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Sleep

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Original poster

"Putting down" & "Settling" a baby

18 replies

Mo2 · 29/08/2002 15:24

Mumsnetters - advice needed on the above. My ds2 is only 4 weeks, but already my sense is that he's quite a 'needy' baby (or have I just forgotton, and all young babies are like this?)
He only has 3 modes - feed, sleep and cry. When he's awake I can't seem to 'settle' him for even 5 mins in a rocker/under a mobile etc without him screaming blue murder? And if he's asleep and I leave the room, he seems to sense it and wakes up minutes later crying.
I am considering starting a GF type routine over the next 2 - 4 weeks, but it makes me laugh when she talks about 'settling' your baby - how EXACTLY do you do this please without rocking/ feeding etc?
Friends of mine seem to have babies who will happily sit in a bouncy chair watching them get on with household chores etc - gurgling contentedly - has this been achieved by letting them cry it out from an earlier stage do your think?
I don't exactly expect lots of time to myself but I can't seem to get 5 minutes even to make myself a sandwich!

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Tissy · 29/08/2002 15:41

Mo2, no advice about settling (but I'm sure there'll be plenty), but my dd was just like this for about six weeks. We have no photos of her with her eyes open till then. I spent a lot of time walking about the house with her in a sling, or sitting on the sofa with her asleep on my chest, not daring to move in case she woke up. I even used to take her out in the pushchair if I wanted to make a phone call, and use the mobile, as if I talked on the phone even when she was asleep, she would wake up and yell! I don't remember whether there was a reason why, but she suddenly just "woke up" and started to take notice, then I was able to put her in the bouncy chair and get on with a few things, like eating. She still needed to see me though. I didn't have the heart to let her cry it out. The was one time that I remember, when I was trying to make an effort to get some dinner ready for dh. I put dd in the pram in the kitchen while I chopped some onions. She yelled and yelled and then stopped. I went to look at her, thinking that crying it out obviously did work after all, and she had a look of such misery on her face- she must have thought that she'd been abandoned for good rather than 5 minutes! Needless to say the dinner didn't get cooked, becuse I felt so guilty that I picked her straight up and went back to the sofa! It does pass, honestly!

Demented · 29/08/2002 18:41

I have a DS aged 12 weeks who was and to a certain extent still is like this. I find the only thing that helps is a battery operated baby swing, he loves to sleep in it and at least this way I can get some time to attend to his big brother or get on with things.

Mooma · 29/08/2002 19:30

Have you tried carrying him about in a sling, so that your motion soothes him and you have your hands free?
Only problem when my high-maintenance ds was tiny - he kept ending up with my snatched mouthfuls of food dropping crumbs on his head!

Mooma · 29/08/2002 19:31

Sorry Tissy, I missed that you'd already suggested a sling. Maternal dementia setting in...

Bozza · 29/08/2002 21:06

Mo2 - I haven't got any advice really. I just wonder if sub-consciously we expect a second/subsequent baby to be easier and, of course, that is not always the case.

calcium · 29/08/2002 21:24

OK rich coming from someone who is always writing re; sleep but my dd (now 12 weeks) wouldn't settle at such a young age. She hated a sling as it was torture being so near a food source and would only sleep in my arms. the minute I put her down she would wake. She did like the bouncy swing thing (when I visited others houses) but I didn't feel this should be a means of settling. What we did do was to tape her favourite mobile tune and put it on a loop and burn it onto a CD therefore giving me 1hour of music for her to fall asleep to. The settling thing meant I let her cry for 2 hours continuing to touch her chest and soothe her. I did this every night and now she settles she just doesn't stay asleep. If I need to settle her I will either hold her, rock gently and put down rubbing her chest or if she is very sucky give her a dummy while I rub her chest. Mind you at 4 weeks nothing would have worked. Perseverance is all I can say, if you can handle it will work in the end, I promise. this is coming from someone who has tried every trick in the book! Good Luck.

ionesmum · 29/08/2002 22:08

As a total amature I hesitate to offer advice, but these things helped dd. A vibrating bouncy chair, a lullaby tape (begin by playing it at cuddly time and then leave it playing when you leave the room, and a dummy. I also second the advice about placing a hand on your baby's chest as a way of reassurance, our dd also likes having her head stroked.

Dd had a difficult birth and cried solidly for about 5 weeks. After that she really settled and is happy to sit in her bouncy chair or playnest (and now high chair) and watch me or play by herself. And I have never left dd to cry at all.

Lollypop · 29/08/2002 22:19

I know a lot of people will not like this, but you could put him in front of the TV in a bouncy chair for a bit. 15 mins of Teletubbies would probably be good for both of you.
Also you said he has a mobil does he a playgym? I don't think I'd of coped without mine. DH used to settle DD when she was in the cot by gently but firmly putting his hand on her tummy.

leander · 29/08/2002 22:26

I just have to second Dementeds advice I wouldn't have got through those first couple of months without my baby swing it was an absolute lifesaver and if anyone wanted to know what to buy for a new baby this would be top of the list.

SueDonim · 30/08/2002 03:41

You could be talking about my baby No4, Mo2! I had to carry her all the time, either in my arms or in a sling and DH had to cook the tea. It improved a lot once she could sit up.

You could try one of those special womb music CD's, advertised in baby mags. I had one for No3 and it was fantastic, sent her off to sleep within seconds. I used to feel guilty about using it because it worked so well, it felt like I was drugging her!! However, it didn't work with No4 but I still think it's worth trying. I think you have to start using them within 10 weeks of birth.

Original poster

Mo2 · 30/08/2002 10:27

Good suggestions - thanks! I Do have a baby sling, but as you said, Calcium, I think ds gets too worked up being so close to the food source!
Am seriously considering the baby swing, but I don't want him to get used to one of these as a means of falling asleep?
Have heard from various friends about the success of lullaby CDs etc - can anyone recommend specific ones and where I can get them? (SueDomin - do you know what yours was called?)
Interestingly, ds was a c-section birth and we played some classical guitar music in the theatre during the delivery, and whenever I play it now it calms him, so that's our first CD choice...

OP posts:

calcium · 31/08/2002 01:32

Lollypop - yes Tellytubbies would be enough to send anyone to sleep ha ha ha... Sounds like the bouncy chair is a winner here I must say whenever I visited my friends and we put her in it she did sleep it was just that her kids would turn up the speed and my poor dd would whizz back and forth I am sure it over stimulated her mind you looked funny. Can you borrow one?

calcium · 31/08/2002 01:33

oopps I meant to say " she looked funny" not you!

Lollypop · 31/08/2002 14:09

DD was happy in one of those cheap chairs from Toy R Us- about £14. She was able to bounce herself after a couple of weeks, especially during Top of the Pops.

calcium · 31/08/2002 14:54

Oh I think I may be on the wrong track, I thought you were refering to one of the swinging chairs not the bouncy 'feeding' type chairs!! Sorry...

Demented · 01/09/2002 09:19

Calcium, if you are looking for a baby swing (this is what I use for DS2) they have (or certainly had) them at kiddicare.com for £59.99 (free P&P).

ionesmum · 01/09/2002 21:02

Mo2, the lullaby CD that we use is 'Lullabies; A Song Book Companion' by the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It's really lovely, it's so nice that I've done a copy for my mum, and I really like listening to it over and over again1 It definitely helps to keep dd settled. You can get the CD from Amazon but as it's an import you have to wait about 1 mo but I thought it worth the wait. If you go to their website you can have a listen to it and many others, I chose the one I liked the most. HTH

SueDonim · 02/09/2002 12:07

Mo2, sorry to take so long to get back to you - been having internet problems.

I think the tape we had was called "JayCee" or something similar and they advertise regularly in baby magazines. I can't be more specific as we're living away from home and I don't have my stuff to hand, unfortunately. HTH, anyway.

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