Dummy addiction, 10 wk old

[19SCMSarah]

I have a 10 week old who loves to suck and finds his dummy relaxing to get off to sleep. We have just got him into the routine of napping regularly in his cot which is where he sleeps at night - but weirdly didn't use to want to sleep there during the day until we got him into the routine of it. To do so, we used lullaby, swaddle and dummy as sleep cues which are what we use at night time.

The problem is that during his day time naps he is reliant on his dummy and cannot self settle when it falls out. At night he is in a deeper sleep so doesn't notice however during the day he is reliant on us popping it back in every few minutes. If we don't he becomes hysterical. On the odd occasion he can self soothe but then remembers it's not there and gets upset again.

The dummy falling out disturbs his day time sleeps plus its not sustainable to keep putting it back in and we don't want him to become reliant on it for sleep. We rarely use the dummy for anything other than relaxing him off to sleep. He has a strong startle reflex so we swaddle to sleep therefore he can't suck his hands.

Do we take away the dummy? Does he need to learn to self soothe even though he's hysterical? How do we do this?? Should you leave a 10 wk old to CIO? Please help!

I can't comment on the dummy situation as my 2 never had one. However, a 10 week old baby should never be left to cry it out. They are still so tiny and need comfort and to feel secure. It does get easier but I know it's hard when your right in the middle of it.

I had the same problem with one of mine, except he woke up at night too. The only way he slept was if i kept putting the dummy back in his mouth or if i carried him around. We couldnt do day sleeps in his cot, he was always in a sling on me. And at night DH and I had carrying shifts until he was 6months or so. We could never put him down long.

Was terrible because my first child just slept in her cot from day one. She was in our bedroom, but for naps she also slept alone in the bedroom and i didnt do anything different. And she never noticed when her dummy fell out.

They have just different needs/personalities.
Dont let him cry please.

Are you sure he needs a dummy to sleep and isn’t actually hungry? DS is 3 weeks old and breastfed but wasn’t sleeping in the day at all - when I offered him a tiny amount of expressed milk he managed to nap 2 hours at a time

He could actually be hungry. Some babies tend to feed more in the day and some more at night.

They are so attached at that age. Just want their care giver for comfort. It does get easier.

Absolutely no letting them cry it out at this stage. Crying is their only form of communication and when you ignore their cries, you are taking away their ability to get your attention!

Sending you patience and 💐

Guidance is if you have introduced a dummy then to not take it away until at least 6 months due to some potential links to increased risk of sids.

A 10 week old cannot learn to self soothe yet, they need cuddles and reassurance.

As pp said; is it possible you might be missing some hunger cues during the day?

Your 10wo should really be sleeping in the same room that you're in during the day and definitely not left to CIO.
He is tiny

They should be in the same room as you for all sleeps until 6 months old. If you are putting them in the cot then you need to stay in that room so might as well keep putting the dummy back in??
Please don't let a 10 week old cry it out thats heart breaking.

Thanks for all responses. He is a light sleeper and needs a dark room to nap in so he's in our bedroom with a monitor on during the day. Is the general advice that if he needs the dummy to sleep to just give it back as and when he needs it? Does anyone have any advice of how he could keep it in - bigger teat, different brand? It's definitely not hunger during the day as we tend to put him down just after a feed. Thanks for the help!

If he keeps spitting the dummy out and cries hysterically then he wants a boob. A warm, delicious boob. Give him a boob and stop training your baby, he is tiny, he needs you!

Get a cherry dummy. One of those hideous brown rubbery things that looks like it's 50 years old. Forget your fancy orthodontic ones.

My DC spat out every single dummy apart from them. The shape makes it easier for them to keep in their mouths.

At ten weeks old, I was still holding my eldest for naps. He really struggled to stay asleep with naps and it was the only thing that helped settle him! I really wouldn't worry about him and self settling just yet.

I can't actually tell from the op what the problem is? He sleeps deeply at night and needs the dummy for a nap, so what? He's a tiny ting little baby, DD napped in her sleepyhead next to me on the sofa until she was about 8 or 9 months old.

DS is 6mo. I have taught him to self settle in the last 6 weeks or so (using the shush and pat method) which now works as long as he isn't poorly/teething etc. Recently he's learned to put his dummy back in too, so he cot is sprinkled with them.

When he was 10wo I think I mainly held him for his naps, we had some lovely cuddles! Or he napped in his pushchair when out and about which meant he was less bothered about the dummy.

I wouldn't worry too much about self settling at the moment, he will learn it in time and life will get easier!

Yes, pop the dummy back in. He's 10 weeks old. E needs comfort from somewhere to sleep, he'd getting it from the dummy. It sounds like he's sleeping pretty well. He should be in the same room as you for naps. All sleep actually.

Mine did this until they learnt to get it themselves, by rooting for it or holding it in their hands. I think by about 14 weeks or so, so not long!