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Original poster

Panicking every night

16 replies

MamaDane · 16/11/2019 17:02

Hey mums (and dads!)

I've got a bit of an issue. My lovely 12 weeks old twins tend to sleep through the night, from around midnight give or take half an hour or so until at least 5 am or the latest 8 am. Now that is really wonderful, yet I still don't get a full night's rest.

The problem is that I woke up at least once and sometimes 5 or 6 times during the night in a panic. I search me and my partner's duvets for the babies because it feels like they are lost in the covers. Like I can actually feel their weight and like they only get more lost in the duvet the more I search. Perhaps like quicksand.
Even yesterday I actually looked into the cot where the babies were sleeping soundly (they wear sleepbags and not baby duvets because of my fear of sids, even though duvets are more normal/common here in Denmark) and I was still convinced there were babies lost in the duvets. Confused

My partner thinks it's all related to my fear of SIDS as I've mentioned before how the most dangerous time is between 2 and 4 months and it basically started getting really bad after 2 months. I have had these night issues since they were born but yeah they've definitely worsened by far. My partner used to experience this as well but it basically disappeared within the first 4 weeks.

I'm not sure what I want to do with this post. Except maybe ask if I'm normal? This isn't something I should mention to a doctor? Did you experience this? If so when did it go away? Blush

Just FYI, I have an anxiety disorder (among other things).

Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Harrysmummy246 · 16/11/2019 19:33

I did occasionally have this but not to this extent, it does seem this may be an extension of your anxiety disorder and you should probably seek guidance from your doctor

Original poster
MamaDane · 16/11/2019 19:37

Yeah I figured that I may need to do that. Thank you

OP posts:
smemorata · 16/11/2019 19:44

I used to get this with my twins! I also used to think I had either left them in my bed or put them both in the same cot. I think it was due to the tiredness and it did go eventually. If it's worrying you though I would speak to your doctor.

igglepigglesbestie · 16/11/2019 19:48

I found having a sensor mat in the cot helped me to relax. An alarm went off if it didn’t sense breathing or movement for 20 seconds.
You can get similar that clip to their nappies. Would this help you to relax a bit more?

Original poster
MamaDane · 16/11/2019 21:04

@Smemorata when did it eventually lessen and stop all together for you? I don't know what is normal and what isn't.

@igglepigglesbestie
Where do you find that? Perhaps it could help!

OP posts:
igglepigglesbestie · 16/11/2019 21:11

Ours was just a tommee tippee one. I know angelcare do one too. Let me find you screenshots.
I’ve attached the sensor pads that go under a mattress and the ones that clip on a nappy.
The sensor pad would be good for you, as if you take them out of their cot without turning it off then it can’t sense movement so the alarm goes off.

Panicking every night
Panicking every night
Original poster
MamaDane · 16/11/2019 21:13

Oh wow. That could be a really good thing! Thank you so much @igglepigglesbestie especially the sensor I'm interested in

OP posts:
twinboymumma · 16/11/2019 21:27

I still have that fear every so often and my twins are 8 months. I don't know what to suggest but I assume it's the joy of being a mum and never being able to switch off Confused

Original poster
MamaDane · 16/11/2019 21:31

@twinboymumma 😭 that is a long time

OP posts:
MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee · 16/11/2019 21:34

I used to do this quite a bit (my DS is now 14 months) especially in the first months - it was always much worse when I was super tired. It did go away over time try not to worry (obviously unless you think it’s worth seeing your GP). I think it was partly due to fear of sids and the constant reminders before babies are born not to have them in bed with you or else ... so when I was exhausted I used to wake up in a panic and think he was there and I must have drifted off with him there ... he never was. Sending you good vibes because it’s not nice but you just need to trust yourself and your processes that you wouldn’t do it

sewinginscotland · 18/11/2019 15:10

I used to do this when DS was tiny, it got better when I slept better! Midnight till 5am isn't sleeping through the night, it's only 5 hours of sleep for you (even if you manage to sleep all the time you do, which is hard).

Do you have any coping strategies for your anxiety disorder? Can you apply them to this situation? Being a new mum gives plenty of new things to worry about?

silverliningsa · 18/11/2019 15:18

Both me and DH would do exactly that with our twins!
We’d both wake several times a night in such a panic that they were in the bed. Often I would wake him or him me with a panicked ‘where are the babies’, when they were just sleeping soundly in their Moses baskets next to us. We too had a big fear of sids so maybe it was related, plus just the utter tiredness we were dealing with. And I think them being so small and vulnerable it didn’t help.
It did stop eventually, I’m not sure when as they are 2 now. Although I do still check on them a lot which is probably due to anxiety. We also had those snuza baby clip on alarms that have been mentioned up thread. They were a help in general although didn’t stop the thinking they were in our bed panic. You do also get the odd false alarm with those when they come lose which is terrifying but actually we decided we’d rather that than no alarm at all. So you’re not alone but maybe see the doctor if the anxiety is getting too much :)

Campervan69 · 18/11/2019 15:23

I did this with all my babies. It's anxiety related and unfortunately tiredness makes it worse. I think you may have to ride it out. Gets easier as they get older. You're just a very attentive mum.

Moonshine160 · 20/11/2019 21:44

I used to do this with DS in his next to me crib. I’d wake up and think that his head had slipped under his sleeping bag somehow. It’s when I was still half asleep and just exhausted, it did pass eventually.

LolaLollypop · 20/11/2019 22:02

I think these are more night terrors. I get them when I'm stressed. Always about the same thing! (Losing something important - ending up searching frantically in the bed for the "lost" item).
Maybe before you get into bed go to see the twins, tuck them up and actually physically say to yourself "they're safe". Make a mental note of each of them in their cot and look around the room, take into account that that's where they are and they can't move.
The last thing on your mind before you go to bed is that they're safe, secure in their sleeping bags and happy. Hopefully your mind will be a bit more at ease when you drop off to sleep and won't wake you in a panic. Good luck!

LL82 · 21/11/2019 20:54

I had this feeling too in the early days (my baby is now 7 months). I think I found it worse when me and my partner were in the same bed. When he went in the spare room I don’t recall getting that’s feeling. Also always been terrified of SIDSs. Thinking of you xx

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