Will my baby ever sleep on his own?

[Baybeemama]

First time posting! Looking for some opinions/similar experiences.
My DS is 11 weeks old, is a great sleeper, if he’s co-sleeping in my bed!
This is a recent thing, as early as last week I would nurse him to sleep and put him in his next-to-me crib, he would sleep in there for around 3-4 hours, wake to feed lying down and (if I hadn’t fallen asleep with him on boob) I’d return him to his crib - he’d wake every couple hours for food and finally at about 5am he’d wake and I’d have him in with me, he’d wake for the day 730-8.
Now however, no matter how hard I try, he won’t settle in crib, but sleeps brilliantly with me. I really don’t mind, but how hard is it going to be to move him to a cot in his room by the time he’s 6 months?! I need my DH back with me in bed, and to enjoy a couple hours downstairs when baby goes to bed.
Baby is EBF, will not take a dummy for love nor money! And goes down about 8pm.
I did try a slightly new routine yesterday - nap in AM, long nap 1-3ish...try for a car nap in PM and bed by 7. He was up til 930pm feeding/not settling in crib when I gave up and put him in with me again!

Just as everything changed a week ago when he stopped sleeping in his crib, it will change again just as quickly.

Millions of regressions, developmental leaps, growth spurts, separation anxieties, teething and colds to go – like the PP said, it will change constantly. DD is 8 months and her sleep changes constantly (rarely for the better ). She's currently in a sidecar cot and likes to fall sleep independently, not touching (still wakes up a million times a night though). Last week she would only sleep on me. Just go with the flow.

Sorry to say but I think 11 weeks is too early for a routine (for most babies).

Also, you say you want to enjoy a couple of hours downstairs when baby goes to bed, but this isn’t recommended under SIDS guidelines - baby should be asleep in the same room as you until 6 months.

May sound patronising, but just enjoy this stage when he’s so tiny and snuggly, worry about routine when he’s a bit bigger.

At 11 weeks I wouldn't worry. Just keep trying him in the crib - even if he's only in there briefly or for a few minutes, just so it feels familiar. Also, sorry if this is obvious, but he isn't too cold is he? Maybe check the temperature and add another layer?

If you want to spend time in the evening with your DH then you still can- keep baby with you downstairs and have the lights and telly on low and chat quietly, then take him up with you when you go. Or have DH come upstairs and do bedtime with you - mine always helped with bedtime with DS1 who was ebf. He'd wind / cuddle the baby after or between feeds and keep me company if it was taking ages to settle him. Get yours involved!

Sorry OP my 16 month old has never slept through... probably not what you want to hear, but I would dramatically lower your expectations. I know it’s horrible but they have regressions at 4 months, one year, around 18 months and 2 years where sleep just goes absolutely sideways. Just do what you can to maximise your sleep as much as possible and maybe let go of expectations of long stretches alone in crib for a while. For your sanity. Life is much happier now I have zero sleep expectations

Doesn't sound like he's sleeping enough in the day. My baby is the same age - once it's getting to the point where he's been awake for 1.5 - 2 hours in the day I settle him for a sleep. He's been sleeping much better at night (in his next2me) since doing this.

Look up new born wake times / sleep cycles. They can tolerate being awake for much shorter periods than you'd expect in the early days :)

Bed for the night at 7 is optimistic! Ours is usually 11pm - midnight! He's still learning day and night. I felt much more relaxed about the whole thing once I accepted he wasn't going to have structures naps and bedtimes.

Your baby is still in 4th trimester and i really don't think it's possible to 'create problems' at this stage. Baby is still so little and gets so much developmentally out of being close to you which it sounds like you're doing a great job of - well done and don't let people convince you you're 'making a rod for your own back' (hate that phrase!)

My ds was in with us for the first 6 months every night (next to me crib) before we moved him into his own room. He had most of his naps in my arms until 10 months - I only stopped when he got too heavy! I can assure you he sleeps through the night in his cot and naps well in there too, has done for ages. I didn't do any sleep training and breastfed to sleep loads. I'm not trying to brag, just want to highlight that it's a myth that keeping baby close etc is guaranteed to make them clingy. All babies are different, don't be afraid to listen to your gut instinct and your individual baby.

Thank you all for your help/advice.
He’s by no means in a strict routine, but I listen and watch out for his sleep cues - he’s naturally fallen into a decent nap ‘routine’ in the day - if I put him down any other time he will just fuss! to the same end, if he falls asleep I don’t keep him up - it’s all very relaxed here!
Is pretty used to bath at 7ish and sleep 8ish (fed to sleep) and was doing a 4 hour stretch in next-to-me followed by 2 hour stretches between feeds til waking 7ish.
Last night, fell asleep with me and was up every 1-2.5 hrs for food so that’s why I’m thinking he’s growing, wants his milk and his mama, which I’m fine with! Glad to hear I’m not making a rod - and also totally happy to be with him for all sleeps, I know it’s temporary. Come 6 months hopefully he’ll enjoy his own space in his cot - only 3 months away, they grow up so quickly!!
@KatnissK funny you say that - I think he may have been a little chilly last night, gave extra blanket but he was fine once with me! I normally have him in a sleep bag but it was in the wash (he’s grown out of the other, more on the shopping list haha) I also Started putting up a little oil radiator in the room which takes the chill off.
DH does get involved - helps lots and has bath time! Like I said, the boy would go down after a good feed and be asleep by 8-830pm so it’s not that he doesn’t settle, it’s that he now won’t sleep in his crib - if he’s with me he’ll sleep, wake, feed and drift off again - I have that to be grateful for I guess!

No. He will never sleep on his own. Even as an adult.