Sleep issue with 10 year old - Insomnia/can't fall asleep- HELP!

[sunshine05]

So my 10 year old son has issues falling asleep. He had issues when he was 8 for a while, went to the doctors and they said they can't do anything. Luckily he got better. Fast forward 2 years and it's happening again. He's had problems for nearly 6 months now. Some nights he's fine and falls asleep ok, others he can be awake until midnight, sometimes later. It's killing me. Hubby is away at the moment and it's so hard dealing with it by myself. I can't even go to bed on time and I'm so tired.

we've tried all sorts of things from lavender sachets to youtube videos with calming stories and sleep apps. Oh and relaxation techniques. Nothing seems to work. I've ordered a weighted blanket but delivery is delayed so that's a couple of weeks away!

I'm going to take him to the docs next week but I'm worried they'll fob us off again. Surely if he's having issues like this they can give him some melatonin or something? I know they don't like to give it to kids but its really affecting him and us.

Anyone have any other tips to try or found anything that works?

It also doesn't seem to be emotional/issues at least he can't tell me anything specific. He does get anxious about not being able to sleep despite me trying to reassure him. He especially hates it when we go to bed and he's still awake. I'm at my wits end!

has anyone tried Herbal Nytol or anything? It says don't give to kids under the age of 12 but desperate times and all that. He's 11 in March

Watching for tips.
I've got an 8 year old who struggles to fall asleep. He's got ADHD which doesn't help. His mind just doesn't stop and he finds it hard to turn off and relax.

DD is 7 but has always had trouble switching off. She needs 1) complete darkness (even the landing light under her door is a problem and 2) me to lie next to her, with my arm over her, breathing slowly and sleepily, until she is asleep or very sleepy.

2. is a pain but if I do it she’s asleep in 10 min. If I don’t she can be awake for an hour plus and grumpy the next day.

minipie I'd do that if it worked! DS gets so hot in bed, he's like a radiator! I have to have the window wide blasting air in before bed then he has a gel pad that's been in the freezer under his sheet -even in the depths of winter!! so me lying next to him wouldn't work.

I let him sleep in my bed last night for the first time ever (hubby is away) and he was asleep within 10 mins. Not a long term solution tho- lol!

thewindsofchange yeah my boy is like that too. His mind is always active, he doesn't seem sleepy at bedtime at all

I've always found it very hard to switch my brain off. Things that have helped me are listening to podcasts/audiobooks (can't be music, has to be spoken word and nothing too interesting!)

The other is allowing myself to stop trying to get to sleep if it's not happening. I'd get up, make myself a hot drink and watch some tv for a bit (I found things like Friends good as short and not too taxing) or read. If you're getting anxious about getting to sleep you can just end up in a cycle. Quite often I'd fall asleep with the tv on!

Obviously it would need to be age appropriate versions of the above but perhaps it might help. I suspect he's now in a cycle of being anxious about not being able to get to sleep and it's self perpetuating. Good luck!

sunshine05 yes heat is a problem! How come he didn’t get hot in your bed - or were you not there with him?

If you weren’t with him, I wonder why being in your bed helped. Extra space? Smell of you? Is your room quieter/darker? Basically is there something you could replicate in his room...

minipie we have a superking so he was way over on the other side so I suspect that's why I didn't make him hot. But I think he fell asleep easier because he was with his mum and felt safe and happy- and I told him this and he agreed! but we can't have a 10 year old in our room. It's just not practical and ….well theres other things to consider like keeping our marriage alive if you know what I mean

sunshinegirl82 yeah I do feel sorry for him laying there for hours trying to get to sleep and sometimes I suggest he reads a bit more but he's not always keen. Watching tv? well I don't know if tvs are the same as ipads etc but those screens are bad before bed? Plus hubby and I like to sit down for an hour to relax in the evenings. It's bad enough he comes down intermittently and disturbs us. It's really affecting our lives. And I can't help but feel jealous of all those other parents whos kids have been tucked up in bed for hours! I know it's not about us, it's about helping him but it's having a profound effect on all of us and we can't have him downstairs sat with us till 10 at night . I know what you mean tho- for an adult these ideas would be a great solution x

I've found an article on the Boston Children's Hospital website on sleep. I know it's not UK based but it's from a sleep clinic basically talking about how melatonin can help kids. I'm going to print it off and take it to my GP! I feel like threatening him with 'well if you don't prescribe melatonin I'll just buy it off the net anyway so wouldn't it be better if you're giving me the prescription so he gets the right amount?'

discoveries.childrenshospital.org/melatonin-for-children/

he often feels 'safer' with his duvet up round his ears, he has to have everything perfect, socks on his feet. Everything has to be just so. Perhaps it's anxiety around sleeping? when he gets too hot he hates to pull the duvet down, like he doesn't feel safe any more. So I'm hoping a weighted blanket will help with that....when we finally get it! They have very good reviews from people who have trouble sleeping

Hmm is there space for a bigger bed in his room? So you could lie down with him and not make him hot? Mind you in a year or two he might not want you doing that anyway...

Another option is something like Dodow (it’s a light that helps you slow your breathing) or wave noises, never tried them though.

I used to get this and now - unless I'm away - I sleep like a log, so it can get better.

Total darkness and an eye mask has helped me, along with a particular pillow I've used for nearly 20 years now which I fold myself around every night and that seems to all help settle me.

I really feel for your DS I hated it. I used to call them my "phantom nights" when I was little as I just lay awake hearing creaks and groans from the house imagining someone was coming up the stairs. My parents were the floor above me which freaked me out but it was a problem from a very early age.

At that age I would put the light on and listen to audio books. I'd eventually doze off.

I once read an article that people who struggle to get to sleep have lots of rituals and necessities which actually don't often help and people who don't struggle to get to sleep have none and don't see getting to sleep as a 'task'.

I definitely relate to that - I've had insomnia on and off my whole life and sometimes I get trapped in the cycle of a million things to help me sleep and then I recognise what I'm doing and stop ans tell myself they're not necessary and that just lying down and resting is enough. If I fall asleep great. If I don't then the rest will have still been good. It usually really helps.

Tbh though is 10 as late as he's awake til? it's not that late for a 10 year old...

My 8 year old sometimes takes a while to fall asleep. He has a double bed so myself or DH will often snuggle in with him after stories. Does his bedroom have space for a double bed? You could go in with him until he's asleep? If he was asleep so quickly when he was in your bed maybe he is feeling anxious when he's alone?

Is he getting enough exercise in the day? Is he using screens late in the evening? These are other things you should consider.