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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

New born sleep

25 replies

Aleshia31 · 31/12/2019 09:42

Hi there !
I'm new to all this so please bear with me ..
My dd is comming up for two weeks and has completely turned night into day. Any ideas how I can gradually change this ? I am aware that she is so small but every little helps !
Also as a new mum I feel I don't know how to get her into a routine she feeds around 9 then 12 but I don't feel ready to go to bed at 9 .. how do you mums sort this do you bring the basket down to the sitting room any help and advice would be great !

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Pilot12 · 31/12/2019 09:50

The baby should stay in the same room as it's parents all the time until six months. I just sit on the sofa and hold my baby in the evening whilst I'm watching TV. He either sleeps or feeds, DP gets me any food or drinks I need.

Yes of course you can have the basket in any room you're in. Mine doesn't like being put down hence he's held. Unfortunately your baby is too young to know the difference between night and day and at that age will feed every few hours day and night.

CalamityJune · 31/12/2019 09:50

You have nothing to worry about at such a young age, reallly. It's really common.

I was always careful to make daytime very bright and noisy. Always had daytime naps by the window etc and fresh air every day. Evenings were always very dark and quiet. Any night time feeds were done in the absolute minimum light using my phone torch pointing at the floor.

I don't really believe you can "get her in a routine" personally. I think that it's more that you will get to know her and her routine rather than trying to shoehorn her. If you know she will feed at midnight then make your bedtime 12.30. DS just slept wherever we were until he was about 5mths. We just took him to bed when we went to bed.

bingbangbing · 31/12/2019 09:53

Breastfeeding or formula?

She's too young for a routine. It's just milk and cuddles as required.

Just keep her with you and feed one end, clean the other end. Routines are for around three to four months at least.

Original poster

Aleshia31 · 31/12/2019 12:12

Thanks so much for everyone's reply ! I understand it's too young for a routine was just looking for some reassurance type thing and going in the right direction. And of course because it's Christmas and the other half's off work we have been out of routine up longer ect at night ! :) thanks everyone

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Original poster

Aleshia31 · 31/12/2019 12:48

I think also what I mean is .. should I feel bad not taking her into bed to like 12/1 when I'm ready to go aslong as she's fed changed happy ect does it really matter ? X

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RhymingRabbit3 · 31/12/2019 13:10

I think the general advice is to make the difference between day and night clear. So during the day have the lights on, normal day to day noise etc. And at night have the lights off, quiet and calm voices
Gradually they will start to learn the difference.

When she is older you can start doing a bedtime routine, e.g. bath and fresh PJs at 8pm to signal the start of "nighttime"

I'm amazed you dont go to bed until 12/1am when you have a newborn - I was in bed by 9 every night.

BonnieSeptember · 31/12/2019 13:14

"I'm amazed you dont go to bed until 12/1am when you have a newborn - I was in bed by 9 every night."

Me too!! My 13 week old has decided his bedtime is anywhere between 11:30-01:00... How I long to go to bed at 9pm 😭

CalamityJune · 31/12/2019 15:37

I found myself going up later as I absolutely hated being woken when I had just gone to sleep. Like OP, my DS always wanted a feed at around midnight so I preferred to try and get that out of the way and then hopefully be tired enough to fall straight asleep until the next feed at about 2.30am

Original poster

Aleshia31 · 31/12/2019 16:43

Haha I'm a bit of a night owl, and yeah I think it's more that I don't get stressed out that she's in bed and not sleeping come her 12/1 feed if that makes sense lol . I feel so much better to know I'm not the only one ! I just felt like a bad mother not taking her to bed untill then but I suppose you have to do what works for you ! And of course the whole house is out of routine with it being Xmas and stuff lol.. I thought I was going mad

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GiGi18 · 31/12/2019 19:03

Bedtimes will get earlier as your baby gets older. For the first few weeks late bedtimes are perfectly normal. As others have said just keep your baby downstairs with you until you are going to bed. We used to just watch tv/eat dinner (take turns holding baby or me eating one handed most of the time)! It won't be long until she goes to bed much earlier and you'll miss her! My baby is 6 months now and goes to bed at 6.30.

Original poster

Aleshia31 · 31/12/2019 19:10

@GiGi18 this is going to sound completely mad .. but how do you know that it's their bedtime for the night ?
I put my dd in a bath last night and swaddled and that was her from 9-12 and then up all night so maybe I done this too early x and like everyone says she's just new to the world so it will take time x

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Teachermaths · 31/12/2019 19:14

I tend to go to bed early and leave baby with dh in the evening then he bring baby up for a feed.

They don't know night from day at all yet, best to go with the flow. Our mornings are very slow at the moment!

Boobiliboobiliboo · 31/12/2019 19:21

Bedtimes will get earlier as your baby gets older. For the first few weeks late bedtimes are perfectly normal.

Not necessarily. With 2 sets of night owl genes DD’s sleeping pattern was midnight till noon till at least 18 months. (Suited me, didn’t want to be awake before 9am.)

It didn’t move to single figures (ie before 10pm) until she started full time school aged almost 4.

NeedAnExpert · 31/12/2019 19:23

Read up on the fourth trimester, OP. Your baby should still be inside you. They want feeding on demand, rocking to sleep, to feel held securely and to hear your voice and heartbeat. That’s it.

LexCake · 31/12/2019 19:23

Aleshia - you’re not mad. My DD is 4 weeks and naps just merge into one. I’ve no idea whether a late evening nap is a true nap or the start of night sleep and I’m pretty sure that DD has no views! I was doing the same as you and taking her up with me when I went to bed (poss 11ish). Literally in the last couple of days it has felt right to go up at 9ish because I was noticing that 10 to midnight was a time she tended to sleep so I might as try and sleep to.

BonnieSeptember · 31/12/2019 20:21

Yep we realised early on its easier and less stressful for everyone if we change our routine to suit the baby - even if that means sitting up until the early hours every night 😁

Original poster

Aleshia31 · 31/12/2019 20:52

Thank you so much everyone for your help I will just continue what I'm doing in the hope that once dh is back to work thing will be easier to adapt and I will be in bed early.
I just felt like a bad mother for taking her up to bed so late .. but as long as she is getting the care and stuff she is needing then I'm sure we will eventually fall into a routine !

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GiGi18 · 31/12/2019 23:09

Don't feel like a bad mother, she literally has no idea what time it is! Sounds like you're doing a fab job. In terms of knowing it's bedtime, it was really just a case of her screaming if I tried to put her to bed earlier than she was ready. We went really late then all of a sudden it was 6.30 for us. My baby isn't a great napper in the day so she's ready for bed by then but if she napped longer in the afternoons sure she would last a little longer. Every baby is different and you'll eventually find your routine works out itself. X

Pipanchew2 · 31/12/2019 23:22

Hi, with both DC I kept them up with me till I was ready to go to bed in the early days. You’ll start to notice a routine emerging in the evenings (for my guys it was around 10-12 weeks) where baby gets grouchy and over tired and their feeds are a bit more predictable: I took this as a sign that they were starting to need a bedtime so it was around then that I put them to bed before me. Even then bedtime was flexible and was based on when they asked for their evening feed rather than a specific time.

Original poster

Aleshia31 · 31/12/2019 23:41

Thanks so much guys ! Tonight she screamed and screamed untill she was swaddled and is currently sleeping next to me while I watch tv ! Thanks again for your help ! I must be doing something right she's went from 8.8 to 8.13 in a week lol ! I've tried to stick to the whole 3 hours but if she's sleeping I've left it slightly longer if it means she's more content .. of course no longer than the 4 hour mark x x

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BonnieSeptember · 01/01/2020 04:23

If she's putting weight on well I wouldn't worry about waking up for feeds - at 8.13 she's not tiny now :) I spent weeks anxiously clock watching then when I spoke to my GP at 6 week check up she was baffled I'd been told to wake baby up given his weight and subsequent weight gain (8.8 at birth, putting weight on consistently thereafter)

CalamityJune · 01/01/2020 09:11

Just feed on demand- I never watched the clock. Unless there are concerns about their weight, you don't need to wake a sleeping baby

Original poster

Aleshia31 · 01/01/2020 14:09

Thanks so much for everyone's advice and not being judgy ! Last night she was swaddled for 12 and only
Woke every 3 hours for a feed ! Feeling more human today ! Xx

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Original poster

Aleshia31 · 06/02/2020 17:55

Hi there looking to see if anyone can give advice My LG is 7 weeks tomorrow and feeds regularly every 4 hours a day 6oz and is gaining weight ..
but yesterday my hv said she should be having 8 feeds a day ? Surely if my LG is sleeping from 12-7am and not waking up crying for a feed I shouldn't wake her ?
She was 8.8 when born so is gaining weight and growing well ?! Should I just continue with what I'm doing

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Original poster

Aleshia31 · 06/02/2020 17:56

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