Help needed!! Feeding to sleep/constant night waking/moving to own room

[Ginger0219]

7 month old feeds to sleep (breastfed) for all naps and night sleep (he will fall asleep in the pram and occasionally just by being rocked) he will rarely feed when awake only when he is due a nap. He will only nap on someone in the day, will wake as soon as he is put down. He goes down in his cot at night but has started to wake hourly if not before, he doesn't feed everytime sometimes just a cuddle is enough to get him back to sleep. We tried moving him to his own room last night and he woke every 30 minutes! What can we do to improve his sleep (and mine!)

Hi OP, this sounds tough and exhausting for you

I think you have 2 options, 1 is to try and co-sleep if you're comfortable with this and let him feed as and when throughout the night just so get some sleep. Consider a sling during the day so you can still move and get things done. Some babies just seem to need this closeness..

The 2nd is to sleep train. You'll need to try to first break the feed to sleep habit and then be persistent and it will take time. You'll need to be consistent and do it for all sleep so as not to send conflicting messages. Maybe introduce a cuddly like a blanket or muslin with your scent on as that can help too.

7 months is around the time they go through separation anxiety too so that is probably going to compound issues of being separate from you!

It's really hard so I feel for you HTH

@Biscuitsandteaplease I've tried co-sleeping and that doesn't make him sleep longer and I sleep worse as I can't turn over to get comfy.
How do I break the feed to sleep? Do I gradually reduce the amount of time or just stop completely? I tried putting him down for his first nap without feeding this morning and he just screamed until I couldn't take it anymore. I was still with him the whole time patting and shushing.

@Ginger0219 co-sleeping definitely isn't for everyone, I personally wouldn't want to do it either so don't worry

To break the feeding to sleep, I would think you'll need to try and separate feeding and sleeping and move your baby towards associating their bed with sleep rather than you feeding them. Do they have anything like white noise or a sleeping bag and do you have a bedtime routine for them?
What is the room like when they go to sleep?
If you can get a solid set up there and use it every time for naps and nighttime, it should become the signal for sleep instead of you feeding him.

You could also start feeding in another room and then going into his bedroom once finished to help break the habit.

For example, we have used white noise for our baby to sleep since he was around 5 weeks old and it gets him off to sleep very quickly now even when out and about in the pram or car or sleeping in a different place

Personally, I would start by feeding in his room in the dark until calm and then put down to sleep and from then on if he cries just pick up and soothe without feeding by rocking or cuddling and put down again when calm and repeat as necessary.
He will grizzle and cry some because it's different to what he's used to but after a few days it should sink in and he'll start to know what to expect. Any change will take time and I would expect it to seem worse for a short time before it gets better.

Hand hold, it is very hard to think when you are so tired

At 7 months your DC likely no longer needs milk during the night at all. I would recommend breaking the association by night weaning.

Hopefully you have a partner or someone who doesn’t smell like milk (ie you) who can do nights for three nights in a row. When your DC wakes, they offer water and part his bottom, sing a lullaby or whatever it takes to get him back to sleep.

My DH really didn’t enjoy these three nights but they definitely helped.

Then for all other sleeps make sure you don’t feed to sleep, even if this just means keeping them awake by talking, singing anything so they finish their feed, you put them down and then they sleep.

Also get ready to learn new methods of settling. Pat his bottom firmly while he’s on his side while singing to him. Or similar.

I really feel for you, months 4-8 were just so bad for me but night weaning and learning new ways of settling really helped me. I didn’t formally sleep train, just got a bit stricter.