Can't get this sleep thing right!! Where am I going wrong?

[mamatoizzywizzy]

My baby is now 10months old.
I have posted on this sleep thread so many times already about poor sleep , not going to bed , having no evenings, night wakings ect .....then one day about a month ago she started to sleep through !!! Wow!! Not just that but she got into a pattern of going to bed at 9pm and then waking around 9am (sometimes 10am!!) so I had lovely lie ins and caught up on lots of sleep!

However now, even though she is sleeping through I'm finding I still have no evenings because of the pattern it means she has her last nap later ending around 6pm sometimes and then goes to bed later around 9.30pm!!

I just can't seem to get this sleep pattern right. I am thinking that perhaps going forward I should be waking her up in the mornings at the same time each day so that she stays on more of an earlier schedule throughout the day so that her last nap doesn't interfere with her bedtime . What do people think ? Has anyone gone through similar things?

I think I ended up in this later schedule simply because she just wouldn't go to bed at night time (lots of depression anxiety!), so by the time I finally got her to go to sleep it was often gone 9pm anyway !!!

You're not doing anything wrong! I don't think that sounds like an unusual sleep schedule - it's whatever works for you.

Moving bedtime is hard but I would say getting up earlier consistently, and bringing your bedtime routine earlier will work eventually! But go easy on yourself - babies have their own rhythms too.

@RMarieClaire thank you for your reply and reassuring words!! I am such a stress head mum! My husband has just reminded me that our daughter doesn't operate like a machine , and I know he is right !! I need to chill out lol

Mine slept midnight till noon. We’re a family of owls so that suited us. Can count on one hand the number of times she has been asleep before 8pm and that’s been down to jet lag or illness. 7-7 would never have worked for us.

She’s a very lovely 9 year old who has seen in every new year. Be careful what you wish for. It sounds like 9-9 works so why change it?

Can you move bedtime earlier by just 15 minutes a day? Gradual for her and less overwhelming for you!

Just change it by 15mins a day or every couple of days. It does work if you stick to it

mamatoizzywizzy I think you are doing great. She's getting 12 hours sleep at night which is the most important thing. RMarieClaire is right, you are doing nothing wrong and moving bedtime is hard. I know, I've tried. My dd is a nightowl. Her dad is a nightowl. Almost everyone on his side of the family and my side of the family are nightowls. I've always been an earlybird so am the odd one out.

I've tried to get my dd's bedtime moved earlier but she just stays awake in bed playing or chatting away or repeatedly calling me to come in and give more cuddles. I was waking her 15 minutes earlier to gradually get her bedtime earlier and it didn't work for us. I tried waking her even earlier and she would be tired and cranky throughout the day and yet still wouldn't fall asleep until later. So now I just go with it.

Can I ask, off topic, how you got her sleeping through the night?

Thank you for everyone's replies. It was only last night that I got worried about this going to bed at 9 thing because my daughter just wouldn't go to bed as normal and ended up going to bed at 11 (I thought it was because she woke from her last nap at 6 and so wasn't tired enough and I started to worry that maybe I was doing the wrong thing) ...it's nice to post on here otherwise I feel so alone and doubt everything I do as a mother !! This mum thing is so hard isn't it !!!? I'm sure we are all just winging it ?!

@littleguggi - I didn't do anything to get her to sleep through, it just happened randomly one day a month ago at the same time she just decided she was able to self settle too! It took me by surprise as until then I was walking around like a zombie! I still breastfeed her to sleep last thing at night and whilst it doesn't send her to sleep any more , I'm sure it has given her the confidence to self soothe herself (unlike the many articles I have read and worried about that say breastfeeding/rocking or anything else to sleep promotes night wakings as baby won't know how to settle without it - which I really think is rubbish now!!) How old is your little one ?

Thanks mamatoizzywizzy, that's amazing! My eldest randomly started to self settle at 12 months and sleeping through, before that she never slept more than an hour or two. My little one is 7 months and following in her sisters footsteps 🙄 I'm reluctant to sleep train and hope she too will randomly learn to self settle. At the moment she relies on the boob or being rocked! Hopefully you can get your evenings back soon x

Wake her up a bit earlier each day until she is getting up at say 8am. Then aim for afternoon nap say 1-3. She should go to bed 8ish?