Sleep training.. what are my options

[SpiderGal]

PFB is 3 months old.

We co-sleep. EBF. She won't take a dummy.

I feel like I've made a rod for my own back. She will only fall to sleep on the boob. Or being rocked/bounced. Or sometimes in the car or pushchair.

How and when do I help her to self sooth? She won't be put down when she's asleep. Putting her down drowsy she'll wake straight up.

I hear of too many babies sleeping through or only waking for 1 feed in the night. I'm worried I'm doing everything wrong and she'll never sleep through. I can't see how she'll sleep in her own room at 6 months if she'll only sleep on the boob.

I don't want to do controlled crying. What are my other options?

She is too young for any sort of sleep training, you sound like you are doing a great job! I wouldn't worry about it at this early stage, they change so much as they grow, 3 months is still so tiny.

sarahockwell-smith.com/2012/11/04/the-fourth-trimester-aka-why-your-newborn-baby-is-only-happy-in-your-arms/

This explains your, and my previous predicament, you haven’t made a rod for you back

Far too little for anything structured. If you do want to move her off boob or to sleep without rocking etc, then revisit it at six months and start with something gentle.

Also she doesn't have to sleep in her own room at six months. You aren't obliged to move them out the day they turn six months! She can stay with you for as long as works for you both.

Honestly I think it depends more on the temperament of the baby than the method.

I think you've done everything absolutely perfectly for what is 'the fourth trimester' so don't give yourself a hard time. Now, if you like, you could start gradually combination feeding (express or formula) just to get her on the bottle sometimes (and off you). Do you have a side-sleeping crib, like 'chicco next to me'? That would be a good transition for next few months. Then gradually at 6,7,8 months, doesn't have to be exact, you could increase bottles at night (again expressed if you prefer), and let DH do them. Mine would take bottle and go straight back down into cot at this stage using that method. If she cried, I'd pick her up, cuddle and then put back down. A sleeping bag is quite comforting for them. She loves her cot now!

She will only fall to sleep on the boob. Or being rocked/bounced. Or sometimes in the car or pushchair.
Honestly that's loads of methods! Some babies will only accept boob, or only accept mum.

It will also change without you doing anything; sometimes for the worse, sometimes just different. And like a PP said, they don't have to leave your room at six months if it doesn't suit. It's not mandatory.

There are 4 options for baby sleep:

1. Get lucky with a good sleeper or one who "gets it" quite quickly
2. Crying methods (CC, CIO, PUPD)
3. Slow methods involving patting and shushing and gradually retreating
4. Cosleep, feed to sleep and wait to see what happens. (I'm on this plan and hoping DD will want to sleep in her room independently by 2-ish, but happy for her to need me and her dad for as long as it takes. I don't do crying.)

I would say that she is far too young for any sort of sleep training. Lucy Wolfe’s book goes into some detail about some gentle methods for babies under 6 months, but honestly, my DS is 7 months old and when he was 3 months there was no way I’d just be able to put him down and expect him to sleep. He had to be rocked/bounced/breastfed to sleep. From about 5.5 months he was occasionally able to self settle and was sleeping through, but then teething and illnesses have buggered that up. I now try and tell myself that everything is just a phase, the good and the bad. At 3 months of age I would just keep doing what you’re doing, it won’t be forever.

She's 3 months..

Please don't sleep train, she's still so young... Please research the affects especially at this age. It's completely normal for them to need you and it isn't essential for them to self settle, especially at that age.

You haven't made a rod for your own back you've been meeting your childs needs. Society has created this obsession when it's normal baby behaviour.