3 hours sleep max. Help!!

[Peanut1989]

My 11 week old EBF baby will only go 3 hours between feeds at night if we are lucky, during the day it is about 1.5 hours. He does have reflux so I give him half a gaviscon infant as we go to bed as he has a big feed hoping it will help him keep food down and stay asleep longer, however, gaviscon makes him very constipated so we are reluctant to give him more; we have been giving lactulose alongside but this does nothing and until his 8 week vaccinations he had a dirty nappy at least 4 times a day now he only goes every 2/3 days and I can only describe it as eye watering lava. My HV says that this is normal and him going several times a day was not the norm, however, I am not convinced.

DS has also become very fussy when feeding, breaking the latch often and just shouting at my boob, within a few seconds he is back on again and I have hand expressed to check my milk is still flowing with success. When he is fussing and also when he is fighting sleep (which he does A LOT) he pedals his legs and waves his arms around like he is running a marathon and this makes him more sick as he gets himself worked up but if we restrict his legs by holding him or swaddling him he screams the house down.

As of yet I have been struggling to start a bedtime routine as he absolutely hates baths in the evenings and gets himself so worked up that he throws up and has to be bathed again as he is covered in sick. I have tried some baby massage, particularly on his stomach (to help him poop) but he does not seem to like it and cries. He also cluster feeds in the evenings from 6pm until we go to bed at 10.30/11pm. When we go to bed he does not need much encouragement to go down, he feeds, burps and is straight down in the beside the bed cot and I try to only change his nappy when it feels very full but he often needs his sleep suit changing (usually twice a night) as his shoulders are often drenched from sick when he wakes. He does take a dummy and there have been a few times when he has taken it and gone down for an extra hour but this is seldom the case and I have also tried letting him cry it out and extending the periods before going to him to no avail.

Sorry for the extremely lengthy post but I am getting to the point of pulling my hair out and am in desperate need of some actual sleep so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

The frequency of poo and feeding sounds normal.

I would try and cut diary and soya out for 6 weeks and see if it makes a difference. You will need to take calcium and D supplements and find an alternative source of iodine. Try Asda one brand out milk for iodine.

Apart from the reflux, unfortunately the rest sounds normal. 3hrs between feeds sounds pretty good, even. I had a ebf baby who only did 2hrs and a ff baby who did 3. Babies are a bit evil. But looking back, the time went quicker than it felt at the time. I normally say to friends just do what you need to do to get through the first 4 months, then pop your head up and see if there's any hint of it being worth trying a routine yet. They're all different though. Best luck op.

The only slightly more useful thing I might say is to look up 'wake times' and pay attention to that, so clock watch for when they've been up long enough in a bid to avoid overtiredness and then fighting sleep.

It sounds like the Gaviscon isnt working for him bless his heart.
My DD had a similar experience and Gaviscon done nothing for her what so ever but she was formula fed by that point so I had anti-reflux milk and trialled teat sizes.
Could you maybe try something stronger for reflux from the doctors?

So since I posted this a few days ago things have got so much worse. We can't even get him to sleep for an hour at night and during the day he naps for 5/10 minutes and then is wide awake for about 3 hours screaming constantly. I have resorted to cosleeping at night but the only thing it has achieved is making me angrier because DS shuffles straight over to me and when he wakes he punches and kicks me when he starts screaming in my face. I'm really starting to hate being a mum now

My first EBF baby was a terrible sleeper. Looking back, he was just very overfed and uncomfortably full. Even though they say you can't overfeed them.

I had way too much milk. It came out to fast. Caused the baby all sorts of strange poops, not sleeping and wriggling. On and off the boob. Wanted on for comfort, but then off because he was gagging on milk. Lots of sicking up milk. Poor guy. I put him in a sling most of the day to keep him upright and then did limit his feeds but not the frequency. So little and often. Have you had any success with swaddling to sleep?

In the end, we put him to sleep on his tummy, in the bed side sleeper at night and got one of those Angelcare breathing monitors. Naps were in the sling. It improved the whole situation a bit, but was not a perfect solution. You will need to make your own call on that but we were desperate after 12 weeks of sitting up "asleep" in the nursing chair with him all night.

My next baby was very much the same as the first, but we fared better because I knew what I was doing.

The third is a dream baby.

It feels never-ending at the time but goes very fast when looking back on it.... Good luck and hope some of the PP advice is useful.

Oh you poor thing, it's so hard. No real advice but please know you are doing an amazing job, it's not your fault he's struggling to sleep and it won't last forever. I remember at this age doing lots of walks in the pram or sling in the day to try and encourage sleep as this seemed to help nights. I've been there feeling that I hated being a mum, resenting my baby etc, it's very common, but if you continue feeling this way please see your GP/HV as help is available. I'm still on meds but doing so much better and my relationship with my daughter is good. But sleep deprivation does awful things to your thoughts. I really hope things improve for you. You're a great mum.

I feel for you OP, because I've been where you are. DS is 11 months now and has always been a terrible sleeper (still wakes every 1-1.5 hours in the night actually and I'm back at work full time!), but as PP have said, it does get easier/you adjust more to it as time goes on.

Firstly, it sounds like the gaviscon isn't really working for you and it's far from the only option available, so I'd get back to your GP and ask for something else. We ended up with omeprazole which worked much better after a while.

Secondly, I really do understand it's hard and sleep deprivation is a killer, but an 11 week old jcan't be left to cry it out. They don't have the ability to self sooth at that age and it's a bit cruel to leave them when the best case is they cry themselves exhausted and fall back to sleep. You're still the whole world to your baby and this phase lasts such a short time in the scheme of things.

Co sleeping has been our saviour in the end and allowed me to get some sleep between DS's wakings, though I know what you mean about the kicking etc, as he does the same and it drives me a bit mad sometimes. I can't say much other than I think I've got used to it now, but if it's making things worse for you I'd persevere with putting him back in the bedside crib and take what sleep you can in between.

I hope things feel better for you soon

Putting my dd to sleep on her tummy was the only thing that worked. We didn't have any of the risk factors for SIDS so decided it was worth the risk. Also carrying her around the house stretched out lying on her tummy across my arm (facing pointing to the ground) helped as well. It finally got better when we started her on solids at 6 months. Also US pediatrician prescribed Enfamil AR (special staydown rice formula) at 5 months (one bottle in addition to the EBF) and that helped too.
It will get better (until he's a teenager and then you'll be wishing him back to being a screaming baby, because nothing is worse than teenagers)

Have you tried giving him the medication as prescribed? Which is presumably with every feed. If the HV doesn't think he's constipated why do you? I'd guess he's screaming in pain because the acid is coming up with the milk and causing him immense pain. Poor kid. DS had reflux, had infant Gaviscon every feed and I also had to hold him upright for 30 mins after every feed to help keep the milk down. These measures really worked.

Have you had him checked for tongue tie?

Please don't let a baby with reflux cry it out. Crying exacerbates it and will cause a lot of pain. Sounds like the gaviscon isn't working. Go back to the gp and hopefully they'll prescribe you ranitidine. This didn't work for dd2 though and the only thing that did give any of us some sleep was putting her down on her tummy. Of course the anxiety kept me awake at first but I got a breathing monitor which helped with that

My DS had reflux, we gave him half a sachet of gaviscon during his feed, made sure he was winded and then held him upright for 20 mins after each feed. I know you're not getting on with the gaviscon but could you try infacol as he may have trapped wind.

DS got better after 3 months, but the damage was done now as I was so sleep deprived we co slept. DS is now 2 and guess where he's sleeping.

The8thmonth sounds very similar, i have a fast flow and he often gags because if it.

Discoballs we have had omeprazole prescribed too but it didn't do much as he doesn't seem to struggle with the acid, he just can't keep it down and the Dr said to give half the amount of gaviscon with each feed but again this constipated him and the sick is easier to deal with that the constipation because he would scream in pain all day until he could pass something. I'm not convinced his poop is normal as he suddenly stopped the day he had his 8 week vaccinations. I understand that only going once a day or every other day is normal but to go from 3/4 a day to none with the injections seemed to much if a coincidence.

Towelstripes yes been checked for tongue tie and all clear.

Happycamper11 unfortunately can't get rinitadine anymore, one of the ingredients in it has been linked to cancer so they have stopped giving it out now.

Thank you everyone for your replies, it makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. I will try him on his stomach today and hopefully I should be able to get a nap. I know my other half will be grateful of the peace too, he was really upset yesterday as DS has done nothing but scream since he finished for Christmas and he feels much like I am as a failure at the moment.

I was so exhausted by dd that I was at Costco trying to return her when she was 3 months old (as apparently they will take anything back and sometimes don't notice if it wasn't purchased there).

@Peanut1989 it wasn't until my mother and two aunties visited when DS1 was 4 months old (they all live in the US) when they all said he was overfed and had tummy ache, gas and bad poops because of it.

I was told that you can't over feed EBF babies, but I'm not sure I agree with that, given my experience with 3 DSs....

If you think it's your milk supply, if you can find a breastfeeding group, they may have some ideas to help.

My milk settled down on its own eventually (by 9 months) and as DS1 got bigger he was better able to deal with all the milk....

We ended up in hospital with my baby as the acid was so bad it was burning his throat and he has difficulty to breath.
But there is one more medicine except Ranitidine, I remember I was asking for different one as I wasn't convinced its working. There is one more medication but I know it cannot be used with any hearth condition. And the hands and legs kicking, it's seems like trapped wind. Try exercises with the little one and massage as well. And when sleeping try to elevate the head slightly.

Your baby will mostly grow out of reflux in the next few months hang in there! But the rest sounds normal. More than normal in fact - three hour stretches at night - my two year old barely does that and at 11 weeks all three of my kids were up every hour. It is exhausting but somehow you cope. Well done on ebf

Just to say that we were there too, crying for ages and less than an hour sleep at a time. It was awful. I tried everything to get better sleep but nothing worked. It got marginally better and we managed to get to a point where he would only wake every two/three hours. Then at 15 months we night weaned and he started sleeping through. My only other suggestion is to try a bottle so that your partner can do some of the night shift and you can get a bit more hours sleep in a row. It’s maddening otherwise to wake up so often. We also did it sometimes where I would sleep in spare room and my partner would bring baby to me. He woke up slightly less for my partner and I slept better in between not listening out for all the noises.

One more thing... I've heard from a few people that the usual meds' didn't work for that they tried carabel and it was a game changer. It's simply an old fashioned milk thickener - worth a shot!

Hi OP, sorry if this has already been mentioned but have you checked out whether LO might have CMPA? Your situation sounds exactly like mine with DS at that age - he has CMPA so was put on prescription formula and gaviscon with every bottle - took about 6 weeks for milk to leave his system & throat to recover from burning + a couple of weeks initially to get used to gaviscon (for constipation to ease). It was a horrendous time & contributed significantly to my PND... I don’t usually post on MN but wanted to say, if this is what’s going on for your LO, it does get better. Sending you so you 💐 meantime; make sure to look after yourself when you can.

Other things that helped: napping on the move in his pram and in a swinging seat; reflux wedge tucked in to his pram bassinet & under his change mat; bed raised at one end; gently rocking side to side whilst feeding him standing up!

Ohh we changed to confort milk I forgot to add. SMA comfort, it helped a lot.

Have you tried bicycle/cycling his legs? That can help with constipation