Is it possible for a 10 week old to self settle / soothe?

[gdmpmtpp]

Because mine will only be rocked or fed to sleep...

Have others had success with self settling/soothing at this age? If so, any tips?

Alternatively, when have people found this happens and does it happen by themselves or did you have to introduce it / train them...?

Thanks!

I was told teaching to self settle during the day would help her learn to do this at night so we both get a less disturbed night sleep.

Yeah. Erm, nope. That’s not how baby sleep works.

@NeedAnExpert why do you say this? (Genuinely interested to know)

I usually think advice on getting babies to sleep is a bit hit and miss, but this seemed to make sense to me... if they get comfortable settling themselves during the day rather than getting used to being fed/rocked, they would in turn feel more comfortable getting themselves back to sleep in the night (unless of course genuinely hungry etc) as they wouldn't associate falling asleep with being fed or rocked....

Night hormones different to day. We’re primed to be alert for danger at night. Hard to train out the biological wiring. It’s all about survival.

Babies sleeping too deeply at night is a SIDS risk. Regular waking helps to keep them alive.

Mine were put down sleepy but awake from day one and could self settle. They both slept through from six weeks as well.........I'm pretty sure that was down to luck and their personalities tho but it's definitely worth a try.

@NeedAnExpert Okay, it's 4am now and this is the third time she's woken up (12.30, 2.30, 3.45) the last two times she hasn't needed to feed, it's just comfort suckling. Shes likely going to wake up another once of twice before we get up. If this is night time hormones, and a way of preventing SIDS why aren't all babies waking up this much?
(Again genuinely interested to understand more)

@FoamingAtTheUterus that sounds amazing

When I knew mine were comfort sucking I just implemented pick up put down. Mine all slept through from early on. Same sleep associations day and night.

I never read up on anything but when my DS was about 12 or 13 weeks old we started putting him upstairs to sleep with the baby monitor on - if he cried out at any point I would run up and comfort him straight away. I like to think I was tricking him into thinking I was actually in the room 🤷‍♀️ It worked somehow. 9 weeks still seems a little young though.

Yes, but a PPs have said it depends on the baby entirely. Dd1 fell asleep once or twice like that as a baby. Dd2 could settle by herself pretty much instantly. But it did not last and at about 4 months she always had to be fed to sleep.

Dd1 could be put into bed with a story from about aged two and she would get herself to sleep. Dd2 is two and a half and still needs a breastfeed and for me to sit with her until she falls asleep.

Its not bad to try and teach self settling and it will work with some babies and not others. Comes from my knowledgeable experience of two children so I am an expert!

I used to give the dummy at night first, I was still breastfeeding at 9 weeks (well, mixed feeding) but she didn't really feed between about 10/11pm and 5/6am. If she woke in between then I would offer dummy and settle her by like putting my hand on her tummy in her cosleeper and essentially rocking her with it. I would only feed her if that clearly wasn't working, which was rare. We used dummy for naps in the daytime. She was cuddled and usually rocked to sleep at that age both before bed on a night and for naps in the day (tho she was a terrible catnapper and rarely slept more than 30-45mins in one go).

Should say tho my DD fed very frequently in the daytime at that age (mostly BF) and was gaining weight at a speed that meant she was going up the centiles much faster than her birth weight indicated she would. So we weren't worried about having a gap between feeds at night. If she hadn't have been gaining well obviously different.

I never read up on anything

Including SIDS.

but when my DS was about 12 or 13 weeks old we started putting him upstairs to sleep with the baby monitor on

A baby monitor is not a substitute for an adult being in the room. The adult’s presence helps to regulate the baby’s breathing. Ever likely our species is in such a state if tiny babies are seen as needing to be “tricked”.

I have 3 children, my youngest is 10 weeks old. I have done nothing differently and they are all hugely different. This one is a good sleeper, when she’s asleep, she’s down for hours, but she is fed and rocked to sleep. My eldest would go down awake, cried if I rocked him but woke at 4/5am till he was about 5! The middle one thought sleep was the enemy and absolutely nothing worked till he was 3 and even now it’s a battle. You have to roll with it at this age I’m afraid, if she was ya to be fed and rocked, for now, you feed and rock x

@NeedAnExpert Okay, it's 4am now and this is the third time she's woken up (12.30, 2.30, 3.45) the last two times she hasn't needed to feed, it's just comfort suckling.

Clever girl. She knows that all the cuddles will help her brain develop.

If this is night time hormones, and a way of preventing SIDS why aren't all babies waking up this much?

All babies are different. They grow at different rates. Trillions of neural connections will be made and she will double in size in her first 12 months.

I’d imagine that would disrupt your sleep at times. ;)

There is nothing wrong with rocking or feeding a 10w old to sleep.

Ps your pattern of wake ups sounds like the pattern I had with all my three kids. Perfectly norma

And how do you know she’s only comfort sucking? Young babies aren’t malicious

@Oly4 of course I'm not suggesting she's being malicious! I'm saying she's comfort suckling because she's falling asleep after about 30 seconds and when she's hungry she obvious feeds for longer...

@NeedAnExpert when you put it like that it does make sense. I do wish she'd take a dummy as I think a lot of comfort would come from that and also mean she isn't exhausted from being awake so much in the night

There is nothing wrong with feeding her to sleep if you are comfortable with that. She will self soothe when she is ready. But don't expect it to happen quickly some babies sleep through early some much later. In my family the age babies have slept through range from 6onths to 2 years +.

My older relatives suggested not going straight to her when she was just grumbling a little, but do when she cries - I think that's what self soothing at this age is.