Controlled crying uncertainty

[booklover164]

I am losing the plot with my 14 month old. He's such a bad sleeper and we are just exhausted.

We have put off doing the controlled crying approach for fear of future psychological impact mainly. However sleep deprivation is taking over our lives at the moment and we're really struggling.

He's definitely not ready for one nap. It takes him about 45 minutes to go to sleep with one of us with him. He then wakes anywhere between once every hour to after about 4 hours asleep. He then is up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night sometimes crying and sometimes wanting to play. He's then up at 5 when I bring him into our bed and breastfeed him where he snoozes for about an hour.

I wondered if anyone could advise with the controlled crying method? What if he just doesn't stop crying?! ( he's quite a stubborn child, like his mum!)

Thank you

Ah bless you, that sounds really tough. I also have a 14 month old and started sleep training him at 6 months because his sleep was absolutely horrific and I am someone who desperately needs my shut eye, it was affecting my MH. Sleep training isn’t as brutal as you think, please don’t worry about psychological damage - that only comes from chronic, long term neglect. What I did is left them for a time I was comfortable with, say 5 mins, then go in to comfort / resettle and leave again for a little bit longer, say 7 minutes and so on. The trick is to give them the chance to figure out how to settle themselves to sleep without a “crutch” from you, whether that be feeding, rocking, etc. whilst reassuring them that you’re still there. It’s not easy and you have to be consistent and commit but it is worth it!

You have every right to be concerned about psychological damage, I'd research it more... If it doesn't feel right don't do it.

Unfortunately psychological damage doesn't only come from chronic long term neglect controlled crying particularly as young as 6 months only 'works' because of the psychological damage babies of that age don't have the ability to self soothe.
As for you question OP- I personally wouldn't use a controlled crying method- what are you day time and night time routines like?

No advice to your specific question. Just that my son started sleeping through at 16 months. I didn't do any training! So you may not need to intervene. I know the deprivation is hard!