Sleep clinics - anyone been to one? What do they do? More importantly, did it work?

[Olihan]

7.5mo ds2 is a terrible sleeper. He wakes at least 5 times a night, wants to feed every 3 hours (bf) and SCREAMS if I try to settle him witout a feed. He doesn't fall asleep feeding but seems to need it to relax sufficiently to go back to sleep. He will only fall asleep if I pat his bottom or if I cuddle him to sleep, he can't fall asleep without me or dh there. He's had a dummy since 2mo to stop the feeding to sleep but he just can't fall asleep, in his cot, by himself.

We were co sleeping but he was feeding even more frequently and neither of us slept particularly well with him in with us (even though I loved it) so he was in a cot in our room. That seemed to disturb him too so we've put him in his own room but it's still the same.

We tried the NCSS which extended the wakings from every 1.5 - 2 hours to 3 - 3.5 hourly but we haven't managed to extend it to any longer. A couple of times he's slept 6pm to 11pm and once even until 2am but those nights are very much exceptional. DH spent a few days going up at the 2am ish wake up and settling him which worked twice, then ds2 cottoned on to us and just started screaming every time dh went in during the night. So that put paid to that.

DH has now gone back to work after 4 weeks off and is away Mon to Fri every week so I'm dealing with 3 dcs under 4 on my own, getting up every 3 hours in the night and usually getting up for the day at 5am. TBH, I can't cope with it much longer so I'm considering asking the HV to refer us to a sleep clinic.

Before I do, I want to know what to expect though. Are they run by HVs? Because if their sleeping advice is as good as ther bf advice I'd rather go elsewhere!

Also, what methods do they use because there is no way I could do CC with him, I know how long he can scream for and I couldn't put either of us through it.

So your experiences (good or bad) of sleep clinics would be great, please.

Or any strategies that have worked for you that don't involve hours of screaming (from him or me!).

TIA

Bumping, anyone? Please?

I can only speak for myself and I don't do clinics yet (soon to start) just private consultation, but any practitioner should really be providing advice on a variety of strategies and then working with you on deciding which suits you, your child and the rest of the family best.

I think I read somewhere that NHS sleep clinics mainly do ferberising (gradually increasing length of time they cry for), but I can't remember where I read it, i'll try to find it again for you. I also think they are run by specialist HVs.

I do remember talking to a HV generally and she seemed to confirm the above. You might struggle to get a referral at 7.5 months, let us know about how you get on wont you.

HV stock response is to increase the time you 'leave them to cry' ime. I find this a confusing approach but it can work.

Thank you newlifenewname, that's reassuring. I'm at a loss as to what to try next in terms of DIY solutions but I am 100% certain that I don't want to do CC.

gillhowe, am I right in thinking ferberising is pretty much the same as cc? I'm sure the NCSS talks about him and his methods. I think you may be right about his age to, someone on here on another thread said they don't usually accept before 8mo. Is that pretty standard or can it be even older?

That's why I'm worried about talking to the HV, newlife. He really isn't the sort of baby who will cry and then fall asleep. I have driven from Bristol to Cheshire with him screaming constantly and only stopping when I took him out of his carseat at every services along the M5/M6 then starting again the minute he was put back in. 2 and a half hours of screaming even though I was stroking his face, singing to him, etc. I just don't think any kind of crying it out method is an option.

Some will start earlier but less likely to agree if you say you want to do cc which is not the case with you so they shouldn't have a problem.

Have you considered Gradual Retreat?

What's gradual retreat?

I know how you feel, I have 3 dc's, dd 5, ds1 nearly 4 and ds2 7 months. Ds2 I co-sleep with and bf still and he wakes 4-5 times a night, fed most of the night last night though. He also gets up about 5.30 am as does ds1. I find going to

bed earlier helps if you can. He really will outgrow the night wakings eventually. Ds2 has never slept through and always needs milk in the night. We never did dummies or cots but I think you do get used to co-sleeping and feeding as I

don't feel as tired anymore. I would never use cc either as I've read lots about how bad it is for babies and I just don't agree with it.

My heartfelt opinion is that whether or not one is using CC (it doesn't really matter either way) a child that has previously demonstrated super human abilities in resisting sleep, can change dramatically with subtle changes in approach that involve body language, verbal cues, and so on

www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t050200.asp good article and also seach for high need and look at fussy baby section, very good imo.

gradual retreat

Thanks for both of those links, will have a good read of them tomorrow.

JodieG1, we found the cosleeping a problem after dh started working away and ds2 seemed to get used to it just being me and him in the bed so he'd be really fussy over the weekend when dh was there and take a couple of days afterwards to settle back down again. It just didn't seem worth it as I was getting the same amount of sleep when he was in his own room.

Aargh, he's just so different from the other two who were and are still great sleepers.

I need a magic wand, someone, please.

Ferberising is pretty much the same as CC. I read about sleep clinics in birth to five and a a few internet searches (sorry can't find one good link!)

Whenever I've spoken to a HV about sleep they have been fairly useless, mainly they advocate cc, when I've said that i didn't want to do that they have basically said that I will when I am desperate enough and if I'm not then I just need to wait it out and there is nothing they can do to help me (not even sympathy as I have brought it on myself)!

Millpond sleep clinic have a book that is OK if you can get it in a library, they talk about gradual retreat as a method (and a lot about how to do cc)

I've given up now, I was doing a kind of long term gradual retreat. DS starts off in his cot and then sleeps with me on a mattress with DH in the bed. Its not great and I have to lie with him through his naps as well. He has stopped having to bf to sleep though!

I wouldn't go to an NHS sleep clinic. We got our HV to refer us & it was a complete waste of time. 'Leave him longer before you pick up', 'let him settle himself' - yeah yeah yeah. Basically CC is all they were interested in, and referred to Ferber as if he was god; they showed no interest in any other approaches. They also basically said, though, that there wasn't much point trying to change things before a year! Which gave me a good perspective.

My only strategy that doesn't involve hours of continuous screaming is to go in and out picking up and settling in any way you can (avoiding feeding) but never leaving them for longer than you can bear - ie a minute or so. Or stopping night feeds (or stopping the first one for example) and sending partner in, which worked for us quite fast at about 9 months. Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? It's worth a try. This is a really really common problem though and I don't know of any easy solutions. Sympathies - it sucks.