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Heeeelp!! 4 month overtired / undertired / won't nap and having meltdowns- please help!!

8 replies

RoxHarl · 05/12/2019 14:12

I recently posted asking about routines for a 4 month old baby and got some really useful replies - however, I'm still struggling with understanding why my little girl acts the way she does.

We're having more and more issues with daily meltdowns which I think are definitely tiredness related but cannot figure out how to help her.

When she is awake she is lots of fun, full of laughs and smiles, but her meltdowns are so frequent and I really need to work out how I can help her. Here is a typical day for us (this was today so far)...

7:00 get up (sometimes she is awake before this)
Put mobile over her crib while I get ready - she loves this

7:15- 8:00ish -play - greay fun - looking out for sleepy signals

8:00 - starts going into a potential meltdown, manage to get her to sleep in my arms but a lot of crying first

8:00 - 8:40 - asleep in my arms

8:40 - 9:40 - play

9:40 starts big meltdown, hysterically crying, try to soothe, only works momentarily or not at all. Appears tired, rubbing eyes nose etc, try to rock to sleep, feed to sleep, put in crib on side and pat - nothing works (could she be undertired??)

9:50 -put her on her playmat

10:10 - starting to cry and get worked up again like she is overtired. Again try to soothe and to put to sleep in various ways - nothing works - gets more worked up.

10:45 - Put her in the pram, weather too bad to go out but try rocking etc, still awake and trying to find anything in pram to look at.

10:55 - try again in crib, this time she gives in and sleeps

11:30 wakes up but in bad mood (needs more sleep?) breastfeed (which I do on demand during the day) try again to put to sleep but again resisting.

11:45 - 12:40 - play - starts to show tired signs

12:40 - starts meltdown, crying hysterically etc - try rocking to sleep / putting down in cot etc - nothing working

1:00 - put her down on her playmat

1:20 - starting to cry and get upset again

1:30 -put her in the sling where she cries and fusses but eventually sleeps
And that is where we are right now (2pm here in Ireland)

Has anyone else had this experience with their baby? She is now 4 months old but she has been like this for at least the past month.

Her night sleep isn't great, but not awful. We do a bedtime routine and she normally goes down easily after I breastfed her at 7pm, on a good night she will wake around 11 and then maybe one or two more times. Sometimes she will be very hard to re-settle and can be kicking around in her crib for a long time while I try to help her, other times not too bad.

She is our first baby and I am really struggling to read her cues for naps. She very very rarely ever simply gets tired and falls asleep herself, but if i didn't try to get her to sleep she would go for hours getting more and more worked up.....

Really hoping someone has had a similar experience and can give me some insight or suggestions!

Thanking you in advance!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
OrangeZog · 05/12/2019 14:17

Is she happy on her playmat? I’m wondering if she has silent reflux so lying down is painful and that’s why she is struggling. Otherwise, in my experience, babies usually go back down for a nap very soon after they wake up in the morning. She looks like she has lots of stimulation and perhaps some of it is a bit too much for her. When she is going down for a nap, is the room dark? Do you have sleep aids like white noise?

VisionQuest · 05/12/2019 14:27

See I would disagree that she needs to be going back to bed at 8am after waking at 7, with only a couple of night wakings.

If she's fussing after she wakes up, then could you try a long walk in the pushchair? Some fresh air would probably help, plus plenty of things to look at and then when you get back at 10/11 she might be more inclined to sleep?

I would then play a bit in the house in the afternoon then go for another long walk, again the fresh air does help to knock them out.

This is what I did with a fussy baby, who was into everything but bored at home!

Greenvalleymama · 05/12/2019 14:41

Some babies just fight sleep, and others will fall asleep easily. It's nothing you're doing wrong, it's just a stage.
It's very common, and she will grow out of it. The gaps between naps will get longer over the next 6 months until she's having just one nap at lunchtime/ afternoon. Life will be easier then.
It's stressful for you both, so just do whatever you can to get her to sleep safe in the knowledge that it won't always be like this.

HakunaMatataa · 05/12/2019 16:07

Mine was/is the same. I spoke the the health visitors who sent me round a sleep consultant type person and that's helped me

RoxHarl · 05/12/2019 16:59

Thanks so much for all your responses!
@HakunaMatataa can I ask what type of things did the sleep consultant suggest?

OP posts:
HakunaMatataa · 05/12/2019 17:08

Of course. Our routine wasnt great. Now I'm quite regimented.
He gets up around 7.
Then has breakfast around 8.
9 he has a nap (still hit and miss).
Lunch is at 12.
Nap around 1 (again hit and miss)
Dinner is at 5
6.30 bath ( she said no longer than 10 mins as it releases the sleep hormone)
Book
Bed at 7

She also suggested gradual retreat. If you PM me I'll send you more details over otherwise I'll take over the thread Hmm

I can now put him down to sleep rather than him being on me. Still hit and miss very much so. But I feel everytime we make progress another tooth comes through lol.

I managed to get his naps from 20 mins a time to over an hour which helped massively and in turn had an impact on his night time sleep.

HTH

lioness88 · 07/12/2019 20:26

Do you use a dummy?

Hopingforarainbow27 · 24/07/2023 09:35

@RoxHarl just wondering how you got on with this? When I read your post I felt like I could have written it myself. My baby is 4 months and is the exact same.

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