Different or no idea

[Ellam86]

So.. here we are at 5am.
My night off... mu partner said hell give me the night off, I woke up to the familiar sound of his playmat. Went downstairs to find my partner had fed him and let him go on his playmat. I'm livid... hes there with the light on watching tv and instead of keeping things "night based" with low lights / stimulation hes doing this!
Our son is 3month old and has become "out of sync" with feeds and sleep.. meaning he used to have 6oz every three hours, now he sometimes goes less between feeds and his bed time is now anything from 4 to 10 whereas before it was bath n bed by 7.
I can hear him cry his tired cry now but even though I've said to him already my partner things I'm having a go and jumps in defence. I just left him to it but its killing me up here.
Help

No “routine” lasts for long at that age. Try not to get too hung up on length of time between feeds, bedtimes etc.

However, if your partner has offered to give you the night off then he shouldn’t be waking you up at 5am with noisy play mats/the tv.

Do you normally do all of the night feeds? Given that your partner offered to give you the night off I’m guessing that you do. Your baby is bottle fed, not breastfed so there is really no reason why your partner couldn’t share the night feeds. It’s really not fair for one person to be sleep deprived and the other not. This seems to be the arrangement for so many women and it’s totally unfair. Just because you’re on maternity leave and not going to work in an office it doesn’t mean you don’t need sleep. Looking after a baby is the hardest job in the world and sleep deprivation is a killer. You need to find an arrangement where night feeds are shared fairly so that you are each getting some sleep.

YANBU if mine woke up before say 6.30 it would be dark, quiet and treated as bedtime. Baby might have just needed a feed & back to sleep rather than properly getting up to play.

I agree, don't worry about routine. But 12 hours of nighttime, ie dark and quiet, are really important for establishing good habits. Tell your partner to read a few articles online about it. I think it's called circadian rhythm or so something. It's not fair when you work hard to establish good sleeping habits to have it undone when it's his turn to take baby. Good luck

Yes I do night feeds mon to friday and weekends are mainly him. I found it easier to do night shift myself, the whole process is about 30 mins...if he does them I'm already well awake and my son is too before my partner wakes and realises he needs a feed etc. Luckily it's a 3am and then 6am ish.

Tonight my son was found sleeping on his playmat in his baby sleeping bag.i said he needs his basket but he wouldn't let me put him in. Tonight it's been lovely..I've actually had the house to myself whilst he took our son for a walk.. bliss.
I'm going to try hard to get his sleeping back to normal, fighting sleep still by 8pm isnt good for any of us and I'm fearing this is due to "slack bedtime routine" lately, either that or a growth spurt. I'll look up circadian routine thanks! I'll tell my partner to do it too.. it's hard when one wants one thing and the other is so blazé about things. Im the one doing all our sons tlc bits like nail clipping, deeper cleaning etc not just eat change sleep and all the house work on top...its tough going.