Help. My 10 year old doesn’t sleep!

[Magic1802]

I’m going through a really tough time with My daughter. She is 10 and it’s been on going since she was roughly 5. She goes bed but takes her ages to go off. We do a Bath, book kiss and cuddle. Then she will wake up an hour or two later. Can’t get back to sleep refusing to go back to bed. Constantly repeats herself even though I’ve comforted her said the same thing over n over. Sometimes throws herself on the floor crying. This can go on for 2/4 hours. I don’t know what to do. I’m at my wits end. I feel like I’ve tried every avenue being calm, Being firm. Punishment. Comfort. Lavender oils/sprays, relaxation music. Nothing works. I’ve been GP and into the school and they just dismiss me all the time. It’s effecting my work and my relationship. I feel stuck. I just want to help her and don’t know where to turn. :(

What time does she go to bed?
What time does she get up?
What is she like in the morning, do you have to get her up, chivvy her along?
What wakes her up? Heat/cold/noise/light - does she say?

I have a slightly younger child who is a bad sleeper. Over the Christmas break we had a few nights with DC awake at midnight, having gone to bed at 9pm. Now school is back and we have a more set routine DC is generally awake until 10-10.30. However, I don't need to do any nagging in the morning to get them up, moving and ready for school.
I can remember being a poor sleeper as a child, needing 8 hours to my peers' 11 or so.
I just ask DC to stay put in the bedroom. Quiet music, story CD's and reading are all permitted.

What is she repeating over and over? Is she afraid to be alone in her room? I know I went through a phase around her age of being afraid to be alone. I was the only girl at home so had my own room. It freaked me out.
Does she have mental health issues? Is she stressed, worried being bullied?
I personally would take her to the doc. They might be able to prescribe a light sedative that will help her stay asleep. She may also need to see a therapist. There could be something bothering her that she might not want to talk to you about.
My dd is not a great sleeper and I, like you, have tried different methods of getting her to sleep and found the only thing that works is reassurance and making her feel safe. It is very trying op and there is nothing worse than sleep deprivation .

Weighted blanket?

She goes to bed around 8/8.30 but she’s never asleep straight away.
We get up for school lat 6.30 am every day I have to wake her up and coax her to get up. It’s a battle to get her out the door. She doesn’t say what wakes her up I get shrugged shoulders. I’ve tried sitting down talking with her told her if she doesn’t feel like she wants to say she can write it down and I can read it instead.
She will always complain of something hurting like her belly or her back and always feel unwell.
She just repeats she can’t go back to sleep. I’m finding it hard to know if she actually feels poorly or if it’s become a habit of saying it.
She’s an only child so has her own room. She hasn’t been diagnosed with a mental health issue as of yet. We are due to go see GP again Monday. The sleep problem has got worse. I’ve been lucky to get two hours a night this week :( she must be exhausted I don’t know how she keeps going xx

Will try that. Thank you

If I go to sleep too early I sometimes wake after an hour or so and then I find it hard to go back to sleep. Could you try pushing her bedtime back an hour and see if that helps?

The pains could be anxiety?

I would try and prioritise you getting some sleep as you must be exhausted.

I put her to bed at 9.30 she didn’t go off til 11pm and still woke at 1am kicking off. There is always an excuse as to why she can’t go back to sleep. If she just relaxed in her room reading etc wouldn’t be an issue it’s the waking me up and not letting me go back to sleep continually repeating herself. Doesn’t make any difference what I say or do it’s pure draining and demanding. X