Co-sleeping yes or no?

[millian]

Our 6 month old has slept on his own since the day he was born (in our room) and a pretty good sleeper usually 8-7 he doesn't make a sound. Tonight DH mentioned that maybe we should co-sleep as he thinks he's missing out on bonding. Thoughts?
We co-slept with our 2 year old and personally I loved it but yes problems came with it too, she can't settle herself to sleep without us at bedtime, the transition to her own bed etc. However I did read that children that co-slept with their parents are closer with them and to siblings too. I feel like we are in a good place with his sleeping and also don't want to create a problem that wasn't there... however if it's beneficial for DC mentally in the long run and gives my 2 a good relationship i have no problem switching to co-sleeping.
Can someone weigh up the pros and cons for me?

I think the cons far outweigh the pros. I really don't believe co sleeping is needed to bond with your child.
You've got a good sleep pattern- don't upset it. The main disadvantages of co-sleeping is - safety and ending up in a situation where you can't stop doing it, without upsetting your child.

Interesting, I've never heard of it being put that way. I've only ever thought of co-sleeping for those parents who have poor sleepers. I wouldnt say much bonding goes on at night, I've coslept with both my kids as they did/still do wake up in the night several times and co-sleeping saves our sanity. I'd say don't disturb sleeping patterns! Who knows, maybe with a sleep regression you'll fall into co-sleeping further down the line

With DS1 I didn't need to cosleep as he always settled in his own bed, however DS2 would not sleep unless he was next to me for the first 5 months so I ended up cosleeping with him to save my sanity & actually get at least some sleep! From around 6mths he moved into his own bedroom & it was much better for all of us in the end. He's now 13mths and finally sleeping through most nights.

It sounds like your ds has an amazing sleep pattern, very lucky to have that established at his age! I personally would not switch to co-sleeping at this late a stage, I think you would regret it if you did and then you have issues with him settling in his own bed as he gets older etc. It seems daft to make a rod for your own back.

I think the con is simply your baby might have more disturbed sleep. I coslept from birth, but at 6 months we had to move DC1 into a cot in her own room, as she was waking up with our movements in the bed and wanting to play. She slept more soundly once on her own, and she didn't put up a fight about moving out of our bed. DC2 however is a rubbish sleeper and still in our bed at 2...

I think as your baby is an amazing sleeper there is no harm in giving it a try to see if you are all sleeping well together or not.

I would only co-sleep if it was the only way my child would sleep- if you’ve got something good going, don’t mess with it!

I agree if the baby is sleeping fine now, I would leave as is, I dont think its fair to disrupt their sleep pattern at this stage.

There are plenty of other ways to bond, Maybe he could take the baby swimming (cuddling in the water ) or just being there and spending time together is bonding enough.

Don’t do it! My lo used to be a great sleeper but gradually she was in our bed for the odd night. She’s now 5 & refuses to sleep on her own! Admittedly I enjoy the cuddles but it’s a right pain & we do need to sort it but it’s going to be a tough battle.

There are different ways to bond with your child. In my case, DC3 is a very cuddly child who wants more hugs than the other two, DC1 is a lot less cuddly and DC2 is in between. Not coincidentally, we co-slept with DC3 far more than the other two because he needed that closeness to fall asleep whereas the other two didn't (I believe it was that way around, although I realise you could argue about cause and effect).

That doesn't mean I'm closest to him though. We hug more but I am very close to the other two in different ways (words, actions etc).

You could read 'The 5 Love Languages of Children' for ideas about bonding in different ways.

Mine are pre teen / teens by the way.

I think it’s odd to suddenly decide to co-slew at six months. The benefits and bonding you talk about probably, if they do exist, arise from sleeping alongside parents from birth. DS has cuddles in bed every morning with either me or DH or both, depending what day it is, but he sleeps through the night very well in his cot. He’s more than welcome to join us in bed if he’s poorly or upset - the comfort is available when needed. But I don’t see the need to sleep together all night, every night to bond better with a child.

There’s a good book called The in a Bed by Deborah Jackson that persuaded me why co sleeping is a good long term plan.
Obviously this is anecdotal but my kids are secure and seen at peace with themselves even as teens ( while the mental health troubles and instagram wars rage around them) . May be totally unconnected, but may be a direct result, who knows.