Putting baby down asleep?

[Duvetmum]

Hi all. I am constantly reading that you should put a baby down drowsy but awake. I am just wondering if there’s anyone out there that this really doesn’t work for. My little one screams the house down if I try to do this. Only option we have is to put her down asleep but think this affects her self settling!

In my experience (2 children of my own and various babysitting), 'drowsy but awake' is total bullcrap.
I bf mine to sleep with some patting on the bum, they pop off eventually and I lay them down. As they get bigger they stay down for longer. It varies though, I take the long view that they'll sleep through when they're ready. DD is now 4 and sleeps 7.30 to 7 in her own bed with only very rare wake ups. DS is 8m and when not poorly or teething does decent stretches solo.

I fed to sleep since birth, everyone in the house would have been very tired and stressed if I didnt. 7 months in and still doesnt self sooth but will be rocked in the pram or walked around in the dark to sleep. Just do what feels right for you its not forever

I fed to sleep since birth, everyone in the house would have been very tired and stressed if I didnt. 7 months in and still doesnt self sooth but will be rocked in the pram or walked around in the dark to sleep. Just do what feels right for you its not forever

Mine will take herself to sleep either from wide awake or drowsy. The only time she can't is if she's upset (overtired, been woken up etc etc). I then cuddle her until she's relaxed and drowsy and then put her down and she will then drift off.

I think she's a chilled out baby though. I think it's luck of the draw.

Touch wood she stays that way 🤞🤞

This angers me so much as I was always told to do this. My daughter has never been "drowsy but awake" in the ten months she's been on this earth. I have always breast fed to sleep and then put her down. Do what is best for you, pick your battles and priorities. Sleep for all is definitely number 1.

Drowsy but awake doesn't work in this house either. He might be drowsy but as soon as he's placed in his crib he gets upset and is no longer drowsy. And repeat!

At some point they need to learn how to go to sleep on their own. Whether they do that at 6 months/12 months/2 years is up to you! Also depends if you are happy always doing bedtime or not?

Rather than putting down drowsy but awake I would let mine fall asleep in my arms and then put them down with a bit of a flop so they woke up slightly and knew they were in the cot but we’re too tired to properly wake up. Seems to work well.

Drowsy but awake.
Apart from me in my 20s after a night out I have no idea what this myth means

I don’t understand drowsy but awake. Mine go to bed awake. Then they go to sleep.

Dr told me if they go down and are aware of their surroundings can therefore self settle if they awake slightly. Waking not in the place they fell asleep can awaken them fully and be harder to self settle. Meaning they cry for you as wide awake!!
I used this theory with ds 10 months who had never slept alone or in the dark (10 months in /out of hospital), he slept through on the 5th night..
Was a bloody miracle I tell you!! Dr showed me sleep patterns (waves of different levels of sleep) and how an already asleep dc will react as opposed to an awake dc going to bed....

Do what's right for you and your family.

We've always had cuddle on our bed until DS (9 months) falls asleep and then move him to his cot. My DM and MIL both say we making a rod for our own back, but really what's wrong with being cuddled to sleep and feeling loved and safe.

When DS wakes in night for a feed he always goes down awake and falls asleep himself anyway.

My 8 month old goes down sleepy but awake after her bottle. She then settles to sleep. Her older brother would never be put down awake and so was fed or rocked to sleep every night.

2 of mine could be put down awake and would go to sleep (not even particularly drowsy, just full and clean) and one hated being put down at all, ever

Do what is best for you and done with about it
Mine is 8.5 months old and we've done feeding to sleep/ co-sleeping then moved him to sleep more often in his cot after a feed to sleep. He knows his cot well enough that when he wakes up he can self settle back in his cot.
I've been able to put him down when drowsy but awake after a night feed, and he has self settled in his cot.
This all goes out of the window when he's poorly, and being at nursery now, he's been poorly a lot.
Both me & DH work full time so we go with the easiest option. Sometimes it's feed to sleep & co-sleeping, other times my DH can rock him to sleep and put him down in his cot asleep.

do what is best for you and don't worry about it
Sorry, literally trying to feed DS to sleep as I type this whilst his coughing wakes him up

Immediately made me think of the A-Z on the how to survive a sleep thief blog. Including such gems as:

"Drowsy but awake: The quickest way to piss off a tired baby."

"Expert baby advice books: Useful for propping up one side of the baby’s cot when they have a cold. Can also help to make you aware of all things that you are doing wrong"

I think the "drowsy but awake" thing is lies, as I don't think babies can just be drowsy when put down! Mine can be put down awake after his bed time routine, and he will settle himself to sleep. But he is going down pretty awake and will babble away to himself for a bit before falling asleep. I think drowsy babies put down are more likely to get pissed off because they were nearly asleep and now they are in a cold hard cot! Whereas awake but content babies are probably easier to teach to self settle. But think this probably depends on the baby looking at other people's replies!!

Mine doesn't have a drowsy but awake state she can be put down in. Some just don't

I have to put DD down absolutely sparko. But I think you're meant to do that. If babies weren't supposed to fall asleep at the breast or by rocking, they wouldn't.

Absolutely understand it can lead to horrific sleep and that sleep deprivation is grim – there's a reason I haunt the sleep boards – but it's normal.

The only times I see DD "drowsy but awake" are: the middle of the night, when she can occasionally go to sleep by herself. Except to get to that stage she has to have been asleep first, and woken up. And when she's in the sling and ready to sleep and gets all heavy-eyed and burbly. (But if I took her out and plonked her à la cot she'd kick off.)

How old is your daughter? My daughter was like this and I tried a few times to copy my NCT friends and put her down drowsy but awake but it just led to me going up and down the stairs all evening, and eventually giving up and feeding to sleep again.

Then at 5 months it was like a switch just flicked in her head and one day she was playing on her mat and just nodded off! I was shocked. From then onwards I had much more luck and by about 7 months she could reliably be laid down in her cot (with a dummy) and put herself to sleep.

I think each baby is different, but for us it was just a case that she wasn't ready to do it herself yet. My friend with a baby 4 months younger had a similar experience but her daughter was a bit older when the switch flicked.

Now my daughter is 15 months and, since about a month ago, when she rubs her eyes, we can ask "do you want to go to bed?" and she will say "yeh" if she wants to go up or stay quiet if she's not ready yet (- this was one of the first questions she learned to answer -), so feeding her to sleep in those early months definitely didn't impact her learning to realise when she needs to go to sleep!

Good luck with it - there's no right or wrong way IMO!