me and she would stay asleep. A couple of weeks after that she was so not bothered that I could put her down flat on her back in the next to me straight from a feed.

In terms of the transition to cot - that was the hard bit and I'm afraid the thing that made the difference was a sleepyhead. We used it only for naps to start with so we could supervise but she slept so well with it that we started using it for night time sleep (and still do). I found a really good article about it on the made for mums website which reassured me - yes it is an increased risk but a very small risk and i believe there have never been any links established between cot deaths which have occurred and a sleepyhead. I also know lots of parents who use them!

Anyway totally understand if our methods aren't for you, every parent needs to weigh up risks and make their own choice - for us this was better than the only available alternative of unending distress and poor sleep for our baby. These days I can nearly always pop her in the cot and she will curl up and drop off on her own. My main message is solidarity- you are not alone and you are not doing anything wrong, some babies just are this way! And (much as it used to drive me nuts to hear it) time does help- around 6 months she started to come out the other side of the sleep regression and things definitely got easier. Hope things get easier for you soon.

Sorry btw there were paragraphs in there! Not sure what happened!

Any success over the last couple nights OP?

She has come down with a cold the last couple of days and does not sleep well when she has one! But when she is better I shall attempt to edge her into the crib as suggested. We have also got hold of a sleepyhead, i figured there was no harm trying it for supervised naps- she did not like it yesterday but I shall assume that was cold related!

Oh no poor everyone- hope she feels better soon.

Sorry you are going through this it must be so hard.

Our baby is 6 months now and we used a purflo nest in her next to me crib and now use it in her crib in her room. She sleeps great through the night, not sure how much it contributes but we tried putting her down without it it and she was a nightmare. It’s also helped getting her into her own room and we’ve had no issues because the nest is familiar! If you are against nests which is totally fair, try putting a blanket that is warm and smells of you in the crib, unfortunately I think you are in for a transition period since she’s used to being with you at night but she will get there.

They are totally breathable and safe (from our experiences) however this is a personal choice which everyone will have an opinion on, but it has worked for us!

Purflo nest is pretty much the same as a Sleepyhead btw!

Aw poor lamb hopefully she is better soon! Always works out when you need to start something new they’ll become poorly bless them.
My DS is a few weeks younger but I’ve sat debating a sleepyhead for days now. I don’t mind spending the money if it will work but it’s the uncertainty of succcess! Would be ideal if you could borrow one for a few days see if it works first haha. I really hope you get some success and some much needed sleep.

For daytime naps, this was a lifesaver for me...once she's asleep I can put the kickstand up and vibrations on and she doesn't tend to notice she's not in my arms. If she wakes up or is in a nap refusing sort of mood, then I can rock her with one foot while having both hands free for lunch. Downside is I now have one leg with really toned calf muscles lol she prefers a more violent sort of rock to a gentle one!
www.argos.co.uk/product/7175237

Worth a try and easy to return if it doesn't work for your wee one

Once they detach for some naps I found it easier to get her in her crib at night.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I just managed to pop her in the sleepyhead in her crib, she woke up and I left her to it, came back 5mins later and she had gone to sleep. Only for 30mins but that is massive for us. Hopefully if I can get her putting herself to sleep in there it will be less of a jump to the crib. Fingers crossed!

That is absolutely fantastic! Especially given that she woke up but managed to settle herself back down, that's really huge progress. Let's hope it carries on - I'm sure there will be many bumps along the way but great that she is getting there.

Jjjjjjs - did you ever find a solution for this that worked for you and your little girl? I feel like I could have written every detail about my 4 month old boy!

Ahh I'm so glad someone wrote this post. My Lol slept fine on his own but we just got a crib and he isn't anymore. Not sure if it's the 4 month regression