Can you sleep train at 8mo and how??

[LJSY]

My 8 month old has always been a bad sleeper, we did controlled crying at around 7mo in a fashion (I am too soft) and it worked she slept a lot better only one/two get ups. Due to recent bout of cold/then a fever and conjunctivitis she is now getting up every hour? Lucky if I get a 2 hour solid stretch which results in her in my bed with boob in her mouth feeding constantly.
As soon as she wakes now she’s up sitting in her cot, how do you sleep train when they can sit up and look at you!!!
I need suggestions!!

We sleep trained at 7.5 months. Got rid of dummy cold turkey then weaned down feeds over a week or so. Then no more overnight feeds ever. In cot awake. Say goodnight and leave. Go back in to reassure at intervals but don’t take out of cot until the morning. Within 2 weeks we’d gone from multiple wake ups to self settling at bedtime and sleeping 6.30pm - 7am. Life changing.

Didnt work for my DD but I was only willing to use very gentle methods and I wasnt willing to drop feeds because she didnt eat any solids at all. Probably would have worked if I did it "properly"

Wait until she is not ill. Then, assuming she is getting enough food during the day, cut out feeding at night. I did this to my DD at 9 months. When she woke up I would pick her up but not feed her. I would rock her to sleep. First night took hours to get her back to sleep! But was better almost immediately. Within days she was sleeping without waking at night (or she was settling herself without being fed to sleep). It even helped her daytime naps - much better longer naps instead of multiple short naps. Do it!

Sounds like the 8 month sleep regression! We haven’t done any sleep training but I’m considering some gentle methods. Be aware that if you might wean as part of the process your milk supply may decrease as prolactin the hormone that encourages milk production is highest overnight. Babies who night wean also breastfeed for less time. La Leche league has some good resources about night weaning.

Welshweasel, Bakedbeen, So you think the key is to not feed during the night at all? She doesn’t eat much food at all during the day at the moment so I would be worried she was hungry??

Rhyming rabbit - She’s the same, just wants to snack on breast milk all day long!! I’m not doing well with the weaning .. :(

She doesn’t eat much food at all during the day at the moment so I would be worried she was hungry??

I think that's a bit of a chicken/egg situation, you might find she eats more during the day when she's not constantly grazing all night. I do appreciate it's a hard balance to find to trust you're not accidentally starving them, but you should also be able to shift the majority of her calorie intake to daytime hours by this age.

In terms of sleep training, yes absolutely possible at this age and there is a whole spectrum of choice from very gradual/gentle to more traditional controlled crying. My advice would be to be honest with yourself about what you/your DH can cope with and pick a matching approach, because you need to be absolutely consistent and also willing to see it through at 4am when your resolve will be low and your desire to get back into bed will be sky high! So no point aiming for something that won't work for you and feeling rubbish about failing.

Best of luck!

I think Modge is talking a lot of sense. I know of some pretty chunky babies who slept through the night, so presumably they were eating all their milk calories during the day. My DD ate a lot of solids during the day at 9 months but the issue was she couldn't settle at night without being breastfed back to sleep multiple times.

Theres a wicked sleep regression at around 8/9 months. Sleep training through that will be a nightmare. Look for the three C's as signs. They can become more cranky, clingy and definitely cry more. ( checkout the wonder weeks app or book)

May try adjusting naps by 5 to 10 mins. Think naps range between 45 mins and 2 hours? Think its 2 naps per day at that point which is recommended. Again google sleep routines for babies age as a guide. We also, would never let him nap past 4 for his 7 pm bedtime. Took us ages to work it out.

Personally I would start with routine training for yourselves and baby then move on to sleep training. We did controlled cry method and it was brutal for the first 3/4 days. DH had to help as I felt awful about it. Also, when I spoke to a sleep consultant she said to not go to baby unless they actively have cried out or called for you. And, when they have to wait 2 to 5 mins to see if they self settle. That was the best piece of advice ever for us. I was too 'on it' and actually disrupting his natural self settling. She explained that just as adults we wake several times in the night babies will do the same.

Ds was a terrible sleeper and still is at 5. We found that by having a strict sleep routine helped massively. He was definitely a baby where sleep begets sleep was very true. Naps and bedtime were always the same time roughly with similar routines so he knew what to expect. Also, from what I remember think that's it usual for most babies to have 1 night feed until 12 months old. Also, try to ensure that baby has enough supper. We found that to be huge help. If he didn't eat well then we did a bed snack 20 mins or so before bed.

Good luck and sorry if this sounds preachy, it's not intended to be.

The baby whisperer book was great for us.

We did at 10mo after complete exhaustion with tips from this book (very gentle approach): www.amazon.co.uk/Sleepeasy-Solution-exhausted-parents-getting/dp/0091923778/ref=nodl_

I've got an 8 month old breastfed frequent waker too, but I think the issue with us is teeth coming through. Breastmilk has opiate-like factors in it so it makes sense that he wants to feed a lot more to help (although I'm hoping the situation improves soon!)

Before you go along the sleep training route, do you think your little one might have some teeth on the way out?

sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/05/14/ten-reasons-to-not-sleep-train-your-baby/

@FleasAndKeef We have just had her 2 top teeth cut through this past week and a half and she’s been really poorly with it :(

@extremity1 Thanks for your advice thats really helpful, she is literally waking every 15mins - 1hour. We put her down around 7pm and she could be up 4/5 times before 11pm. Before she was sleeping 7 - 11/12 then going back after a dream feed it was bliss! Do you think it could be due to a regression then? My husband is all for controlled crying but I absolutely hate it

Thanks everyone else for your advice too

@LJSY teeth coming through and unwell/conjunctivitis and possibly 8 month sleep regression all at once- poor you and baby!!

If you can (and this is only what I would do) I'd be tempted to try and get through this rough patch any way possible (regular painkillers for baby, co-sleep, others holding baby while you nap, leave housework for a while etc) then reconsider the situation when things have settled down a bit. I'm not sure how productive sleep training would be while these other things are going on?

Xx

@FleasAndKeef You’re probably right. Just seems it might go on forever if I don’t do something now xx

Definitely sounds like a sleep regression. Will give some random tips which worked for us.
Also, as another pp has said teeth will play a huge part in it. Personally, look out for signs of her being in pain and if I were you I'd definitely try a dose of calpol. Or even a half dose. (And I know I'll probably get hung out to dry for suggesting pain meds) it may help to settle her. When ds was a similar age he was having his come through rapidly and I had one night where every single time I put him down he'd start to to cry. It didn't matter if I was holding him for 5 mins or 45 mins. We were both in tears by the end.

Other things we did that worked were we introduced a cuddly toy (jellycat) which he still uses every night. Get several of the same so you can wash them on rotation. Trust me on that one. Gives a sense of security.

During the winter we would pre heat his cot by putting in a warm hot water bottle in while we got him ready for bed. Cold sheets/bed can be fairly upsetting. (Obviously remove water bottle and dont keep it in too long, just enough to get the cold out) over heating can be dangerous.

Put a Muslin (which I stuffed in my bra and wore for a couple of hours)flat under his fitted sheet so he could still smell me.

We also ended up introducing a dummy which he refused to take before that. We then had to take that away from him at around 12 months. But that's another challenge. He was using me as human pacifier and not actually feeding. Think it was comforting for him.

We got black out blinds (gro do some good ones) and used during naps.

We also changed where his cot was. It strangely helped massively. Not sure why though.

Theres so many sleep training methods out there. When I say we did a controlled cry method we adapted it to suit us and worked with what felt right. Every child and family is different. Again, theres a wealth of information on google. I spent ages researching and reading until we found what worked. Having DH do the majority did help though. I was far too weak and sleep deprived to follow through. As with all parenting consistency is the key to success. Which as always is easier said than done.

Another good read is the happiest baby on the block. It's very American and a bit cringe but has some really useful tips x

Wow and ouch sorry about that novel ^

Reading with interest. My previous excellent sleeper dd has stopped after a cold. We're now on our second cold in a couple of weeks and she's still not sleeping the way she used to.

@LJSY how was last night? Hope it was a bit better for you x

@extremity1 Thanks so much all really helpful!

@FleasAndKeef We gave up trying to put her back about 12 and she came in with us, human pacifier 🙄 x

@extremity1 What method of controlled crying did you try?

Breastmilk should still be the main source of nutrition until 1, alongside introduction to solids. No advice on sleep but I wouldnt attempt to drop night feeds yet.

Hey, sorry about the radio silence. Back to work etc.

We started at the 2 min. Intervals but did 2 or 3 checks at 2 mins, before adding another minute on. We also, ignored the bit about no touching and did back rubs and a bit of baby massage to sooth. And if he became hysterical we stopped cuddled him and once he was calm.again we would restart at the 2 min mark. When I say we I mostly mean DH tbf to him.

But as another pp has said is she isn't well or hungry it's probably not the beat time to start.

Hope things are settling for you x