Does a 1yo still need 2 breastfeeds at night?

[LikeSilentRaindrops]

Have an about to turn 1yo DD - she usually wakes up between 10 and 11 and again between 3 and 4. DH does try and settle her sometimes in the first time slot, but after about half an hour of crying, he’ll come and get me. She usually settles again after a feed.

We were away over Xmas and, for some reason, although she stirred between 10 and 11, she didn’t properly wake up - and it was so blissful to get 6 hours of unbroken sleep!!

So, two questions: 1) does she actually need that first feed? (Goes to bed at 7 after a feed). And 2) if not, is it ok for DH just to go in and hold her, while she no doubt screams for (at least) an hour? I don’t want to traumatise her unnecessarily, but am willing to have a couple of difficult nights if it’s likely to get that unbroken stretch of sleep. Has anyone done this?

Mine all slept 12 hours through (7 to 7) or close enough from 9 months on. Yes, send in DH in to settle, good idea

Of course she doesn’t she’s 1. It’s totally fine for your husband to go to her

We night weaned at 9 months and DD was a month early and doctors/HV all agreed that was acceptable if baby was eating well in the day and gaining weight. All my friends night weaned between 6 months and a year, it seems unlikely she still needs the calories overnight.

I'd say go for it, she will likely make a fuss the first day or two but you need to stay away and let DH deal with her and just comfort and only offer water. She should drop the habit of waking for milk when she realises it's not coming and that waking at night is boring.

It depends on the child. Mine still feeds through the night and is 2 next week, others sleep through before 1. If she is settling for your DH then great, if not you may still be feeding for a while yet.

She’s a v good eater and always has been, so I’m not too worried about calories. I’m happy enough to do the 4am feed, as I think that was what my eldest did too; it’s the 10/11ish one that’s irritating, as it means we can’t go out feeling reasonably confident she’ll sleep.

@Elindab did you do anything to enforce that 7-7 pattern?

@WineAt4pm how did you go about night weaning? I don’t love the idea of sleep training, but feel it’s somehow not so bad if DH stays in with her - though I know she will be hysterical. The longest we’ve done that before is about an hour, before I’ve capitulated and fed her. I’m not sure for how long her determination could keep her going!

She wakes twice a night at a year old? No that really isn’t normal, most babies sleep through much earlier than that. Stop feeding her, she has a reason to wake, she’ll soon stop if she doesn’t get a feed.

Yes, I did two naps in the day and strict routine of meals. That's what I was advised to do and that did seem to help them sleep better at night.

So the day would go: wake up, food play nap, food play nap, food play bath (sometimes), milk, SLEEP THROUGH NIGHT. But I think there were snacks in there too.

But yeah, just what PPs have said. They need to learn to self settle so you need to be tough and consistent. Never turn on the light, be as boring as possible and send DH in.

Although actually, I've never used the DH technique myself. I'm just assuming it works!

Of course not. My son was sleeping through 12 hours at 11 weeks!

Medically she doesn’t but that doesn’t mean she’s not hungry. If you get into the habit of eating at a specific time, whether that’s lunch at 12 noon sharp, or a 3pm slice of cake then you will feel hungry if you change that habit even if you’re objectively capable of doing without it. So if you drop night feeds, she may struggle a bit before getting used to the new regime.

i would say it was normal for a 1 year old to wake up during the night tbh.

Depends what you mean by “need”. Probably not physiologically, but maybe emotionally. My son fed through the night until about 15mo - they’re all different, just because some sleep through earlier doesn’t mean there is anything “wrong” with those who take longer or that parents have done anything wrong.

We tried my husband settling my son periodically and it didn’t work until it did at about 14/15mo - there just came a point where he could give him a hug and lie him back down and tell him it was time to sleep and my son would drift off again. There were still times when my husband couldn’t settle him but they became fewer over time. I would suggest your husband continues to try but don’t worry too much if your baby isn’t ready for that yet

Instead of cutting it out entirely could you try and push it back so that it's not so much of a shock for her?
Only feed at 11.30 and no earlier and then, after a while midnight, and then keep going until your two feeds a night merge into one?

She wakes twice a night at a year old? No that really isn’t normal, most babies sleep through much earlier than that.

what?
I do not know a single breastfed baby who didn't feed through the night at 1yo, unless of couse, it was night weaned!

I seem to be living on a different planet. It is completely normal for a 1 year old to wake at night for feeds. It's annoying granted, and she doesn't actually need the feeds and it's perfectly fine to wean if you want to, but this really is perfectly normal and common behaviour.

Following with interest, all my breastfed children woke for feeds. One stopped at a year, the other two definitely didn’t. (And the one I night weaned still wakes regularly every night two years since I night weaned him)

My 1 year old still usually has one feed in the night. Sometimes more if something is off (a cold etc.). Anecdotally from our NCT group - the breastfed babies are still feeding in the night (the others more than DD is) and the bottle fed babies are all sleeping through (variably from 6 months ish to recently). Our HV said this was common at DD's one year check.