Please help any advice is welcome !!

[Livvy101]

Hi! My baby is just coming up to 4 months old (nearly 3 months corrected) but he is a big baby . Already nearly 19lbs
Overall a content baby , wants feeding 7oz every 2 hours. For the past few weeks will absolutely Scream the place down before bedtime for a few hours and NOTHING we do can console him. He finally gets to sleep and sleeps anything between 6-9 hours a night before waking to be fed
The problem is , he has also started crying uncontrollably before naps Throughout the day and will scream For about an hour at a time. I Will have to do everything to get him back to sleep but then he will only nap for around 20 minutes and he’s awake but still tired
I’m at my wits end I just don’t know what to do anymore
Thanks x

I think you might actually be me! My DS is now 5 months - and is also a huge baby - 19lb10oz currently! When he was 3-4 months he was a nightmare. He screamed before bedtime for hours, and fought naps with every ounce of his energy! I could only get him to nap by vigorously rocking him in his pram whilst holding his dummy in his mouth. I hated going out and about because I looked insane doing this!! But I decided to dedicate my life to getting his napping sorted as I believed that the evening screaming was over tiredness! We were at 3 x 20-30 min naps a day back then which obviously wasn't enough. He still gets overtired and grumpy even now, but we consistently get 1.5 hours in a morning, then maybe an hour midday and then 2 x 30 mins in the afternoon. He still cries in the evening but only for around 15-30 minutes rather than 3 hours!! So it really has worked wonders - and I can take him out now without being too worried. So firstly I really focused on his awake times, at your babies age he could barely stay awake for 1-1:15hours. So I would watch like a hawk for tired signs and then get him to sleep in any way I could. This meant lots of walking with the pram, sling, bouncing and rocking. That helped immediately as he was far less overtired and evenings got easier but obviously not easy for me! So then from there I gradually worked on getting his first nap of the day nailed - as I found this his easiest nap. I put him in his cot in the dark, white noise, dummy etc and rocked him to sleep in the cot (imagine your hand on babies chest, rocking back and forth). Then slowly I reduced how much I rocked until he has falling asleep himself (admittedly after 15 minutes of rocking!!) He still fights naps badly, and I often need white noise and dummy etc but he is getting better each day. That was such an essay, so apologies for that, but I just feel your pain as I was there a couple of months ago! It does get better though (but I'm still jealous of these babies who just falls asleep everywhere - I don't think he will ever be one of those!)

Thanks so much for the message!! It’s nice to know there is others out there in the same position as me.
How did you get him to nap for longer ? Or did this just happen over time ?
Also, what sort of time was he waking up and then having his first nap ? And what sort of time did he go to bed at night ? Did you have a routine ?
Thanks so much. I’m literally at a loss . 1am he screamed Til last night 🙈x

Oh god yeah, I felt so alone at first. I am part of an NCT group and they all go to baby groups and stuff and I'd just be thinking my baby would scream through them all if he needed to sleep (which he always would as he could only last an hour!) It just took time for the naps to lengthen, I noticed once he was napping regularly (just 20 min ones) they started getting a bit longer (up to 30, then up
To 40) I think it was because he was better rested, not overtired and therefore could nap a bit longer.

We definitely had a routine, at the beginning I'd say it went something like the following:
Woke up 6:00 have bottle
First nap started 7:15 (slept 30 mins)
Woke at 7:45, play and another bottle at 8 (he fed every 2 hours back then)
Second nap started 9am (slept 30 mins)
Woke at 9:30am, play and bottle at 10
Third nap at 10:45 (slept 30 mins)
Woke at 11:15, play, bottle at 12
Fourth nap at 12:30 (slept 30 mins)
Woke at 1pm, play and bottle at 2
Fifth nap at 2:15 (slept 30mins)
Woke at 2:45 and play
Final nap at 4pm (though this one wasn't always possible, it's the hardest nap to get!)
Wake at 4:30, play
Bedtime routine starts at 6, bottle at 6:30 and bed by 7.

I know that sounds absolutely mental in terms of the amount of naps but it's what kept him from having a meltdown!! But then after a while the naps lengthened, as did his awake time so now we have 4 naps a day (1.5 hours, 1 hour and 2 x 30 mins) and his awake time is 1.5-2 hours between naps (he is 5 months this week). It feels so relentless constantly getting him to nap, but it improved over 2-3 weeks and now things are SO much easier. I really recommend persevering with it, dedicating yourself to it for a couple of weeks and do what you can do get him napping and it will get better!

Do you have a routine at the minute? When does he wake up/go to sleep etc?

Is he maybe overtired? Mine used to be like this. A solid routine helped loads. Do you have a routine at the moment. I actually got support from a nursery nurse to sort the routine and learn how to manage sleep. Dispite him being my second. My first was completely different and just slept.

Thanks for your advice ! He’s definitely overtired. It’s like he doesn’t want to switch off and then all of sudden I’m faced with a screaming baby that I can’t control in all honesty.
Hodgepodge, it doesn’t sound mental at all because if that’s what works then it’s brilliant . Your baby sounded like mine.its great news that yours has made progress on it! I think I may have to start doing the same if I’m honest and see if things improve.
This morning after his feed at 6.30, I did what you said with putting him in his cot with the white noise etc and then I just left the room and within 10 mins he was flat out and I did exactly the same thing for his next nap with the white noise and made the room dark. Had slight fussiness for about 10 minutes but then he just fell fast asleep. Like you said , I’ve also tried to watch very closely for signs of tiredness which to be truthfully honest, I didn’t really do before. I think I was leaving it too late
Even just after those first two attempts, I’m feeling a lot more positive about it all and can see the difference already .
Fingers crossed the napping duration lengthens and thanks so much for the advice! Made me feel so much better xx

That's fab! Well done. Once the nap duration starts improving, nightime will do. I was doing the same. Mines abit older but we now get 2x naps a day and both over an hour. Hes a much happier small person :)

Brilliant! I’m glad it’s working for you. Thanks for your help! Xx

I am so glad that he is starting to nap better! I really hope the rest of your day went as well as those first couple of naps! Glad I could help, I have tried so much with my DS it's just nice to be able to let people in a similar situation know what works! Keep me updated, would love to know how he improves!