Co-sleeping driving me mad

[Cheeseandpickle1]

My sons are 1yro & 3yro they have always Co-slept with me since birth. I enjoyed it at the beginning because it was easy with breastfeeding. I also enjoyed cuddling with my 3yro but now they’re just too big and fidgety! They both have a room that they share with beds but they will not stay in the room without me. Even if I get them to sleep and sneak out, they wake within an hour and cry for me. They won’t keep eachother company they simply want mummy.

DH and I are debating putting a baby gate on the outside of the door. This is due to the fact that DS1 just opens the door and lets himself and brother out! Which is extremely frustrating.

I’m at the end of my tether and I’ve tried everything. I didn’t want to go through the cry it out method but my boys are so extremely strong willed and I neeeeeeed my own bed back. My poor back is in bits, I can’t keep sharing a bed with them.

Please I need suggestions!

I have a very strong willed son too and he only wants Mum too! My back is also in bits from sleeping on a thin mattress in his bedroom! I have read (but not tried it myself) sitting on a cushion while they are awake, you call it “the sleepy cushion” you sit on it at the side of there bed until they fall asleep, do this for a few days then move it away and keep repeating until you are out of the door, if they wake in the night you sit back on the cushion. I think I’m going to give it a try when we have been on holiday in a few weeks. I have read reward charts but my son is not driven by them at all, maybe one to try.

You sound exactly like me! On the thin mattress.

How old is your son?
It does get a bit easier when they’re older I know that but it feels like the next 2 years will be hectic if this continues.

If my 3yro falls asleep I can sneak out the room and he will still stay asleep sometimes all night or only wakes breifly. It’s my 1yro that will wake frequently if I’m not near.

I could try that plan. I remember doing it with DS1 when he was younger and it was awful I would sit on the rocking chair and move it back bit by bit until I was out of the door. I was literally up all night doing it. It was awful. It was about 4 days of me doing all of that for him to be back in my room by day 5 it was ridiculous.
I hope you have more luck than I did! I will try again and see how it goes.

Yes! Me too!

My little girl is 18mths and I haven’t tried to get her in her own room yet but I’m dreading it. She thinks her cot is a bounce house... I’ve been low-key arguing with my husband about whether we should take the sides off and make it into a toddler bed to transition her... but I confess I don’t know how to get her to sleep without breastfeeding her...

Yes you sound just like me. When I was breastfeeding I used to nurse them to sleep and it was the only way they would fall asleep. I’m quite relieved now as my 1yro is on the bottle and drifts off after a big bottle!

I wouldn’t bother taking the sides down get if I were you. If she just bounces in her cot now, taking the sides down will only be a way out to her.
We took the side down on our cot and DS would just get out when he pleased, which was all of the time!
Wish you luck!

Put a stairgate up.

Definitely put a stair gate up, dd has one mainly because her bedroom is directly above steep stairs, less than a meter between (terrace layout).

You should be able to reason a bit with the 3 year old, and I’d look into some gentle sleep training with the 1 year old. Also look at a gro-clock. Worked wonders for my almost 3 year old!

Maybe work on them separately? So get 3 yo into bed, and then sleep train with the 1 yo.

We built a 'nest' on the floor beside our bed and told ds he could come through and sleep beside me but not in the bed because there was not enough space. He actually did sleep there without too much fuss, being in our room seemed to be enough for him.

Can the 1 yr old get out by himself? If he's the one who wakes the most would it be better if he could just walk through to you and not disturb his brother? Or does 1 still feel a bit small to be wandering around the house by himself?

Mine is now 7 and still sleeps in my bed when DH is away for work.

Definitely put the stair gate up.

Thank you! Good luck to you, too...

I really thought she’d just grow out of breastfeeding. I’d heard all these stories about how other people’s children just “went off” the breast. Not mine...

What will the stair gate achieve PPs? Just trap the children who need their mum? 🤔