Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

No sleep - any ideas please?!

2 replies

Castleonacloud · 07/01/2020 07:20

Hiya,

I don't often post on here, but I need help...

My daughter is 2, she has never been the best sleeper, but thought we'd cracked it. We went away in October and ever since she's just not slept.

I have to stay with her until she falls asleep which could be anything up to 2 hrs, then she wakes up every few hrs in the night where I have to settle her. Some nights I take a blanket and sleep on the floor in her room just to get some sleep, but it's far from ideal. I'm running on 2hrs sleep a night. I then have to go to work.

My DH works away a lot, but tries to do his share when he's here, but in the night if DH goes to settle DD, she screams and screams for me, pushing past and hitting him until she can get to me.

We have a stair gate on her bedroom, but she climbs over it if I leave her to cry. I've tried controlled crying, but she goes from 0-hysterical quickly, climbs over the stair gate which is dangerous.

We moved her into her cot bed as she was climbing out of the cot, at a similar time she has now decided not to sleep. I can't put her back in the cot cos she climbs out constantly.

DS is school age, so can't leave DD to scream at night cos he needs sleep too. Bedtimes for him is difficult as he sees me putting his sister to bed, but I quickly put him in bed and let him read for a while, then tuck him in after DD is asleep, often he's already fallen asleep, which makes the guilt worse. He's great really, but all this is putting a strain on my relationship with him and with my DH.

Over Christmas we tried the controlled crying, didn't go so well, so I'm I'm just doing what I can to make her feel safe, sometimes I sit on the floor, other times I have to lie next to her to gather to settle. I've tried being tough. It makes her anxiety worse. I've got the same routine before bed. I stick to the same things while before making changes so as not to confuse her.

I'm just stuck in some cycle that I can't get out of. I am horrible and snappy,I ache everywhere as I also have a chronic illness and lack of sleep makes it worse. I really don't know what to do. I'm less productive in work and at home, relationships are suffering and the guilt is massive. I'm trying my best but feel like I'm failing massively.

Any assistance, advice, pointer or anything is welcome...

OP posts:
crazychemist · 07/01/2020 09:51

Bless you, that sounds terrible!

If she’s terribly anxious, is it worth planning to sleep in with her to soothe her for a bit? Put a mattress on the floor so you can get decent sleep in her room. Maybe after a few weeks you could then do a gradual withdrawal method? If she’s got some anxiety, anything sudden sounds like it might be really tough on you both, as well as your DS

Castleonacloud · 07/01/2020 15:42

It's not great to be honest.

Yes DD is terribly anxious. I'm dealing with separation anxiety (her not me) as well as her not sleeping. It's far worse at night, during the day she's happy to be left with grandparents and wave me off, and even was fine at nursery (until going back after Xmas), hoping that settles down too.

I could sleep in her room, but I'd rather not. I did this for a while at first but got too much and to the point she wouldn't settle at all unless I was in the bed. I've spent some nights asleep in her bed curled at the end as she won't share her pillow, but my back is breaking.

I am simply at the end of my rope now. It's pushing me too far. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing this as I am a mess physically (in constant agony due to chronic condition), making me snappy and short with everyone else. I need to drive to get to work and I'm not productive at work either.

Can't just quit my job as it's not that easy, plus it would be worse cos I'd have to look after DD as can't afford to give up work and keep her in nursery so she'd be more anxious as I'd be with her 24/7.

Do not know what to do.... any sleep experts around??

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.