I feel like an awful mum

[RumRumRum]

My baby has rubbish day time naps which results in crap nights sleep. He woke up every 90 minutes last night, and I don't know what to do. He's 4 months old and bf and I'm finding most of the time the only way to settle him is to give him boob.
In the day unless we're constantly moving or he naps on me then he's not napping. So if we're out and about he'll get the odd 20 minutes in the car or pram, otherwise I need to constantly walk/drive around to keep him sleeping or have him on me. We go to lots of classes/meet friends for him and my sanity but I feel I'm failing him by him not napping enough and subsequently having a shit nights sleep. I can actually track my mood now on how good a nap day he's having, If it's good I'm happy, if not I get stressed and sad.
So for example yesterday:
10 minute nap as we walked to meet friends
30 minute nap on way home
30 minute nap walking round shops
90 minute nap on me when we got home
(This was a pretty good day for naps)
He'll typically barely sleep all day then have a mega 3 hour nap on me from 4ish which means I can't get anything done and delays bedtime.
Do I need to just become a hermit and not go out, or not do things unless he's napped? As I've always let him fit around me and didn't want to become one of those mums who cancels things as the baby is napping, but I'm feeling so bad about his lack of sleep that it's getting me down.

He might just be a crap sleeper, and you're in four-month regression territory. Even on good nap days my daughter wakes up that often; I've given up trying to improve her sleep, I think it's developmental.

You could try concentrating on naps for a couple of weeks, at the expense of classes and groups, etc, to see if they improve. If they do, you'll know your routine and what you can fit in-between naps. If they don't, no harm done and you can get back out there fitting him around you.

The 30-minute naps are fairly standard for lots of babies, the 90 minutes is good going. The 3-4 hour nap should really be night-time sleep. Can you let him have an hour then wake him at 5pm for a 7pm bedtime?

For nights, cosleep to survive! Only settling for boob sounds normal. For naps on you, invest in a sports water bottle, battery pack and lots of biscuits, sod the to-do list, and enjoy.

Totally second the co sleep to survive! Just make sure you follow the safe seven 😊

www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/l

I had the exact same with my LG when she was around 3/4 months it was last summer when we had that crazy heatwave that seemed to last forever!! She would only sleep on me if I breastfed her or carried her and walked around pacing the front room, or walked her in the pram but I didn't like taking her out in the heat or if I drove around but my car air con was broken. I literally ended up having a break down it felt like I was a prisoner in my own home and totally exhausting so I completely know how you feel. All I can say is don't beat yourself up about it there's nothing you are doing wrong and she did get a lot better with age. If I could go back and give myself some advice knowing what she is like now I would telling myself to stop stressing so much and it does get better!! Good luck

Thank you for your replies and support. It's good to know that it's not abnormal what we're going through sleep wise.
@burritofan I think I may have to trial missing classes etc and focusing on sleep, although we had quite a quiet weekend and even then he didn't nap that well😭 so could just be we have a crap sleeper/baby that requires less sleep. Who knows!
I'm still undecided on co-sleeping, I think when he's a little bit older I'll be more comfortable with it, as I'm still so worried about rolling onto him or something. I do bring him into bed around 6am most days but I don't fully sleep then as I'm quite conscious of him being there, but maybe it is something I'll have to do to survive.
Out of interest, how long did the 4-month sleep regression last with you?
@popsadaisy I have felt quite down this week and I do genuinely think it's to do with his sleeping. The fact that I'm sleep deprived obviously doesn't help either! I do just need to accept it is what it is and to try and stress less about it if I can.