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Baby struggles to settle

9 replies

Motherhippo · 05/11/2019 10:00

My 10 week old won’t settle to sleep until she has cried herself to the point of exhaustion. I try getting her to sleep at the first signs she’s tired (rubbing eyes, yawning etc) but nothing works. She will only sleep on me and has done so since she was born. To make matters worse in the last week she has decided that she will only stop crying if she’s held so she can see over my shoulder, and I have to be standing up. If I try to sit down or change her position then she just screams. She has always needed to be held to not cry since she was born, but at least I could sit down before. She is a big baby so wandering round with her on my shoulders for hours is taking its toll on my back. It’s the only way to get her to sleep (eventually) or trying to bf her to sleep (which I know you’re not supposed to do)
Once she’s asleep I can sit/lie down/change her position
I don’t know what her problem is at the moment but it’s absolutely draining. I don’t know if she’s started teething as she’s dribbling a lot more than normal and has taken to chewing on her hands. (She won’t take a dummy). She is a lot more fussy than she has been previously and can go from happy to screaming in a second. Hubby's at work so it’s just me contending with her all day. I hate to hear her cry and am feeling like a failure that I can’t get her to sleep until she’s exhausted herself. I’m exhausted myself and am pretty sure this garbled message barely makes sense ConfusedConfusedConfused

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MustardScreams · 05/11/2019 10:02

Aw it’s rough when they’re tiny. Is she breast or bottle fed? It could be reflux, which is why she likes being upright as it stops the acid rising up and hurting. Have you tried raising the head of her crib so she’s not completely flat? A sling might also be your friend here.

Loaf90 · 05/11/2019 10:09

It sounds like it could be reflux. I'd try raising her mattress slightly at one end. Otherwise a trip to the GP might be useful for a trial of Gaviscon or similar. Also, have you tried white noise? I find this a god send. You can try by downloading an app called Rain Rain (though I'm sure there are loads that are similar out there

LeeMiller · 05/11/2019 10:09

It's tough but most babies I know were similar at that age, they want to be held (Google 4th trimester) and there are evolutionary reasons why they won't let you sit down, as frustrating as it is!

If she will feed to sleep I'd do that, I don't buy the 'rod for your own back' line as babies go through phases and you just have to do what works at the time, especially when she's still so tiny.

Also, a sling will save your back, arms and sanity, absolutely worth a try (or a few tries until she gets used to it) - maybe see if there is a library near you?

Curtainly · 05/11/2019 10:12

This isn't that surprising at 10 weeks, I do empathise fully though as I remember it being absolutely savage. If you don't have one a sling can be really good as others have said, and unfortunately it's partly just time.

WhataMissMap · 05/11/2019 13:15

Your message makes perfect sense.
I’m sorry you are having problems but I was glad to see your post as I wondered if you had got over the bout of mastitis?

Also I don’t see any problem in Breast feeding a baby to sleep. Maybe yours is unsettled for some reason. I would let her feed as much as she wants to, if you are still breast feeding. Maybe she’s going to have a growth spurt and she needs the extra energy.

Sit down with a good book or the TV and just feed her. Don’t feel guilty about not doing anything else. It will be a short phase in my experience.

Don’t do anything else. Eat a good diet, lots of calcium ensure your milk is really rich. Don’t worry baby will take all the extra calories you won’t gain weight.

If you are not breast feeding solely ignore my advice.

Dont despair these trying phases pass!

Best wishes

WhataMissMap · 05/11/2019 13:33

Ps
For a fretful baby, the advice of an aged midwife friend of mine was to eat regular portions of rice pudding or porridge made with full cream milk. If you are too exhausted to cook try rice pudding from a tin! In these days of “healthy eating” it may be frowned upon, but it might be worth a try.

I’ve known it to help in many cases as a short term fix.

WhataMissMap · 05/11/2019 13:37

Pps- just read that back the pudding is to be eaten by you not baby,😀
And only if you have a solely breast fed baby or you will be needing to join Weight Watchers.
Good luck

Motherhippo · 05/11/2019 13:43

WhataMissMap I am just finishing my course of antibiotics for mastitis. Fingers crossed I won’t get it again as I am sticking with exclusively breastfeeding. Thank you and everybody for your advice and words of encouragement. Being at home all day with a fussy baby can feel very isolating. It’s nice to know others have been in the same boat. She’s currently falling asleep after a feed and I’m hoping for a little peace and quiet now.

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WhataMissMap · 05/11/2019 14:05

I can remember that feeling.

It seems that so few babies are exclusively breast fed nowadays that we have lost all the “old wives” advice. Which was often based on generations of experience.

Feet up as often as you can, good food, lots to drink ( non alcoholic😂), gentle exercise and pram pushing all to be taken a regular intervals.

The best advice I was ever given was change your breast feeding position at each feed or during a feed to ensure all ducts are emptying equally.

Also don’t start feeding with the same breast each time. Alternate sides when beginning. The theory behind this is the suck reflex is strongest at the start of the feed.
Prevention is better than cure in the case of mastitis.

You probably know that already,

Good luck!

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