Any advice for a cot-refusing one year old?

[thisonebreath]

DD is nearly 14 months and has always co-slept. We tried to start settling her in her cot in August with some limited success, she'd sleep for maybe a couple of hours but then wake up up and come in with us.
However we went on holiday and then she had a cold when she came back which meant we went back to co sleeping because otherwise nobody was getting any sleep.
I really want her to start sleeping in the cot because it means I'm having to go to bed at 8 p.m. Plus she's such a light sleeper I can't even with going for a wee in case she wakes up and falls off the bed. I've got a side sleeper thing but she can climb over it. However whenever I try and get her to settle in the cold she screams hysterically and is sick. 😔 Even with me sitting next to the cot patting and shushing her. I don't know what to do. I can't start any sleep training even the gentlest kind because she starts screaming until she said as soon as she goes in. But I have no evening ever. I have no time to myself because we have to others who need dealing with in the day. I've had to turn down an evening out tomorrow with DH because we can't leave her with anybody.

Has anybody been in this situation? Did anything work?

Sorry about any typos she's currently asleep on. Because she will only sleep with me.

I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Mine has just gone 2 and we are currently struggling with the same (she only naps on me too!) hugs x

Does she play in the cot during the day? You need to make her realise it’s a nice place to be. Personally I would put her in the cot at bedtime, maybe with a light show or music, say goodnight and leave. After 2 minutes come back in and reassure her and leave again, repeat after 4 minutes, then 8 minutes etc. Be firm and consistent. If she’s sick then clean her up quietly and with no fuss then start again from 2 minutes. It won’t be fun but guess it depends how much you want your evenings back. Allowing a child to cosleep for 14 months before deciding it’s not for you after all is always going to be hard work to sort I’m afraid.

Sometimes you've just got to push through. You'll have a vile couple of weeks where you'll cry as much as her but then she will twig that sleep does happen in a cot too.

If you keep rescuing her from the place that is not for sleeping to put her in the place that is for sleeping then you are actually reinforcing that the cot is the place of wrongness.

Of course she'll scream if, as it seems to her, you keep accidentally putting her to bed in the place not for sleeping and only put her in the right place when she screams you into action. She's probably confused as hell as to why you keep putting her down in the place that's not for sleeping.

She cries every time I put her in the cot, day or night.
It's not really a case of just deciding it's not for me - my elder two DDs co-slept and transferred to cot sleeping fine at about a year. I suppose I assumed she'd do the same. And she was for a bit. But then we went on holiday and there wasn't a cot and when we got back she was ill and I was worried. If she was just crying normally I'd be able to handle it but it's the hysteria and being sick that gets to me.

Mine didn't sleep in a cot for any length of time. He would sometimes play in it, had a noisy activity centre attached (you know, whirrrr, honk, ding ding, etc):-).

We co slept for a long time, grew quite used to it really, it was cosy. Didn't go to bed at 10 though, got him ready in pjs etc and he came downstairs with us where he would play quietly, look at books and cuddle until he fell asleep. He was as comfy downstairs as up.

We did come in for some criticism (mainly from grandparents) but carried on regardless, it worked for us. He's a big grown up man now, clever and independent, so there were no lasting negative effects.

You do what is right for the three of you, He won't be a baby for long!

We co slept and gave up on the cot and bought a toddler bed at 15 months, she went to sleep in it and trotted it when she woke usually about 2am for a feed (I breastfed)