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5 month old sleeping on me until 9pm

10 replies

Colinthedog · 05/12/2019 22:58

I thought I’d had my fill of sleep problems with DS1, but it seems that DS2 has a slightly different problem that I need to tackle!

He’s 5 and a half months old, EBF and generally a happy and content baby. He has silent reflux but we are managing it well with medication and he no longer seems to be in any pain. He’s also an ok sleeper at night, once he’s in his cot. At one point about 6 weeks ago he was sleeping from 9 until 4, waking up to feed and then going back down until 7/8 ish. This has recently changed to him waking at 1, then at 4, then at 7/8, feeding back to sleep each time. Could be better, but compared to DS1 who woke every hour and screamed from about 2am onwards I’m pretty happy with it!

The problem is getting him to sleep on an evening. He just doesn’t seem ready to sleep until 9pm. If he falls asleep around 6.30 or 7.00 he wakes 45 mins later and isn’t ready to go back to sleep until 10.00. So it’s basically another nap. I’ve tried putting him into a routine at 7 with low lights, bed clothes, story etc, but after about 4 days he was still waking up after 45 mins, and he also stopped sleeping in his cot at night as well! I must confess this panicked me a bit so I decided to leave it for a bit and try the routine again at another time.

He also seems to wake up straight away if he’s not asleep on me. On the odd occasion that he’s asleep before 9 I can’t put him down or he just wakes up again. But after 10pm he seems happy to sleep in his cot Confused

I’ve tried different nap schedules, including trying to get him to have a nap at around 4.30/5. If I don’t do this he falls asleep for about 40 mins at around 6.30 and is then up until 10. His naps vary depending on what I’ve got planned for the day, but an average day would be awake by 7.30/8, nap 1 at 10.30 for about an hour, nap 2 at around 1.30 for an hour or two, and nap 3 at 5.00 for about 45 mins. If I’m our with the pram his second nap can be as long as 3 hours, and he won’t always have the later nap if that happens. This seems pretty similar to what DS1 did at the same age.

He’s usually fed to sleep, pushed to sleep in the pram or driven to sleep in the car. He rarely falls asleep on his own in his cot. I know this could be a problem as well, but i think it’s too early to worry about this just yet, as feeding him back to sleep when he wakes at night isn’t a huge issue if he’s only waking once or twice. And he’s still so little!

As he’s still under 6 months I haven’t worried about the late bedtime too much, and as he’s downstairs with us on an evening anyway it has been annoying but not a huge problem (we are following guidelines and not sleeping separately to him for at least 6 months). I also wouldn’t consider any sleep training at this age, and even later on I would only want to go gentle withdrawal sleep training like I did with DS1. I’ve also been wondering if it’s just a body clock thing that will right itself over time, as I know small babies often go to sleep later at the beginning.

However as we get closer to 6 months I’m starting to wonder if I need to be more proactive. I would also like at least a couple of hours during the day without a baby on me! Do I need to reintroduce the routine at 7 and try to force him to slept earlier? Or do I do the routine at 8/8.30 once DS1 is asleep and I finally have some time to relax? I’m worried I’ll just end up spending my whole evening upstairs. Or if it’s a body clock problem do I need to wake him at 6am? It seems totally counter intuitive to wake a sleeping baby, and on bad nights that extra sleep in the morning is helping me to function, but I’m wondering if these ‘lie ins’ are part of the problem?

Or do I wait a bit longer to see if he naturally starts going to sleep earlier by himself?

If anyone has been through similar and has any suggestions I would be very grateful!

OP posts:
sweetpea2811 · 05/12/2019 23:05

If what you're doing now is working for you all then I'd personally stick with it. My baby's bedtime was 11pm/midnight until he was about 10 months. He slept longer stretches if he went to sleep then, and I'm a night owl anyway. It worked for us. He gradually started falling asleep earlier and at 1 year old fell into a routine of going to bed at 7pm.

Colinthedog · 05/12/2019 23:19

Thanks, that’s really helpful. I’m a night owl too, and I’m definitely appreciating the longer sleep sessions (when I get them!) and the later starts. It’s just that everything I read about ideal baby sleep patterns says they should be asleep by 7pm at the latest by 6 months old! I’ve started to worry he’ll still be sitting up with us watching TV at 2 years old Grin But really interesting to hear that your DS moved to an earlier bedtime once he was ready.

OP posts:
saveallyourkisses · 06/12/2019 05:30

I have no answers but am watching this post with interest as my DS is currently six months and I'm having a similar issue with falling asleep quite late. He then also tends to wake at around 5am (as you can see by the time of my post!)
It's tricky because, like you, I'm not feeling like I get any much downtime and with two older DC it can get quite exhausting. However I am also counting myself lucky that he tends to sleep well in his cot once I've got him to sleep (also bfding to sleep and if I try and get him to self-settle then that can go on for hours!) and that he tends to go back to sleep until around 7:30am so I have chance to get my older two ready in the mornings.
I genuinely don't remember when my older DC started going to bed around 7pm but that could be my sleepy haze to blame! 🤦‍♀️

Colinthedog · 12/01/2020 19:52

Just to update, we started a routine just before Xmas (so when he was just turning 6 moths), putting him down at around 6.30. And it worked! He’s still waking several times a night but we are working on putting him down awake and things are improving. Last night we put him down at 6.30 and first wake up wasn’t until 11! We managed to watch a whole film!!Grin

OP posts:
Giraffe888 · 13/01/2020 16:42

@Colinthedog how are you working on putting him down awake? My DS is 5.5 months and feeds to sleep or rocked to sleep for naps

Waffle12 · 13/01/2020 17:46

Hi @Colinthedog

Well done on the progress u have made!!

We are in a similar position to your 1st post. Having trouble getting little one to have a bedtime before about 9. She is 4.5 months so slightly younger but interested to know how u are doing this lol.

Is your DS still going down in the same room as you (so your living room?) Or is he in his own room now?

Our dd is still down with us until we go up at around 10/10.30 but having to have lights out, tv right down and being quiet as nice otherwise dd is eyes wide open!! Feels like we have no evening whatsoever!!

Colinthedog · 13/01/2020 18:10

@Giraffe888 It’s not easy! I’ve cut the feed from his bedtime routine. So I feed him downstairs between 6 and 6.30 (depending how late last nap was) with lights on, and then take him upstairs for a simple bedtime routine- moisturiser, sleep suit, bedtime story. When the story is finished I turn light off and night light on, then I rock and shush him until he is sleepy. Then I put him in his cot while he’s awake. It’s still early days with this part of the routine so he usually protests, so I’ll pat and shush him in his cot until he’s falling asleep. Then I sit with him not making any noise until he’s asleep. If he gets upset, rather than a mantra cry to help get to sleep, I pick him up and start the rocking and shushing again and repeat the process. Until he goes to sleep in his cot. It’s tough but it’s working, and we are getting some longer sleeps of 3-4 hours, sometimes even 5!!

OP posts:
Colinthedog · 13/01/2020 18:34

@Waffle12 We were very similar until recently, he would stay downstairs with us, asleep on me, until we went to bed. I don’t think he was ready for an earlier bedtime until he was almost 6 months. We’d tried at around 4 months and he just used to have a nap and then he wide awake until 10.30. But something was different when we tried just before 6 months and it worked. Although until the last few days he would still wake and cry after 45 mins, but the difference is he would go back to sleep with a quick pat and shush quite easily rather than staying awake. And now he isn’t waking up until closer to 10 or 11, although I don’t want to jinx it as it’s still early days!

He’s in a full size cot but he’s still in my room for now. I’m not in a huge rush to move him to his own room while he’s still feeding several times a night. So I feed downstairs, bedtime routine in my room and then into his cot with a night light and video monitor.

I know what you mean about the evenings, I feel like I can cope with most things as long as I get some time to myself each day, even just a couple of hours. And I couldn’t even go for a wee without waking him up as he was sleeping on me! 6 months was definitely long enough, so I’m a lot happier now that we have the routine.

They are all different and yours might respond to the routine earlier if you are getting sick of having no real evening, but even if you don’t make a change now I’m sure you will be able to soon. Good luck!

OP posts:
gaffamate · 13/01/2020 18:38

Following as currently have 5 month old on me too. Also had nightmare first DC for sleep so I'm very much thinking that it went so badly with her when we did try to do bedtimes etc then I can't get it any more wrong with this one, so why bother. Im going with what works, which for now is letting him nap on me 7-9 and then we all go to bed, Dh and I watch TV in bed for an hour and he's sometimes up, sometimes ok to go on the cot. I think I'll start doing something about a proper bedtime at 8 months or so, basically I'm being very laid back with this one and enjoying it far more!

Giraffe888 · 13/01/2020 18:47

@Colinthedog thank you I’ll give that a try!

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