Never improved after 8 month regression

[Buttercup53]

DS is 1 in a couple of weeks. From around 8/9 weeks old he largely slept through the night barring illness and if he couldn’t find his dummy. Didn’t do the 4 month regression.

The 8 month regression hit like a freight train and he’s never gone back to his previous sleeping habits.

Every nap and night is completely different. Sometimes he’ll drop off easily, sometimes it’s more than an hour of really intense crying. Sometimes he’ll lie awake, others he’ll try to climb out of his cot. Sometimes it’s small wake ups for 5 or so minutes, others it’s for hours in the middle of the night.

I’m rigid with his naps, when it’s time for a nap he doesn’t leave his room. When it’s bedtime he doesn’t come out of his room. He is tired at these times so it’s not a case of needing to move the times, if I don’t stick to these he’s really grumpy, cries constantly, rubs his eyes and ears etc.

I don’t know what I’m asking really, I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has had no improvement for months following a sleep regression and when it eventually got better? I won’t leave him to cry it out but I do encourage him to self settle if he’s just whining because he does have the ability to do so. If he gets too upset or he’s been whining for more than 10 minutes I pick him up again for a cuddle, try a bit more milk, then put him back in his cot.

I’m having similar with my about to be 1 year old - no advice, but lots of sympathy! She usually goes down ok, but can then be up at 11, 2 or 4, or all of them 🤦‍♀️

I’ve blamed the regression, various colds and teething; truth be told I don’t know if there is a reason really. I was spoilt by her eldest sister, who was reliably sleeping through at this point. Do you bf? I do wonder if that’s part of the problem with mine.

No advice I’m afraid, but my DS didn’t sleep through until he was 2.5 years old. I tried everything and beat myself up about what I could possibly be doing wrong.

DD (DC2) was a little weirdo who sket 12 hours a night from 6 weeks old. I did nothing differently. They are just different beasts.

So sorry o can’t console you. But some babies just don’t sleep!

They’re both now teens and I can’t wake them easily

Thanks both, as much as I’d love an answer of ‘I did this and it’s guarenteed to work’ it is helpful to hear that my DS isn’t unique. I honestly think I would find it easier if he’d never slept well but we had so long with good sleep that I feel like there must be something wrong or something that needs fixing. I keep reminding myself it won’t be like this forever but I don’t want to wish his babyhood away either.