At the end of my tether - don't know what to do

[Amanda104]

I am a novice poster so please bear with me but I am at the end of my sleep deprived tether.

My son is nearly 12 weeks and when he was born he was using me as a soother and making me sore so I introduced a dummy. I have been wrapping him and putting him to sleep on his side and he slept pretty well, most nights when he is fully swaddled and goes to sleep with his dummy he slept pretty well, I bath, boob then bed for 7pm, lift him for a feed at 10/10.30 and then he can go through until 4.30am or even 5.30am with the occassional 6.30am which has been great.

But..............

The problem is now he constantly wakes up for his dummy and I have been reaching my hand into his moses basket and plugging him (he is still in our room). I have tried half swaddling him so that when he loses his dummy he could find his fingers but he just flails his arms about and cant keep his thumb/fingers in his mouth and then we wakes up properly. Also he is quite a long baby and is starting to outgrow his moses basket so he will have to go into his cot in his own room soon and I dont want to be going into his room a dozen times a night just to plug him. My husband nor I fancy the idea of co-sleeping.

So has anybody any ideas or suggestions apart from a large strip of duck tape!!!!

seriously, wean the dummy. It is not as difficult as you might think.
we were in this position - I was waking every 2 hours to replug, and as ds is also swaddled, he couldnt replug. It's so tiring.
see my dummy weaning diary..

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=5&threadid=359494&stamp=070801203918

sorry, dodgy link,

try www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=5&threadid=359494&stamp=070801203918

Thanks ratfly just read the thread you did really great - well done.

Do you think he is a bit young he needs it soooooooo much. And what do you think of the swaddling???? Should I wean the swaddling first so he can find his fingers or do the dummy first????

If you don't mind keeping him in the room but don't want to co-sleep in the sense of having him in the same bed as you, what about a bedside cot? Then you'd still be able to reach over and plug him back in. might be a bit of squash if your room is small though.

He might grow out of it anyway. My DS needed a dummy to go to sleep between about 3 and 6 months and then one day he wouldn't touch it. So our problem wasn't weaning him off but trying to persuade him to take it again. We failed but he now is fine on his own after a transition period of sucking on our little fingers instead (much more inconvenient!) A couple of other RL friends' babies also rejected dummies around 6 mo.

Hi,, just tried putting him down with him swaddled under his arms and no dummy - he screamed for 30 mins until I have just caved in and fully swaddled him and given him his dummy - its just too hard and I feel so mean and now I feel soooo bad - I dont know who is sobbing more me or him now!

I went for the dummy first - I thought that if I weaned the swaddle he would knock his dummy out and need replugging anyway. I use a swaddle to stop ds itching his eczema, so was reluctant to get rid of it anyway.

If you are waking up to replug the dummy, I would bite the bullet and wean it. those sleepless nights are a killer, and he is probably old enough not to need it anyway.

Also, when I weaned it, he cried for quite a long time, so I lay next to him soothing him. I nearly gave in too - it is so horrible seeing them so upset - but I didn't, and he DID eventually drop off.

I did try without the swaddle too first, to see if he would find his fingers, but then I thought that weaning both at once might be a bit too stressful (for both of us!). And he didnt find his fingers, he just got really upset with his arms up in the air. I think I did 5 - 10 mins with no swaddle and no dummy, then I put the swaddle on and it only took about 5-10 mins (of screaming, but with me right next to him, comforting him) for him to go down. It only took a few days until he was sleeping without it, and now a few weeks on I am SO glad I did it as he really doesnt miss it. And it made a difference to those awful nights IMMEDIATELY.

good luck!